Showing posts with label Murdered Persons. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Murdered Persons. Show all posts

Friday, July 26, 2013

Created Equal: What Do We Really Mean?

Those of us who have followed the case of the Trayvon Martin death investigation, saw that it took peaceful protests and a Change.org petition to bring charges against Martin's killer, and then followed the trial, have taken note of the painful lessons from that case and an acquittal that many disagree with. The deep divide that this case has caused, which was deepened by the "Not Guilty" verdict, indicate that many people do not see that the inequalities that exist in our entire system, toward those who are marginalized. This includes those who are poor, disabled or belong to minority racial or ethnic groups. This case is not just about racial inequality but also about the use of guns but it shows that there are deep inequalities in the justice system. This was seen in that the victim, Trayvon Martin, was vilified and maligned as I have not seen any other victim be maligned, not only during the trial but to this very day. Martin was as much on trial as was his killer, Zimmerman; the verdict of "Not Guilty" only deepened the conviction of many that Trayvon's Martin's life was not seen is as valuable as that of a Caucasian person if they had been killed in that same scenario. Martin is now seen as a symbol of how many minority, poor and other marginalized persons are not always treated as equal. That is, the system does not often go by the famous "All men (and women) are created equal."

           Here are fictitious (but true to life!) instances of this same painful lesson that came out of that above-mentioned trial:

          A boy from an affluent home shows learning and behavior problems so his parents take him to professionals, who research his issues. He is diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome; he is sent to the finest private schools where he receives top-notch services. Today he is a respected, successful writer. His peer, from a poor family, also shows similar learning and behavior issues. His single mom takes him to a professionals, who conclude, with little research, that this boy is "emotionally disturbed" and has a "personality disorder." He is sent to public "alternative" schools with watered-down curriculums, learns little, loses hope and, unemployable, he falls into deep depressions and enters the mental health system.

          A pretty teen from an wealthy family vanishes. Her dad and other relatives, blessed with the resources to keep her story in the media, keep her case high-profile; she's found alive months later and today is successful and much-esteemed. Another, younger girl, from a poor family, vanishes at about the same time. Her family lack the resources and support to get her any media attention. Today, years later, this girl is still missing.

          An affluent woman is diagnosed with cancer and is, of course, quite upset and distressed. Her mom tells her about a top-notch cancer treatment center in a nearby state. As money is not an issue, this woman and her family move so she can take advantage of this center's excellent care; today she remains cancer-free. Another woman, who uses government-funded health insurance, also is diagnosed with cancer and also is devastated. However, she "freaks out," as most health care providers and doctors won't take her insurance due to lousy government re-imbursement. After much searching, she finds care but not before her cancer has spread.

          In a wealthy city, you can find a private neighborhood where the streets are gated, crime is very low, people drive fancy cars, children can play in the streets, people can ride bicycles and homes are large, beautiful and well-built. Nearby, another neighborhood features many small, crumbling, drab "dumps." Crime, including drug dealings and violent crime, are commonplace. Drivers don't stop as this is a public neighborhood; children dare not play in the streets or people ride bicycles.

          A celebrity begins a Facebook account for self-promotion. He has very little trouble "adding" people to his page, thanks to his name recognition. His product sells very well. His peer, an "ordinary" man, who is seeking justice for his brutally murdered sister whose killer is up for parole, also sets up a Facebook account. Desperate to raise awareness about his sister and to get support, he seeks to "add" people to his page. Multiple times, Facebook warns him of "abusing" it, blocks him from adding other users (longer each time) and finally de-activates his account. He has to "start all over again" to shore up enough support to circulate a petition to the parole board to keep the murderer in prison.

          A boy from an affluent home attends the finest private schools, gets a top-notch education and, after graduate school, he starts up a business that soon becomes hugely successful and has made him a billionaire. His peer from a poor home, equally bright and talented, goes to mediocre public schools, drops out and sees little hope for his future. Desperate, he turns to drug-dealing to get his cash.

          A celebrity is accused of a brutal murder; he is able to afford a "dream team" of high-powered, fast-talking lawyers. He is acquitted. His peer is accused of "assault on a police officer" without evidence. Unable to afford a private lawyer, an overworked, underpaid public defender is assigned to his case. After a short trial, this guy is sentenced to years in prison and to years of parole upon release.

