Victims and Responsibility

Recent or current court cases have contributed to the debate over what we mean by what it is to be a victim and how responsible individuals or for their actions. In the recent George Zimmerman/Trayvon Martin case, the US and indeed and no doubt much of the developed world, has been divided over who the victim was in this case. The supporters or George Zimmerman have concluded that he was the victim, basing their views on the idea that Trayvon appeared "out of the blue" to brutally attack Zimmerman and for no reason at all. The supporters of Trayvon Martin base their views on the idea that Martin was followed, racially profiled and shot because of his skin color. The jurors in that case agreed with Zimmerman that he was the "real victim" of the unprovoked attack of a "thug" and "gang happy," troubled boy who "had it coming to him." This six-women jury's verdict still divides us because so many of us disagree with their conclusion over who the actual victim was in that case. Prior to that, both the public and a 12 person jury, overwhelmingly concluded that Travis Alexander was an undisputed and absolute victim, despite his now-convicted murderer's futile efforts to convince the jury that she was the victim and so not "so responsible" for her crime. Thus the Jodie Arias verdict is far less divisive than the George Zimmerman verdict was.

I read and, more recently, re-read a book on the case of the tragic double murder of homeschool parents, DESIRE TURNED DEADLY, because an 18 year old boy was livid over a confrontation with the parents of his 14 year old girlfriend. Kara's parents, devout Christian parents, were angry when they learned of their underage daughter's romantic relationship, calling for a confrontation with David. As a result, David shot both parents to "have them eliminated" and Kara entered his car with him, and an Amber Alert was issued as it was unclear if she was a victim, a "hostage" or not. When they were found, it was believed that she "may not be a victim after all, and 14 year old Kara was herself investigated. While Kara was totally cleared because of how laws were written in the state of that case, it shows that we all agree that being victims reduces (and often totally eliminates) our responsibility for our actions and at least in the eyes of the law. In an older case (which I'm not familiar with but have only heard of) a 19 year old boy was infatuated with a 14 year old girl and murdered a couple members of her family. She took off with him and he went on to kill more people. Like her older lover, she was sent to prison for many year until she was paroled. Cases like these, as well as others, illustrate how the degree that one is considered responsible for one's actions as to one's possible involvement in the wrongdoing of others. That is, in they eyes of the law. In the eyes of God, according to Scripture, regardless of how much of a victim we may be, we are ultimately responsible for our actions.

Today, it is very fashionable and "in" to claim to be a victim or a survivor of some adversity or another. In fact, this practice has been in vogue for decades, for quite a few years ago, I had read a book called A NATION OF VICTIMS. The author made valid points though I felt quite unsettled by much of what he asserted, and I'm sure that many, maybe most, who have read that book would be similarly affected. Indeed, we should take to heart the fact that these terms have been widely abused by many of us to duck responsibility for our actions, to gain sympathy or attention, and/or to reduce or even eliminate expectations of us or consequences for our misdeeds. It is also politically correct to never blame a personal called a victim, for anything done when victimized. "Playing the victim" is a derogatory and accusatory remark directed at anyone who is seen as "whining" about his or her "lot in life" or "bad luck."

In the recent, highly publicized court case, we who have been even casually following it have noted how the defendant, Jodie Arias, has been claiming to be a victim/survivor of both child abuse and of intimate partner violence. Her claims have been exposed as false by prosecution character witnesses, by the prosecution expert psychologist and by two siblings of Travis, the murder victim. In the penalty phase of the trial (resulting in a mistrial for that phase), in profoundly moving, powerful victim impact statements, Steven and Samantha Alexander paid tributes to their murdered brother, what he meant to them and how his terrible loss has devastated every area of their lives and the glue of their family life. In this case, the defendant, Jodie, has been claiming abuse, as a child and as an adult, to avoid responsibility for her actions and their consequences via gaining sympathy from the jury who had not bought her story. We know this from their "Guilty of First-Degree Murder" and "Unusual Cruelty: Proven" verdicts in the guilt and aggravation phases of this trial. In short, Travis was a total victim and Arias's trial verdict proves that most of us agree that she is totally responsible for her actions.

