Everybody knows the word “orphanage”. The so-called children’s home is the only place where abandoned children can receive some love and care from the other people.
Sometimes when family wants to take care about an orphan, they don’t really know how to treat themselves with such a child. And soon they can feel guilty that they do not take care of the new orphan relative in the same way compare to their own children. Or, it can be so, that in order to take care about the new child as best one can, they simply forget about their own children and it causes conflicts and offenses.
The adoption process is always hard and full of bumps in the road, especially in case of the international adoption. Sometimes parents are quite surprised when the child feels himself quite uncomfortable in their family. Give the child some time to realize that he can trust you and don’t rush the thing, because it’s a long process.
One of the chief factors of the parents is the awareness that this child is not a newborn and he has his own personality and character, that’s why it’s normal, when parents can’t immediately attach to their new child. Also add to that the disrupted sleep because of the new environment.
But what should you do if you don’t feel attached to the child? There’s one perfect phrase “Fake it till you make it”. You shouldn’t show the child that you don’t treat him as your own, because it can cause a depression. That’s why show the child that you like him be smiling, hugging and speaking to him in a positive way.
Give your new child his own place. The child needs to have his space, that’s why provide it for his toys, books, clothes, etc. That helps to develop organizational skills, responsibility and independence. Knock the door before entering; allow the child to decorate the room of his own. It’s very important to make the child feel that the new home is his own. Only then he’ll feel himself comfortable.
The other important issue for adoptive parents is accepting the existence of the real parents of the child and discussing it with the child. Such information should be shared with children according to their age and their level of understanding. The psychologists say that the full understanding of adoption begins from the age of seven.
If the child is of the different religion of the other nationality, you should respect it. Ask the child if he would like to celebrate certain holidays and learn about them. Sometimes children do not tell their new family about different national traditions and holidays, so before the adoption you should know everything about the traditions of your future child.
Some parents don’t agree with the specialists and think that much better not to tell children about the adoption, but the researches show that it’s not so. If the child lives with the feeling that he’s a native child and then he finds out that he was adopted, he can get depressed and even commit suicide. That’s why it’s really important to convey a positive image of the birth parents to the child. You should try to explain the child that parenting is a hard task and many people do not learn how to treat children well.
Sometimes the problems appear and you should know when to seek the professional help. Some adopted children may develop behavioral or emotional problems. Many of them were adopted from abusive homes and even drug dealer homes, that’s why it’s important to keep an eye on them and use the professional help in time. Stay in touch with your adoption agency, because the agency can refer you to the certain psychologist who will speak with members of your family and determine who need the treatment.
If you’re only going to adopt the child and you don’t really sure about your powers in taking care and education, you can visit different seminars and read articles devoted to this topic. Parenting is a hard work requiring responsibility, especially when it comes to adopted children. But they are only children and none of them deserves the lack of attention and love.
About the author: The author of this article is Melisa Marzett. She is an active person, interested in different spheres, but today she decided to cover such a topic because she’s a volunteer in an orphanage and she really cares about the problems of abandoned children. You can ask her any questions at Google+. Also, if you want to see the other Melisa’s works, use classy essay writer.
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