          A bright, motivated, well-trained woman with epilepsy applies for the career of her choice, having prepared her resume and done all she could to make a good impression. To "keep it real" and avoid being accused of dishonesty, she discloses her epilepsy on her application. She never hears back; it takes her months to find a job. Her peer, a nondisabled person, equally prepared, lands a job with little trouble; self-disclosure and discrimination are not issues.

           A caring, respected, bright, well-educated woman, diagnosed with autism and epilepsy, is unable to conceive and searches out agencies, hoping to adopt. She discloses her challenges but feels that her credentials would more than make up for her disabilities. Wrong. Agency after agency turn her down. Her peer, without disabilities, and also possessing a good reputation, a big heart and an education, easily is approved and soon her empty arms are filled with a beautiful baby and, months later, with another baby.

          For each of these example there are many more instances of inequality and there are many other examples that I could have given. We often hear the phrase "All people are created equal." But I wonder, judging from every area of our system and from our culture and actions, if we actually believe this. We can see the way that resources are so UNEVENLY distributed in every area of society and culture, in health care, education, the criminal justice system, our social class rankings, our wealth and income distribution and in our social relationships.

          Yes, I know that when it comes to functioning, we are definitely not equal. There are those in positions of power and authority who tells us what to do and can make decisions for us that affect our lives. There are the greater number of us who must follow their orders and live with the consequences of their decisions. There are our lawmakers who create our system and the rest of us who must live with this system that we did not create. There are the "1 percent" of the "Wall Streeters" who own and control most of our wealth and the rest of us who may live in decent comfort, struggle to make ends meet or exist without enough to eat or clothe ourselves. There are the majority of us without disabilities who are pretty much able to live and function as we wish. There are those who disabilities, visible or invisible, whose impairments greatly limit their options in many areas of life and who must live with limitations. And on a world scale, there are those of us in North America who own (or at least experience) most of the word's wealth. And there are many, many more people on the other side of the world, who often exist in deep poverty, hunger, want and destitution; many, including children, die of hunger or disease.

          Yet we are all created equal in personhood, when it comes to being. This truth is not only according to our own experience but according to the Scriptures. We all have the same basic needs for safety, food, clothing and shelter. We all want to be happy and to be loved. When we are hurt, we all inwardly are stung. Our bodies bleed when we are cut. We all get sick. We laugh when we are amused (and maybe uncomfortable). We cry when we are heartbroken. We feel guilt when we have done wrong. We all are born. We all will die. According to the Bible, we have all sinned and we all need a Savior; we all have equal access to God's grace and favor though faith in Christ.

          But it is because of our inequalities in functioning and our ignorance, prejudices and intolerance, that cause so many of us to treat each other as unequal persons not just in functioning but as unequal persons also in personhood. Even in churches, where our congregations formally claim to serve and worship a God Who has created all of us as equal, we see exclusion, snobbery and cliques. I can say this from experience because I have experienced these at the hands of fellow parishioners; I'm sure many other people can share similar stories of their experiences in churches. Yes, I know there are many wonderful people in every congregation but even people of faith are human. And I see cliques and exclusion on Facebook, where many in my social networks talk only to each other and ignore everyone else. Cliques, snobbery and exclusion are when people stick only with those who are "their kind" and ignore everyone else.

          Over a year ago, I saw this status update on Facebook, "All people are created equal." Underneath this status, a person commented, "Too bad they don't stay that way." This blog has been my lament of this person's comment on the status. Actually, it seems that we all start out as equals in that we come into the world "in our birthday suits" and we become equal, one again, only when we leave the world, to slip into eternity and stand before our Creator and answer to Him about what we have done with our lives.

          This is the core of what adversity, sorrow and tragedy do for us: They re-enforce the truth that we are indeed created equal. But as many of us survey the recent Trayvon Martin/George Zimmerman case, we wonder if even tragedy does this for many of us.  We need to change hearts as well as laws that are on the side of the more fortunate and privileged rather than in favor of marginalized persons.
     Photo courtesy of MorgueFile.com Photo by Richard b This photo can be found here

Wednesday, July 25, 2012

Survivors

Survivors. A title so many of us use to give meaning and validation to our lives.

Survivor. A person who has experienced adversity, loss, and/or obstacles and is overcoming them.

Survivor. A person who has suffered and has eternal scars, things that we can see and observe.

Survivor. A person who has internal scars that we cannot see or observe but which are very real.

Survivor. What have you been a survivor of?

You have/are suffering the fear, anxiety and trauma of a missing loved one, not knowing where that loved one is, what has happened to that loved one, or even if your loved one is alive or dead.

