My Thoughts On The Aurora, Colorado Massacre and other Such Crimes

    This Friday,  if we have even been casually following the news or using social networks or surfing the Internet recently, we have seen contantly seeing and hearing nonstop coverage of the tragic shooting in Aurora, Colorado. In this shooting of dozens of people, 12 people, including 1 infant and one 6 year old child, have been murdered. And 71 people have been wounded. Sadly, this shooting has not been the only shooting, including in Colorado's recent history. Over 10 years ago, two deeply troubled boys, Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold, brought to their Littleton, Colorado high school, pipe bombs and guns. Their plan to "do in" their high school classmates at Colombine High School was a year in the making ; they had shot many students, killing 12 students, one teachers and then killed themselves.
     These two massacres are only examples of mass murders that were carried out by people whose pent-up frustrations and hurts reached a boiling point and spilled over into desperate acts. Rather than find a constructive means to to release and vent their frustrations and rage, they chose to take these out on innocent people. Feeling desperate, futile and hopeless, they turned on people who had nothing to do with their original pain, being willing to sacrifice innocent people and destroy many lives, including their own families and their own.
     The the needs and traumas of the victims, survivors and families are quite obvious, always and absolutely, every time something like this happens. The lives of all those affected are forever altered and they can never forget or "get over it." They have been handed life sentences of nonstop emotional pain and, in some cases, physical injury or permanent disability. In every such heinous crime, the victims were simply going about their ordinary daily lives , whether this be going to school, going to work, or anywhere else where people typically go. They happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. And then they were stopped in their tracts and met with "the grim reaper" of death by unnatural, man-made means. Their lives were cut short. Their families, friends, communities and their nations were taken by surprise and traumatized. Always when something like this happens, we ask: Why? What motivates a person (s) to end the lives of innocent people who were doing nothing to them? Why?
     We have often hear certain motives cited as reasons that people commit heinous crimes like this. I'm talking about stored-up hurts and pent-up rage at the feelings of feeling not accepted, insecure, marginalized, and not belonging anywhere. The shooters could not stand it anymore. They felt that they had no other options and they wanted to strike out at someone, anyone. Maybe their very planning of their crimes (as the Columbine gunmen has planned their acts) was motivated by some twisted urge to end the boredom of their lackluster lives and gain attention as "monsters." In the minds of such people, I guess, even this kind of negative attention, even prison, is better than no attention or feedback at all.
     Yes, over and over, since this happened, I have been seeing one post after another on my Facebook page, often with candles pictured, calling for prayers for the survivors and victim's families. On TV, I have heard both Presidential Candidates and talk show hosts and guests, voice their sorrow over the tragedy and call for prayers for the families of victims and the survivors. Yes, depending on our circumstances, we should all convey our support for survivors and victims' families and help in any way we can, addressing their obvious needs. They did not in any way deserve what has happened to them. And what has happened to them, as it has rightly been pointed out, can happen to any of us. What if you were in that theater? What if I were in that theater? What if one of your loved ones had been in that theater? What if one of my loved ones had been in that theater? And, sadly, this is probably not the last massacre or heinous crime we will hear about or, God forbid, experience.
     Yet in all the outpouring of support, sympathy and prayers for all of the victims and their families, I believe that there are some things that are easy to overlook or fail to see. I'm not in any way condoning the actions of criminals such as this 24 year old young gunman who is responsible for this latest massacre. We are all responsible for our actions, regardless of our circumstances or stresses.
     When I ponder the motives for so many mass shootings and other crimes being that of feeling marginalized and unwelcome in society, abused or bullied, or not belonging anywhere or having any purpose in life, I must share something. That is, because of what I have experienced in life because of
misdiagnosed differences, bullying, emotional abuse by adults and more, and the emotional scars of it all, I can in some ways identify with these perpetrators. And I'm sure that there are many other people that, if you are honest, will have to agree. The only thing separating those of us from such offenders is that the grace of God has preserved us and enabled us to turn to constructive means to release our frustrations and heal ourselves. And I have heard some of these issues being addressed on a number of talk shows. It is called prevention, reaching out to people BEFORE they feel desperate enough to feel the need to commit such crimes.
     What would set the stage for someone becoming the sort of person who would stoop to commiting heinous crimes born of rage because of unmet needs? It is easy to write perpetrators of heinous crimes as Evil Incarnate or as "mental cases." But, at one time, all of even the worst criminals were trusting, harmless, innocent children. Do not mistake my meaning: Being a survivor of a sad childhood or of traumas as an adult, does not doom people to lives of crime or failure! But let me give you the anatomy of how it seems that a person can get so deperate as to turn to killing.
     You have always felt unloved. You have a history of failed relationships. You lose jobs. You cannot make a marriage work. No one wants to do business with you because of your lousy credit history or black marks on your record. Your parents may not have loved you as you needed to be loved. You feel misunderstood by all. You feel that you have no one to turn to to vent or share. You feel that there is no purpose for your life. So, over time, you either numb these feelings through eating disorders or substance abuse or you act out. You act out your desperation depending on your personality. If you internalize your feelings, you may turn your anger inwards and end your own life. Or you may turn your anger outwards and end the lives of others or harm them in other ways.
     And here is why I tell you why my petition on behalf of the autism community is such a passion for me. For I have experienced and to some degree, continue to experience, many of the feelings described in the above paragraph. This is so often the case, that even when people's needs for support services, understanding and acceptance go unmet, even because of ignorance, an unwelcoming society will experience consequences. That is, such people, unless they turn to addictions or end their lives, will tend to visit their anger on society in the form of crimes, even violent, heinous crimes. My petition focuses on adults with autism, because of the fact that autism is still a new field and because of my personal experience. Many people with autism (as well as others with other neurological conditions or mental health issues) are more at-risk than typical people, of becoming victims or perpretrators of crime.
     What solutions are there to tragedies like this? Love your children. Model and teach empathy and compassion. Befriend those who are lonely. Don't tolerate bullying. Welcome those whom society often marginalizes. Seek to end the stigma of mental illnesses. Break your cycles through reaching out to people, getting counseling, and/or advocacy for others who have faced your plight. Take it seriously when people say that they feel like misfits, unwelcome, or unloved. Educate yourself about hard-to-understand and stigmatizing conditions. And sign my petition at: http://tiny.cc/mrsahw. The possibilities for solutions are endless. As someone once said in my social network, "We need to love each other better."

http://www.rachelschallenge.org
This website is for a nonprofit that has been founded is is run by Darrell Scott, father of Rachel Scott. Rachel was one of the Columbine shooting victims and had lived a life of compassion and reaching out to others, especially to others who were new to her school, who were bullied, or who had disabilities. Darrell Scott's mission is to keep his daughter's memory alive through carrying her message and legacy of compassion and empathy everywhere he can. His team, including some of Rachel's siblings and others who were touched by the Columbine massacre, assist him in carrying his daughter's message around the US and outside the US. This website offers practical ways to prevent mass shooting through living lives of deliberate kindness.