Stigma

          There are some things we just don't talk about, sometimes not even with our own families. When these things are mentioned, we tend to get uncomfortable, cringe, sidestep these issues by calling them other names or changing the subject or skirting these issues altogether. It is called stigma and is defined as as possessing a personal trait that society doesn't value, discredits or even despises. Stigma results in  codes of silence that allow secrets to fester and that allow many of out social problems to continue. It results in the stigmatized individuals often keeping silent out of shame and fear and believing lies.
          In the past, cancer used to be stigmatized and was not talked about, but thanks to courageous celebrities and others who began talking about their own battles with various cancers, we talk about it openly and this has opened the door to reaching out to cancer victims/survivors and fundraising and other efforts to prevent/end cancer. Today, we feel free to say the word cancer and to talk about our own experiences with it. Teen pregnany used to carry a horrible stigma, and teen mothers were forced to go into hiding and secretly make adoption plans for their unborn children. Or if they chose to parent their children, as my mother did (she was 16 when she gave birth to me), they faced many hardships and their children often grew up fighting differences in learning, behavior, and other differences and often were tracked into lives of lasting disadvantage. But thanks to efforts to set up pregnancy services to those facing unplanned pregnancies and through laws making adoption more attractive to such people as well as to prospective adoptive parents, such a stigma has much decreased. And the outcomes of people with unplanned pregnancies and their children today are much better than they were for my mom and for me in the 1960s!
          The stigma remains against HIV AIDS, though through awareness and advocacy, society has come to realize the origins of this condition and that it can happen to anyone. But much more needs to be done in this area and with reduced stigma and contined advocacy and awareness, we have much more of a chance to prevent/end HIV AIDS. And much more needs to be done for HIV AIDS prevention worldwide and for many children who have so tragically lost their parents to AIDS. And the stigma contines for epilepsy, even though it has lessoned a little. However, because of the continued stigma and the code of silence in talking about it, advocacy and fundraising efforts are being hindered as well as the attitudes of the public. Efforts continue and advances and scientific discoveries continue to be made. In an earlier blog post, I discussed my experience with epilepsy and stigma; I know many others can tell similar stories. If you want to include obesity (being over 20 perecent overweight) as a medical condition under this discussion, we all know there is definitely a stigma against anyone who is obese in many different ways and in society's attitudes toward the obese person. (No, I do advocate that if people have it in their power to prevent/end obesity, they need to do so, for the sake of their own health, as obesity carries many health risks.)  Often people do "eat themselves" into this condition, but many others are obese for complex reasons, including medication side effects, glandular conditions, especially of the thyroid, certain medical conditions and more. As people come to see that the causes of obesity are often complex, the stigma of obesity should keep decreasing.
          Mental illness definiely carries stigma; its stigma may not be quite as bad as in the past, thanks to the fundraising efforts and advocacy of brave individuals who have come forward to talk about their experiences with different forms of mental illness. But the stigma remains. The "insanity defense" and the high-profile true crime cases which have involved criminals with suspected (or actual) mental illness, have worsened this stigma. Though I realize the need to expose such crime cases and others to society to keep us safe, the media need to present these cases in such a way so as not to prepetuate the myth that most people with mental illnesses are dangers to society. Actually, most people with mental illness are more dangerous to themselves than they are to society; most of them are harmless. It's true that when people with certain mental illnesses don't take their medications or are not diagnosed properly, they as individuals may become dangers to others. But in most cases, most need to be protected from themselves rather than need society protected from them. In my first blog post, I mention my experience with misdiagnosis and being ""treated" with psychiatric medications which actually resulted in my becoming psychotic. I entered the world of those with mental illness for months; it was awful and traumatic!
          Abuse or crime, especially domestic violence in any form and sexual abuse, carry stigma even though many brave survivors and advocates have come out with their stories and this has lessoned the stigma somewhat. Witness how difficult it is for us to bring up the topic of sexual abuse with our children, while we know that we must do this to empower them to protect themselves. There is a wealth of resources for victims/survivors of various forms of abuse or crime; however, more needs to be done and I predict it will keep being done as we see victims/survivors of abuse or crime keep sharing their stories, and advocating. The same holds true for various addictions from substance abuse to eating disorders to harding to other addictions; as people keep coming forward to share their stories, we can talk about these things and people will be empowered to, over time, overcome their addictions.
          There is a stigma attached to neurological conditions like autism, Asperger's Syndrome (and to a lesser degree, to general learning disorders, ADD, ADHD, Tourette's Syndrome, among others). In one of my first blog posts, called "What is Autism?" I have told about my own lifetime experience with this and with being wrongly diagnosed, given treatments I did not need and often being sent to schools that added to my stigma. And I discuss much of the anguish I have suffered, how it has affected my quality of life and its effects on me to this day. I'm thankful that special education and education, in general, as well as scientific discoveries, have much improved since my childhood, teen years and young adulthood. But there remains a hidden, "lost generation" of people with undiagnosed conditions who today languish in jails or prisons, remain unemployed, or exists on the fringes of society, including among the homeless. Some fortunate individuals have been able to get diagnosed properly as adults and have carved out niches for themselves (ex., Liane Willey-Holliday and Stephen Shores) but most are not so blessed. Much more needs to be done to bring healing and hope this this "lost generation" through advocacy and research.
          The stigma of suicide is well-known. Sadly, I have known of pastors who have stated that they would not conduct funerals of families of loved ones who have ended their lives or who will not grant families assurance abut the eternal fates of their loved ones. My position is that God, while He is indeed infinitely holy, is also infinitely loving and merciful and that He does not see things the way that humans do. And the stigma affects families of troops or veterans in the US who have ended their lives, as for many years, they have not even received letters of condolence from the US government.
(Thankfully, the government is addressing this). Thanks survivors telling their own stories and to the advocacy of groups and organizations, the stigma of suicide is decreasing. But it is still there and more needs to be done. 
          The stigma of being lesbian, gay, bisexual, or transsexual is well-known. Whatever our own fellings about sexual orientation and what religious convictions we have that affect how we see homosexuality, those with different sexual orientations from the norms are human beings with the same rights as any of the rest of us. Even those with religious convictions about God's plan for our sexuality must see that He, in His infinite holiness, sees sins of jugmentalism, self-righteousness, hate, prejudice, bigotry, and other "respectable" sins with the same sadness and displeasue as He does sexual sins, which are well-known and do not need mentioning here. Sin is sin and when we see that God treats us all the same, stigmatizing because of sexual orientation is just as evil as stigmatizing for any other reason. Another reason we must end this stigma is because of the many people who silently struggle with same-sex thoughts even in churches, even against their convictions. The last things such people need is to be lectured or judged! They need safety and support and this will never happen as long as this stigma remains. This issue needs to keep being talked about.
          I can go on and on about stigma, but it is the reason so many of our social problems which we deplore, continue. It is because people "don't talk about these things" in the hope that by ignoring these issues, they soomehow will go away on their own. But there are many wounds that no amount of time will heal. We must talk about them and we must deal with them.