This causes me to ponder and address the issue of autism and how this abuse of the words "victim" and survivor" have created a backlash against those in the autism community and against many in the larger disability community. Let me illustrate. The accusation is often made that many in the autism community use the autism diagnosis to evade personal responsibility. This accusation is made, often, of parents who seek (and get) the autism diagnosis for their children. "You just want people to feel sorry for your child," "You want sympathy for yourself," "You are looking for excuses for your poor parenting," and even, "You are looking for an autism diagnosis to get government benefits for your child." This same accusations is often made of adults who seen an autism diagnosis later in life. It is for this reason, among others, that there is still controversy about neurological conditions with behavioral symptoms, like Autism Spectrum Disorders and Attention Deficit Disorder or Attention Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder and other such conditions. Parents are sometimes accused of using their children's diagnoses as "chemical babysitters" or as "substitutes for good parenting" when medications or therapies are used as treatment options. I know people, including doctors, who believe that Asperger's Syndrome/High-Functioning Autism don't exist and are "pop psychology fads."

There is also the practice of inducing false memories of child molestation, which is extremely scarring, with psychological effects which stay with its survivors for life. There have been cases of parents who have lost children to false allegations (whether of false memories or other things) to false accusations of child molestation. Workers with child contact have also lost their jobs for the same reasons. We all have read of numerous women who have brought forth false rape accusations against men. Many years ago, I read a book by a woman, called FORGIVE ME, who did just this; as a result of her Christian conversion years later; she recanted her story to free the innocent man who was sentenced for a rape he never committed.  As I remember, she had reported having survived a horrible childhood. Any of us who even casually follow the news, hear of false rape accusations. Why are such accusations made? It is no doubt because the false accusers want sympathy and attention, as our society sympathizes with victims of rape, whether in childhood or as adults. Often these sort of people are trying to deal with unmet needs (often horrible childhoods themselves) in inappropriate or downright wrong ways.

We all are aware of how many, many scams are brought about by playing on our compassion and generosity, whether you are talking about people falsely claiming to be cancer victims to raise money for themselves or are talking about numerous scams exploiting community tragedies to profit off misfortune. Many years ago, a woman claimed to be a 911 survivor, actually became a leader among 911 actual survivors, and raised money for this community and attracted much sympathy and accolades for her supposed "courage" and "strength" for all the "horrors she had survived." This was until one person was observant enough to see that this lady's story did not "add up" and after checking into matters this lady was exposed as a fraud. In recent years I have known of a number of women who had claimed to be cancer victims and had garnered much public sympathy and donations. Many people falsely claim to be victims, whether of natural causes like cancer, or of unnatural causes like rape--all to get attention, sympathy, even money.

Yet this very frequent practice of falsely claiming abuse, whether to get money, attention, sympathy, or to evade society's expectations or consequences, backfires. It causes a backlash against genuine victims and survivors of traumas. Those who are truly victims, whether of any form of abuse in childhood or adulthood, become more and more hesitant to share their stories and to make police reports. This is because they do not want to become re-victimized through not being taken seriously or believed or blamed for their victimization. This practice of false victimization has spawned a recent petition to create legislation calling for criminal background checks on all those who come forward about abuse. And then think of the devastating effect false abuse allegations have on those whom they are made against, destroying reputations and putting innocent people in jail, prison, and even on Death Row. While we are rightly admonished by child advocates to report even suspected child abuse, we are wise to ensure that we are able to back up our reported suspicions with a statement, an action, an incident, that is a basis for our suspicions.

True and actual victimhood does not diminish our responsibility though it lessens it and makes our actions more explainable. We so often see this in countless people who have survived childhood or adult adversity and have emerged to become positive, strong, caring, even successful. I have heard it said, several times, that "Prosperity is a more severe test of character than poverty (or adversity) is." The Scriptures, over and over, from cover to cover, tell us that spiritual growth comes through suffering. We know this because of how so many recent tragedies have brought whole communities together, whether weather disaster, shootings, bombings or other tragedies. The one perfect Person Who lived, Jesus, also suffered more than any other human during all the events leading up to His trials and His death in what is known as "Holy Week." Throughout that time alone, Jesus suffered the betrayal of a very close friend, eventual desertion by all His friends, false accusations, mockery, injustice, and every form of abuse in its most severe form. He suffered extreme physical, emotional, and spiritual pain. This all means that we do not have to be prisoners of out pasts and also, that we cannot use even actual abuse to excuse our misdeeds. This holds true whether we are talking about medical conditions where we have reduced control over our behavior, like Autism, or life events, like abuse or illness. Photo courtesy of PicDrome.org. "Rain Drops on Glass"