Everyday Ways to Prevent and End Child Abuse

          If you use social networking sites regularly, I'm sure that you are hearing and reading about organized, elaborate, once-a-year projects and events for the purpose of child abuse awareness. These events and projects are sponsored by corporations, nonprofit organizations, groups and many, many individuals, including high-profile child advocates. To me, all the time and money being poured into these massive efforts are well-meant and no doubt involve much planning and massive support from the masses who believe that by their spport that they are making a dent in a deep-seated, profound social evil. An evil that originates in human hearts and in the home. But for all these massive efforts to get people all fired up about large-scale child abuse awareness events, all this comes off as the "Super Bowl" of child abuse awareness and sends a confusing message. This message is that, to really make a "significant" difference, we have to organize, form committees, arrange large-scale events or projects and raise and spend massive amounts of money. We believe that all this is needed before people will get down to the nitty-gritty of doing many everyday things to prevent and end child abuse, which we can do. Is it true that we need all this?
           Whether we need these large-scale efforts or not, this blog will give you practical things that all of us can do on a daily basis to prevent and end child abuse. I'm giving you a number of everyday tips for to prevent and end child abuse but I'm sure that you can add to my list.
          Screen anyone whom you allow to babysit your children, especially if they will be doing so regularly; Interview your candidates and if you can afford it, run a background check on them. Ask them for references, and call these references!
          If you are standing in line in any store and you see a mom with young children, allow them to go before you.
          Always put your child's name on the inside, not the outside, of his or her clothing or possessions to protect their privacy and to keep any predator from being able to find out who your child is.
          If you have very young children or children with special needs and who may wander, install a lock on screen doors, especially the front door, to prevent wandering.
          If you have children who use the Internet for social networking, monitor what they do online. Do not let underage children (under age 13) set up accounts with Facebook, You-Tube, My Space or any other social networking account. If you can, encourage them to hold off using social networks until they reach age 18! There is too much drama there are too many bad guys in cyberspace.
          You are justly proud of your child's achievements and you want to "show off" your child. But the eyes of predators are also on the lookout for easy prey. Therefore, refrain from putting bumper stickers on your windshields that proclain, "My Child Is an Honor Student" or "The Proud Parent of an Eagle Scout" or anything else that calls attention to your child.
          Befriend a single mother. Single mothers, with all their stresses, are at-risk for becoming overwhelmed and so abusing or neglecting their children.
          If you are expecting or are pursuing adoption, ensure that you have a solid support system in place, especially if you are a single parent, have a disability, or other challenges. This support will reduce the stress of parenting and your temptation to neglect or abuse your children.
          Your beautiful children are the apples of your eye. But if you use social networks, be aware that predators lurk in cyberspace. Therefore, minimize uploading photos or videos of your children online. And I strongly discourage giving out their full names. Among all the good folks on social networks, online predators lurk and we never know where they hide.
          We need to overcome our inhibitions and talk to our children about sexuality and sexual abuse and how to protect themselves from it.
          Do not discipline a child in anger.
          If it is for you, volunteer to be a Court Appointed Special Advocate (CASA) to be a voice for abuse and neglected children. Visit the national CASA website at: http://casaforchildren.org/.
          Appeal to legislators to put many more tax dollars on anger management classes and parenting classes in public schools, at the high school level. Ask them to reduce the algebra and higher math requirement. After all, what skills do high school students need for life?
          Try not to ever let your child walk home alone, even to or from school or a friend's house. We have heard too many time the terrible things that happen to children left unattended!
          If you are a new and especially young mom who is petrified of your new parenting responsibility, you do not have to resort to killing! You have the option of leaving your baby with a responsible adult, or take your baby to a local police station or a local church. Many infertile couples would love to adopt such a baby!
          Child identity theft is on the rise; a child won't know about this form of abuse until he or she applies for a job, a loan, an apartment to rent or for other goods or services. Do not give out your child's Social Security Number unless needed to obtain a good or a service for him or her. And don't share your child's full birthdate with anyone you don't know well. And if you are tempted to use your child's Social Security Number for any reason, don't! Identity theft ruins lives!
