This is a domestic violence memoir. It is written by an author who recounts her own domestic violence at the hands of her ex-husband. She challenges the way that the teaching of male headship is done in the Christian Church, and makes the case for mutuality in a Christian marriage. Ruth A. Tucker, the author, has a PhD. from Northern Illinois University. She has taught mission studies and church history at Trinity Evangelical Divinity School and Calvin Theological Seminary. She has written dozens of articles and 18 books, including From Jerusalem To Irian Jaya. She begins her memoir with an Introduction. She writes 12 chapters in all. Each Chapter opens with a relevant and notable quote. Each chapter ends with a brief poem. She closes this memoir with an Afterword, and Acknowledgements of those who made this book possible. Then she wraps it all up with Notes from sources she consulted for each chapter.
This book was not what I expected. I thought it was going to be mostly a momoir mainly about her experiences. Tucker actually doesn't say much about her ex-husband; she describes her abusive marriage as a Christian marriage. Her ex-husband was a pastor. Instead, the book seems to be mostly her reflections and findings about domestic violence. She occasionally refers to or weaves in her own experiences. Maybe she has to be guarded if her ex-husband is still alive. I don't know. She does a good job of bringing in some church fathers in relation to their view of Biblical feminism. She stresses that the submission the Bible commands is mutual submission between wife and husband, not wifely submission to husbands. She interprets the Biblical command of wives to submit to husbands, as a cultural matter. Biblical feminism seems to be the central theme of this book. I was disappointed that the author raises the bar on what she calls abuse, to appy to only physical abuse. I know that the word abuse has to be used responsibly, or the word becomes meaningless. Tucker raises the bar on what she defines as abuse, to severe physical abuse. The title of this book is too long, though I think I understand the intent behind it. I found this book mildly interesting but as I was disappointed at the narrow definition of abuse, I think the book will resonate only with those experience severe physical abuse, or those who want to help them. I know of other books on abuse which are much more informative and helpful. Some of the theology in this book is questionable, though I agree that pastors and Christian leaders have failed married couples. They have failed them by not clearly defining the roles of wives and husbands. They have failed to teach men how to love their wives. They have especially failed to teach wives about what Biblical submission is and how to apply it.
Because of this author's questionable theology and narrow definition of abuse, I hesitate to recommend this book to many women facing difficult marriages. Or to husbands. I do recommend it to pastors and Christians who are sound in their faith and can discern Biblical feminism as it relates to Scripture. I recommend this book to Christian men who are sound in their faith to learn about physical abuse and control from a female point of view. I received a complimentary copy of this book by BookLook Bloggers, in exchange for my honest review. I was not required to give a positive review of this book.
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