You have experienced being diagnosed with cancer and are dealing with the fear of what will happen and an uncertain future and with pain and even financial worries of health care.

You have suffered the devastation and loss of a loved one at the hands of a murderer and you have a new mission in life, finding justice for that loved one and keeping your loved one's memory alive.

Whatever we are survivors of, we have known pain, loss, grief, maybe shame, devastation, even helplessness and the loss of the will to hope or live.

But we are not victims. We are survivors. By God's grace we can heal, persevere, forgive and become better, stronger people, using our experiences for the help of others.

I may wish that my life experiences had been different, that I had done things differently or that God had not made me as He has; I may still feel regret, shame, guilt, fear, anger, and loss.

But I am a survivor, and God is using my life experiences to make me what I am becoming today; He has a purpose for my life beyond what I may see and above and beyond what I can imagine.

I am a survivor and I'm free to become what God wants me to be, whole, strong, caring, loving  and forgiving.

You have known the indignity and cruelty of being sold for someone else's greed into a trade where you have have had to do things that no one should ever be asked or made to do; we call it human trafficking.

You have, as a child, been violated and told to keep it a secret and not ruin reputations; even today, you may never have told anyone because you fear not being believed or when you did tell, you have not been helped; you are one of the estimate 65 million US survivors of child sexual abuse.

You became pregnant as a teen and since no one wanted you in that condition, you were forced to abort your baby and were not even allowed to grieve; even today you are haunted with shame and guilt which you dare not share because you know you will be condemned by most people who don't understand God's grace.

Whatever we were survivors of, we have known pain, loss, grief, maybe shame, devastation, even helplessness and the loss of the will to hope or live.

But we are not victims. We are survivors. By God's grace we can heal, persevere, forgive and  become better, stronger people, using our experiences for the help of others.

I may wish that my life experiences had been different, that I had done things differently or that God had not made made me as He has; I may still feel regret, shame, guilt, fear, anger, and loss.

But I am a survivor and God is using my life experiences to make me what I am today; He has a purpose for my life beyond what I may see and above and beyond what I can see or imagine.

I am a survivor and I'm free to become what God wants me to be, whole, strong, caring, loving  and forgiving.

You have suffered the terrifying experience of being abducted, heing held against your will, wondering when you will see those you know and love, being violated, being brainwashed and maybe even resigning yourself to your fate, believing you will never be rescued.

You married a person with anger issues who had learned to resolve conflicts with fists; your partner or spouse uses you as a whipping post, controlling your money, isolating you, even hitting you and threatening your life.

You have suffered the unspeakable grief of losing a loved one to suicide; everyone, including you, are suffering not only agonizing grief but also guilt at wondering if somehow you could have prevented it.

Whatever we are survivors of, we have known pain, loss, grief, maybe shame, devastation, even helplessness and the loss of the will to hope or live.

But we are not victims. We are survivors. By God's grace we can heal, persevere, forgive and become better, stronger people, using our experiences for the help of others.

I may wish that my life experiences had been different, that I had done things differently or that God had not made me as He has.

But I am a survivor and God is using my life experiences to make me what I am today; He has a purpose for my life beyond what I may see and above and beyond what I can see or imagine.

I am a survivor and I'm free to become what God wants me to be, whole, strong, caring, loving and forgiving.

You grew up in a very dark place with illnesses of the mind where you thought and acted in ways that were a total mystery to yourself and those around you; you lived and still may remain your closet, in fear, guilt and shame and in terror that you will be found out and be stigmatized by all.

You grew up experiencing a condition called epilepsy and seizures; you have spent your life covering up your condition, even calling it and your seizures by other names and going to great lengths to hide it, including your medications and covering up the side effects.

You grew up being called stupid, spoiled, lazy, clumsy, and were placed in schools that stigmatized you for life; you grew up with shame and feelings of guilt and worthlessness, hopelessness and wondering if there would ever be a place for you; all this was because your autism spectrum disorder (ASD) was never properly diagnosed.

Whatever we are survivors of, we have known pain, loss, grief, maybe shame, devastation and even helplessness and the will to hope or live.

But we are not victims. We are survivors. By God's grace we can heal, persevere, forgive, and become better, stronger people, using our experiences for the help of others.

I may wish that my life experiences had been different, that I had done things differently or that God had made me different from what He has; I may still feel regret, shame, guilt, fear, anger and loss.

But I am a survivor and God is using my life experiences to make me what I am today; He has a purpose for my life beyond what I may see and above and beyond what I can imagine.

