Saturday, July 14, 2012

How Long?

     Many single people ask this as they wait for that desired someone special to share their lives with, often seeing no one in sight who seems to be "right" for them. Meanwhile, the passage of time continues.
     Many would-be adoptive parents ask this as they put in their applications to adoption agencies and then are often made to wait for months, even years, for an opportunity to adopt a baby or child who is a "good match" for their particular home lives.
     Many people, unable to be employed for some reason or another, ask this as they go through the long process of being approved for Disability benefits, even having to use attorneys to help them get the benefits need for them to just survive.
     Many families with missing or murdered loved ones ask this as they wait for months, often years or even decades, until their loved one comes home, they find out what has happened to that loved one, or they see justice done for that loved one.
     Many people waiting for organ transplants ask this as they wait for often long periods of time, until they find someone able or willing to donate the organ they need that will be the match for them, just so they can live.
     Many millions of people of faith, worldwide, ask this as they suffer through the pain and traumas of severe religious persecution, with seemingly no end in sight. Often, no options for them exist except to stop boldly practicing and sharing their faith, which most refuse to do.
     Many families with nonverbal children, because of severe autism or other related disabilies, ask this as they wait to hear their children say their first word and reach other milestones where everyone else takes for granted.
     Many patients with long, lingering illness ask this as they suffer through pain and agony, often in spite of medical treatment, wondering when their suffering will ever end.
     Many infertile couples ask it as they seek the taken-for-granted but (for them) elusive state called pregnancy, or undergo (if blessed with $$$ or good insurance) treatments designed to help them "make a baby."
     Many couples and individuals, unable to afford decent housing unassisted, ask this as they go on often long waiting lists, for months, years or even decades, waiting until word of a housing opportunity for them.
     Many people ask this as they wait, often for months, to see in-demand specialists who are essential to taking care of their particular needs.
     Many families and individuals dealing with special needs, especially those which are stigmatized and misunderstood, ask this as they wait for society to educate themselves, to understand that God has made all people equally precious, and to be more accepting and welcoming.
     And I continue to ask this as I keep being made to wait and wait until I can contact a qualified, affordable person who can give me a professional opinion as to a past (and often present) that can lay to rest many unanswered questions.
     It is called waiting and I'm sure that there are others who are waiting for many other things to happen that I have and will not be mentioning here. Waiting is not something that any one of us enjoys doing. I know that I dislike waiting, often outright hate it, depending on what I'm being made to wait for. Waiting means that we don't receive what we want on our own timetables. It means putting off, benefiting, and getting to enjoy something that we often need or yearn for, often intensely. But waiting is really a "survival virtue." We are always waiting, waiting, and waiting.
     All of life is waiting or a "waiting game" as it has been called. Unless we live in some cave somewhere, we are often being made to wait in lines, wherever we go or what we do. We wait for traffic, we wait in lines in stores, we wait for appointments with our doctors or others. And this kind of waiting continues to be required of us even in this day of fast food, microwave ovens, text messaging, instant messaging and social networking. Our culture des not encourage patience. Another word for patience is "longsuffering," according to the King James Version of the Scriptures. And what is the only way to be patient or "longsuffering'? It is simply this, to suffer long, to undergo the often agonizing process that we call waiting!
     Many of us who are not affluent or wealthy, and who live from paycheck to paycheck or who live on fixed incomes, know very well the frustration and sometimes the agony of having to wait to make much-yearned-for, even needed purchases, or to take advantage of much-desired opportunties until we get paid again. We are not able to spend money when we want to and often when it is convenient or best. For poor people, waiting is a way of life.
     In my opinion, summer is an exercise in patience if you don't have the resources to spend on traveling for recreation, camping, swimming, or other summer activities. Summer is an exercise in patience of you are a parent with active children who are home from school for the summer, especially if you cannot send them to camp or afford other summer opportunities for them. And summer is an exercise in patience if people whom you have been counting on for some reason, limit their summer availability because they are able to and "take off" for the summer. "I'm ready for Fall to be here already!" a couple of people in my family have recently said. "I can't wait for summer to be over!" one had posted on Facebook. In my comment, I had heartily agreed, adding, "It gets tiring when people take off for the summer and become unavailable." And then there are children from many poor families who wait for the school year to begin so so they will, again, have access to sometimes the only nourishing food they eat, through their school's free lunch programs. And summer is an exercise in patience for many charities and congregations as they wait for Fall to arrive, when people typically give more and are less likely to pour money into vacations and other summer activities.
     It is often said that the most common answer that God gives to prayer is not "Yes" or "No" but "Wait." Circumastaces reveal how true this is! I'm sure that almost all of us who pray can tell stories about how it has taken many years, even decades, before we have seen answers to many of our prayers. This certainly holds true for long-term, complex needs and desires. And even in these days of communication and technology, we still have to have patience with these devises when they malfunction and are "down" for some reason or other. And on social networks, we still have to have patience with people who, even online, limit their availability. It can be feel awful to wait for things when the need is urgent or the desire is powerful.
     I know that even in my petition campaign, I find it a test of patience as I wait for many more people, both online and offline, to show more openness to educate themselves about autism so they can and will support my efforts. I wait to gain the attention of celebrities and others of influence, who can add their voices to this campaign and transform it into a movement (and it is movements which gain the attention of those in power). And I find my patience tested as I wait for the person (s) who can assist me with the marketing which can make it all happen. In my personal life, I continue to wait and endure my feelings of not fitting in anywhere and of not being validated and "not knowing," as I wait until I can contact a qualified, affordable person who can grant me a professional autism spectrum disorder (ASD) workup. This is something that I have been waiting for for decades. In my family, we are waiting for the settling of pending legal matters as well as complex, entrenched, personal issues to be resolved among relatives.
     Most children don't start out life patient, grasping the idea of delaying gratification. It is something that must be learned with growing up and many people never learn this quality. And if we don't, we can lose friends, spouses, jobs and other opportunties. When I write on this topic, I'm talking to myself as much as I am to anyone else. I don't like waiting for needed or desired things any more than anyone else does. Waiting does not have to be passive; there is such a things as "active waiting." In my situation, I can still keep circulating my petition in every venue that seems appropriate. And I can still keep raising autism awareness as I wait for others to "see the light" and for my own ASD workup. And whatever we are waiting for, whether it is to lose extra pounds, find a marital partner, settle a court case, see a missing loved one be brought home or find justice for them, resolve marital or relationship issues, or whatever, we all can do things as we wait. These things can make the waiting more bearable. Reaching out and connecting with others in similar situations is something that really helps and which I have seen over and over, in real life and online.
     How long, by the way, before I see that many more of you are taking the time to read my posts and even comment on them?
   
    
     

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