As many of you may already be aware of, depending on your your encounters with me, your default settings on your social networking pages on Facebook and Twitter, and how often you are online, you may know about my current petition campaign. This petition is my appeal to both Houses of the US Congress and to the US President, to provide funds to all 50 states to make programs for present and future adults with autism, available for the first time: http://www.change.org/petitions/the-u-s-senate-the-u-s-house-of-representatives-president-obama-release-funds-for-services-for-adults-with-autism-to-each-of-the-50-states#share.
But this blog is not about my petition campaign but about my concerns and issues with the pervasive tendency too many people have, to not respond to even transparent attempts to communicate with them, whether this be by telephone, letter or greeting card, by email or by messages on social networks like Facebook, Skype or others SNSs. To me, the simple act of returning such attempts to communicate with one, is a common courtesy and refusing to do so is plain rude! And rudeness is a big turn-off. As I have begun to to reach out to more and more people on behalf of my petition campaign, I have targeted especially those in the autism community, parents, professionals and nonprofits and resources that specialize in this complex neurological condition and work to improve life for those who are touched by autism. As I have spent much of my time sending personal messages, especially by email and Facebook, sharing my story briefly, sending the URL link to my petition and stressing the importance of this and its relevance, I have seen an annoying, upsetting and frustrating trend. It is simply this: So many people seem to see it as a waste of their time to return their messages, unless they are angry at the sender and have an agenda of their own and want something from the sender.
Now I know that, even on social networks, even when people pose as advocates for a given cause (especially if it's a popular one) or as survivors of any given experience, that this does not prove, beyond a doubt, that such persons can be trusted to be what they claim for themselves. There are some people who can put up blogspots, websites, and pages on Facebook, Twitter or Google where they use these as platforms and gain the admiration, support and trust of many. And I know that all of us have been hurt by such people and sadly, many of us will be hurt again by such people. I don't know about you but when I send heartfelt, personal messages to people and never hear anything from them, this hurts their credibility in my eyes and makes me wonder if they are what they claim they are. I know that on many websites that are set up for advocacy or for any other reason, there are "Contact Me" forms where you can send messages to the person who runs the site but in a format where they don't get spammed. I have noticed that, during my petition campaign, when I use these "Contact Me" forms to reach out to people about my petition, that I usually do not get any personal reply. It makes me wonder: What is the purpose of their "Contact Me" forms?
Don't get me wrong: I know that everyone is busy, leading their own lives and may not check their inbox messages on a daily basis or even pay attention to them. And I know that my petition campaign is as yet in the very early stages. But as I seek to keep my expectations low, I still seek to gain supporters from those who have "bigger voices" and more resources than I do, and who are passionate about improving life for all who are touched by autism and who can take my effrts to a whole different level where not only hundred but thousands of signatures will be collected. My fear is that too many people may not see their inbox messages or recognize other attempts to communicate with them, and so see taking the time to respond to these communication attempts, as one way that they don't want to spend their time. I realize that, in the world of SNSs, messages are often filtered and even good messages can end up in email "Spam" folders or in the new Facebook "Others" messages box that shows up with a Facebook user hits the "Messages" feature on their homepage. And I know that not everyone may check phone messages regularly. My issue is that, even allowing for such factors, that too many people don't seem to even try.
As I have reached out to people, especially in the autism community, by email and Facebook messages, I have noticed that few have, so far, returned my personal messages, let alone adding their names to my petition. I have wondered about this: would such persons, groups or organizations have responded to me if I had name recognition? I fear that I already know the answer to that question and the implications would make another blog topic about our "celebrity culture."
Of course, my petition campaign has not been my only experience with unreturned messages or attempts to communicate with people. Over the years, I have found that too many people, both in "real life" and online, simply have not been disposed to returning phone messages, letters, emails, or SNS inbox messages. Yes, I know that in this information age, all of us are flooded with messages, including automated messages, mass messages and plain spam. But when I lament about unreturned messages, I'm talking about unreturned PERSONAL messages, not the refusal to pay attention to the others. May many people are just so sick and tired of getting spammed by the other kind of messages that they tune out personal messages also. I can fully understand ignoring these other kind of messages, as I ignore such, except those which I have subscribed to, and I get so many of those that I have come to ignore such automated messages. I have found another, general pattern in sending and returning messages. From experience, I have this: As a rule, I know that if people have not returned online communications in about a week's time, I can conclude that I will never hear from them. In this past year, I have gotten so frustrated and disheartened by the volume of my unreturned messages in my email and Facebook inboxes, and at the same time have gotten unwanted mass messages (sent out to 100 people or more) that I have posted about it. Several separate times, I have posted: "These things I do not like: Unreturned Messages and Mass Messages."
Yes, I know that the reason that some people do not return their messages is their feelings about the sender: If they do not like the sender or are trying to avoid the sender for some reason, they are probably going to put such messages in their "Spam" or "Trash" inbox folders, tear up the letter, delete the phone message and avoid the sender. And, to this day, I have wondered if this is the reason so many people, in my "real life" or online, do not return my messages at all. I have noticed that when I have had differences or fallings-out with people, in "real life" and especially online, that further efforts to reach out to them and reconnect, have usually been to no avail. And epecially online, those who seem to have stopped keeping in touch with me at all, have been those who have had close ties with groups or organizations that I have had bad experiences with. This is sad, as I believe many of these people seem to be good and sincere people. But I know that when people continue to fail to respond to my efforts to communicate with them, there is probably something wrong or that there are personal differences.
In the area of Chat, I do not start Chat conversations with anyone but I'm often the recipient of such efforts to communicate with me; many are those of the opposite sex who just want someone to chat with, and some seem to have agendas or want me to do something for them. I try to repond in some shape or fashion to most who start the Chat feature, even if I don't get in a conversation. Yes, there are times when, having a sense of what the person probably has wanted or not really being "in the mood" to chat because I'm busy doing something, I have not responded to the person in Chat. Myself, I try to return as many of my phone messages, letters (from pen pals), emails and SNS messages as I can.
And yes, I am thankful for those who do show the common courtesy to return their messages, whatever their relationship with me. And as I go into this petition campaign, I will continue to reach out to more people, especially my "local" contacts and to those in the autism community. I'm disappointed that Causes has gotten rid of the feature where we can send personal thank-yous to supporters but I thank everyone who has and who will, add their names to this petition. For every signature counts!
As for the rest of you, I hope to hear from you!
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