           If you have emotional baggage from a troubled past, whether you are a parent or not, try to work through your issues with a psychologist or a psychiatrist, a counselor or a pastor or some other professional. In this way you will be empowering yourself to meet your child's emotional needs with-out expecting him or her to meet yours. And by all means do this if you are a child abuse survivor and be empowered to break the cycle of abuse.
          If it is for you, run for political office, making children's rights your political platform.
          If you grow overwhelmed as a parent, get help. So many cases of abuse, including child abuse deaths, happen because frustrated parents resort to abuse or neglect and abuse goes bad, ending in the child's death! Walk away, pray, call 1-800-4-A-CHILD (1-800-422-4453) or 9-1-1 or find
other alternatives to abuse.
          Child sexual abuse is a big part of child abuse but we don't want to talk about it. But we have no option but to talk about it or it will continue. Silence helps and empowers child molestors!
          If you struggle with a substance abuse addiction, especially drugs or alcohol, you must get professional help! Substance abuse sets you up to abuse and neglect your children. You still love them very much but your "need" to feed and sustain your addiction is even stronger. And you will stoop to anything to keep your habit going, even if it means becoming an abuser. It is so ugly to see this happen!
          Raise your children to learn to manage their anger and to resolve their conflicts without resorting to violence.
          Men, take responsibility for the children you father, even if you are not married to the mother! It is so unfair to get girls pregnant and then leave them alone to raise your children. Such mothers, because of their stresses, are at-risk of abusing and neglecting their children. And if you are married, do not leave the job of parenting to your spouse. Parenting is a team effort.
          If you know or suspect that a child is being abused, do not be silent. Call 1-800-4-A-CHILD (1-800-422-4453) or 9-1-1.
          So many cases of child abuse and child abuse deaths happen because of wrongful court decisions in child custody cases and because of a broken system. There is no easy answer to this but we need to talk about this. We need to contact those in power to spend more money to protect children who are in the system.
          Spousal or partner abuse can and often mushrooms into child abuse. When we talk about preventing and ending child abuse, we also need to talk about ending these other forms of abuse and work to prevent and end all forms of abuse against anyone of any age.
          If you are able to do so, adopt a child. You may be rescuing such a child from an abusive or neglectful home.
          Strongly discourage your older or adult children to not date or get romantically involved with anyone with violent tendencies or who are registered sex offenders. So many children are abused and even die because of a parent's wrong choice of a partner!
          Sign a petition to toughen child abuse laws in each of the 50 US states: http://www.change.org/petitions/we-demand-changes-to-child-abuse-laws-and-sentencing.
          This is not a complete list but you get the concept. There are simple (not easy) actions that we all can take if we are serious about preventing and ending child abuse. And yes, in addition to implementing these things into our lives to protect children, you can feel free to become part of organized events to focus awareness on child abuse and preventing and ending it. One such massive campain is called the Army of Angels, which is a co-alition of corporations, organizations, groups and many individuals, to focus awareness on child abuse for the month of April. This campaign has the endorsement of  well-known child advocates and its information is exploding all over social networks. To find out more, you can visit the website http://armyofangels.biz/
           The website for the Childhelp organization provides many ways you can get involved, including their 24/7 hotline, material where you can educate yourself about child abuse, look into volunteer opportunities,, and even a participate in a forum where you can share your survivor stories of overcoming abuse. Such stories empower survivors and help people break the chains of abuse in their own lives. And, of course, if you have financial resources, you can donate and help them in their mission. Check out their website: http://www.childhelp.org.
           The epidemic of child abuse is so horrific that our awareness efforts can never be enough to address it. Now April is over and we are well through the month of May. Child abuse awareness events are just a start in addressing this epidemic and we need to use them to motivate us to do practical things to prevent and end child abuse daily.
           Child abuse is everyone's business!