In modern world women are nip and tuck with men. And very often it is the woman who is a breadwinner, head and support of the family. Sometimes she is even a defender. As she has to deal with school problems, services and so on. According to some researches we can make such conclusions:
- Relations of equality become a dominate tendency.
- The matter of the family head transforms into the problem of leadership.
- The man often is a formal head of the family, just because of the tradition.
- According to surveys, in every fifth family a woman is head and in every sixth a man is.
- There is a process of active feminization of modern family. A woman occupies more often a leading position in a family. She controls the family budget for example.
- The woman-mother has a leading role in up-bringing children.
- The woman is often a housekeeper; it means that she allocates duties about the house among all family members.
Statistics and facts are a very much stubborn things. You should understand that everything you wait for is in the past and it is important to find new ways in relations. So now let’s speak about relations themselves.
What does the modern woman wait from the marriage?
Myth #1. Find a couple and happiness in marriage are super ideas for many people. The woman waits from marriage some fairy tale and her wishes coming true.
It is a great delusion. First of all, there is nothing magic in life together. It is life, it is different, sometimes it is happy and sometimes it is a problem. It is just life together. Think over these words. There is a deep sense in them. Life together means to live and to save your inner space and inner world; it also means to share it with a partner.
Life together doesn’t cancel the values of every partner tasks, his dreams and desires. If you live together you have to help each other to make life more full, conscious and happy.
Myth #2. Many women’s expectations are often bounded with the desire of understanding and full division of emotions. They say, “We should be extremely open with each other”. It is the second delusion. The extremely openness looks like life under the bright light of projector. It’s impossible to live in bright light all the time, you will begin to feel tired and annoyed. So the second thing to realize is to give some freedom to each other in family life.
Myth #3. One more stumbling block is a woman’s desire that man should solve all matters. But when he starts to solve them of course in his own way, there is a storm. If the rights to make decisions are in the man’s hands you have to obey them. It is an important thing to be consistent in the relations.
Myth #4. Women link a desire of security with marriage. It touches the property and social position. But even so they feel shy to discuss financial conditions of the marriage. Some women are afraid of marital agreement. Hypocrisy which is involved in a fairy tale about romantic love will prevent to build honest partner relations. It is important to discuss such questions if you are going to live together and to born children. You must discuss all the things that are really important, because, meal, clothes, sport and some other things are really important for our life. Every woman should speak about them with her husband, not with friends or somebody else.
What should you do?
The first variant:
You can remain a staunch supporter of traditional patriarchal relations between a woman and a man. At least you will meet your man of course. But if you real life will differ from a fairy tale you will see in marriage.
The second variant:
- You should get up of sweet dreams about past and to look bravely to the changing world.
- Try to separate social attitudes and mass hysteria from the world of your own desires and views about modern relations between man and woman.
- It is important to define your expectations from the relations with man, which will answer your real requests.
- For harmonic relations of two personalities it is necessary to understand that you mustn’t think that another person is your property.
- Remember that you never live with the same person you were married to. He will be constantly changing. Women have identity crisis not as often as men.
So as you can see, it is really important to understand the reality of family life and marriage. Of course every person will have his own problems and joys, but the general problem is the same for all. We do not think about the real things and problems before marriage and wedding.
About the author: Though Sarah Hall is a young girl, she has recommended herself as a talented and experienced blogger and creative writer. Her range of interests focuses on leadership, marketing and web design. But this young author is able to express interesting thoughts on other topics. More information can be found at Sarah's Google+|classycustomwriting.com
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