I am a survivor and I'm free to become what God wants me to be, whole, strong, caring, loving and forgiving.

You grew up in a home where you were neglected, too much was expected of you, or you may even have been hit, beaten, threatened, and where you felt the helplessness and hopelessness of an abused child; even today you may still be haunted by your trauma and wonder if you can trust anyone.

You grew up with a parent (s) who loved you but whose substance abuse addiction overpowered their love; you were neglected and may have even seen or been abused; you felt anger, fear, shame, loss, and hatred for your parents.

You grew up in a home with a parent who used you for his or her sexual pleasure; you feel shame at what has happened to you, helplessness at preventing further abuse, and anger at your other parent for not coming to your rescue; even today, you stay in your closet because you fear that you would be judged or not be believed.

Whatever we are survivors of, we have known pain, loss, grief, maybe shame, devastation and even helplessness and the loss of the will to hope or live.

But we are not victims. We are survivors. By God's grace we can heal, persevere, forgive and become better, stronger people, using our experiences for the help of others.

I may wish that my life experiences had been different, that I had done things differently and that God had made me different from what He has; I may still feel regret, shame, guilt, fear, anger and loss.

But I am a survivor and God is using my life experiences to make me what I am today; He has a purpose for my life beyond what I may see and above and beyond what I can imagine.

I am a survivor and I'm free to become what God has made me to be, whole, strong, caring, loving and forgiving.

You were in a terrible car crash and were left with permanent disabilities where your loss is as real and as painful to you as the loss of a loved one would be; you have lost a carrer you loved, so-called friends, a way of life, even your old identity.

You lived through a terrible disaster, man-made or narural and you suffered the shock, devastation and loss of a way of life, a loved one, even permanent physical injury; whatever you have lost, you can never forget.

You are a veteran, serving your country and you have done and seen things that no one but your fellow vererans can understand; you may be home but the war still may be going on here for you as you can never be the same person, emotionally or physically, that you were before you left.

Whatever we are survivors of, we have known pain, loss, grief, even shame, devastation and even helplessness and the loss of the will to hope or live.

But we are not victims. We are survivors. By God's grace we can heal, presevere, forgive and become better, stronger people, using our experiences for the help of others.

I may wish that my life experiences had been different, that I had done things differently and that God had made me differently from what He has; I may still feel regret, shame, guilt, fear, anger and loss.

But I am a survivor and God is using my life experiences to make me what I am today; He has a purpose for my life beyond what I may see and above and beyond what I can imagine.

I am a survivor and I'm free to become what God wants me to be, whole, strong, caring, loving and forgiving.

You grew up in poverty and want, with a good but uneducated mom who had to use government assistance and you and your family were among the "less fortunate" and seen as charity; often your only source of nutrition was the free lunch school program at your public school; you had to struggle to get an education and then a job but you did it.

You grew up with disabilities, visible or invisible, where what is easy and taken for granted by everyone else has always been a struggle for you; you may wonder why you have been put on this Earth, why God has made you as He has; you want nothing more than to be accepted for who you are and to be allowed to be independent, productive and valued.

You grew up as the target of peers who plugged into your vulnerabilities and who bullied you extensively; the adults in your life did not handle your situation well and you felt that you were not heard, that you did not have a voice and that you did not count; even today, you may have a tough time trusting people and their motives.

Whatever we are survivors of, we have known pain, loss, grief, maybe shame, devastation and even helplessness and the loss of the will to hope or live.

But we are not victims. We are survivors. By God's grace we can heal, persevere, forgive and become better, stronger people, using our experiences for the help of others.

I may wish that my life experiences had been different, that I had done things differently or that God had made me differently from what He has; I may still feel regret, shame, guilt, fear, anger and loss.

But I am a survivor and God is using my life experiences to make me what I am today; He has a purpose for my life beyond what I may see and beyond what I can imagine.

Survivor. What if our lives had been easy, pleasant and fun and only good, wonderful, exciting things happened to us with nothing to survive?

Survivor. If I had unscarred by life, I would never be able to develop the virtues of compassion, wisdom, patience, courage, forgiveness and perseverence.

Survivor. I may have been led to believe that I am doomed to lasting failure, and to repeat the mistakes of the past.

But I am not a victim. I am a survivor and I'm free to break the cycle of abuse, addiction, failure and other realities that may have been my life.

I am a survivor; God's grace has brought me through, caused me to over come and to continue to overcome until healing is complete.