Our Throwaway Culture

          For the longest time, the divorce rate, at least in the US, had stood at 50 percent; that is, if you "tied the knot," you would have a 50/50 chance to "untie that knot." Now, that divorce rate has risen to 60 percent. Statistically, this means that if you get married, you are rather more likely than not, at some point, to call it quits.
          Employers devise more screening tools to manage all the applications that cross their desks. One of these tools is the personality test; this effectively prunes applicants from the list which the employers has to deal with. You probably know very well what this means: You can work your rear-end off to make your application stand out to an employer so you will get thay interview, knowing that yours is only one of many applications to cross that employer's desk.
          CEO's see their profit margins drop and they see a need to do some pruning so their corporations don't go bankrupt. So what do they tend to do, short of filing for a bankruptcy? They look at all the employees who are costing them money and thet start pruning jobs and eliminating employees. The trouble with this is that behind every job is a person who needs that job just to survive and usually to support a family. Not only this, but but jobs often provide health insurance, a chance to meet people and self-esteem as one makes a contribution to society. All this is lost with a lost job.
          Many of us use social networks to connect with people. But according to my research, "unfriending" people is getting more and more common on Facebook. When we are offended or annoyed by an online friend's posts, is is easy to hit that "Unfriend" button or even use the "Block" option. In not even two years of social networking, hundreds of people in my network have hit the "Unfriend" button to get rid of me and some have hit the "Block" button. Among those who have dropped me include advocates, fellow church members, including a pastor's wife and youth workers, other local acquaintances and even some family members. I have been unfriended and blocked just this past weekend! On social networks, you can get rid of undesirable people with a few clicks of a mouse!
          More and more, without labor unions to protect employees, employers can terminate employees that they don't like or want to deal with for reasons know best to themselves. I've heard of too many people being terminated without disclosure or given vague reasons. This has happened to me and to some of my loved ones. Worst of all, if discrimination is suspected, it sometimes can't be proved. Sadly, employers find it easy to get rid of employees for disability-related reasons. The Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA) is meant to give a level playing field to qualified people with disabilities and it is having success. But the "undue hardship" clause in this legislation, meant to protect employers, can be overused as an excuse to fire people because of prejudice.
          In families, relationships often become ugly because of disputes over inheritances. When money becomes a factor in even the closest of relationships, it often changes the dynamics of the relationship. And when unprincipled, unethical relatives cheat loved ones out of their inheritances, this parts the closest of family members and turns them into bitter enemies. Always sad and heartbreaking, family members have been known to disown each other, to never speak again, and even to take each other to court! I know this from experience!
          Homelessness is heartbreaking and a good number of the homeless are war veterans. How many of these homeless are people are living in the streets not because they lack money but for more complex reasons? How many people are living in the steets because family members have ordered them to leave because they could not deal with them for one more minute, whether because of substance abuse, an unwanted pregnancy or some despised lifestyle? When I was attending a former congregation, some among us would reach out to one such woman who was seen to wander the streets because of being "thrown out" of her home. Of course, there are no easy answers to this.
          The ultimate method of getting rid of people is murder. Since 1973, girls and women, when faced with unwanted pregnancies, have had the option of "terminating their pregnances" available to them by law. The trouble with this option is that the thing being eliminated is not a thing at all but a live, conceived baby with all its DNA and a little being being "knit together" in the mother by its Creator. This "abortion mentality" has opended the door to people turning to murder, more and more, to get rid of "problems." When we become inconvenient, annoying, difficult or undesirable, we are, more and more, at risk. So many murders have, at the motive, the simple desire to eliminate a person for the killer's own reasons. Such murders are often staged "eraser killings" where the killer makes the murder look like a suicide, a mysterious disappearance or something other than what it is. Can this be why we have so many unsolved crimes and missing people? Chilling.
           Get the point? Ours is a throwaway society. Our method of dealing with problems and conflict is often just to "walk out" of the bothersome relationships and to end them. We often hear about and may even talk about, the virtues of real friendship and sticking together through think and thin, despite differences, disagreements, or adversity. But in reality, when relationships get inconvenient, annoying, burdensome, or merely boring, they become vulnerable to being discarded like trash. Instead of dealing with what's wrong in relationships, it's far too easy to end friendships, to change churches, to quit jobs, even to dissolve marriages. Our culture encourages us to leave relationships we no longer want to be in. The idea of "marriage for keeps," though it is Biblical and strongly encouraged in the Bible, tends to be dismissed as old-fashioned, outdated and unrealistic. Abortion is seen as socially acceptable by many people and is seen by some as a way to reduce poverty and other social ills by "thinning out our ranks" and reducing our numbers. When someone in our church home hurts our feelings, when we can't stand our boss or our co-workers, when a friend won't pay a debt, when an employee's work slows down, when an online friend posts controversial material, many voices will encourage us, "Get out! End the relationship! Eliminate your problem! It's your perfect right."
          In my own experience with this, people have, over the years and often, terminated their bonds with me, either because of misunderstandings, their unkind reactions to my differences, or my trusting them too readily and mistaking friendliness with ulterior motives with real friendship. Growing up, I went through seeing my parents divorce and I know many others who have divorced. I've already mentioned, in earlier blogs, about being terminated as a volunteer in several intances. I've already mentioned all the online friendships I've lost. Most recently, my membership for a certain movement and campaign was abruptly terminated by its Founder when this person found out about about one of my online posts which raised questions about the cost-effectiveness about the use of its funds. On the flip side of this, I have left certain social settings where I felt misunderstood or excluded.
           I know that there are times when we need to, or must, let certain relationships go and I'm not talking about these. But how can we be united unless we stand together and stick together through all the things that could divide us? This is especially important in our throwaway culture.
           On the reverse side of this, I find few things more inspiring than that of seeing people who have been married for many decades, sticking together through all manner of hardships, losses, challanges, conflicts and uncertainties.