A Love Story Out of This World

When I was growing up, in St. Louis, MISSOURI, I remember when Valentine's Day came one year. I was so afraid I would get left out and not get Valentine's Day cards or candy! I said to a classmate something like, "I hope I get lots of Valentines today!" She retorted, "Lisa! Don't tell me you're greedy!" That remark disconcerted me: Does longing to be including and knowing that you're treasured and loved constitute greed? Maybe it was the way that I voiced my desire that provoked her scolding, but what longing does this time of the year bring out in us? Don't advertisers and merchants use our longing to trump up business and increase their profit margins? Doesn't our longing keep dentists in business with all the dental damage done to our pearly whites as we heed the message?

What's the Fuss About This Day, Anyway?

I know that not everyone likes Valentine's Day. It can be downright hurtful or triggering to others of you. If you are single and don't have a "special someone" in your life, or have experienced a partner breakup, will you like celebrating a day focused on love? I doubt it. If you endure a bad marriage and are just trying to survive, or have suffered a divorce, will you want to celebrate a day set aside for lovers? I don't think so! Just like Christmas, we often use this day to teach our children to think of themselves as consumers, as we believe that, to show our love, we have to get "valentine's Day" for our children. Commercials and retail stores put guilt trips especially on low-income individuals and families. "Give your Valentine the best and give a gift she won't forget!" "Come to our store or place an order at our website to make your Valentine's day unforgettable!" "Every Valentine wants a dozen roses! Get them!" Not only are people being put on guilt trips to "get that perfect gift," but we're being told what that gift should be! Really?

How Do We Define Love Today?

Yes, love Our culture has clear ideas of what love is. It's a noun, and it's something that happens to us. A feeling that takes us by storm. "If it feels good or doesn't hurt anyone, do it," Love means never having to say you're sorry," or "Forget doctrine, just love Jesus." Yes, culture is right in recognizing family love and the love between real friends. Yet culture has watered down these forms of love by giving us the idea that if a relationship become "toxic," to just dump the "toxic" person and "move on" to a new friend, a new spouse, a new partner, or a new church. Our culture celebrates love in popular song, but if you listen to the lyrics, you'll discern that the love usually being extolled is eros or sexual love. At the risk of sounding hopelessly "old-fashioned" and "behind the times," but my Bible tells me that sexual love, or sexual intercourse, is designed by God to flourish in the context of marriage. Today, our extolling eros has resulted in unplanned or unwanted pregnancies, countless abortions, sexually transmitted diseases (STD's), and countless ruined lives and broken hearts. What is love, anyway?

What is Love?

Someone defines, exemplified and lived love. He did it before St. Valentine's legacy inspired this day. Who is this Someone? God. How did He do that? He showed us, by His precepts and by His example, that love is not a noun, but a verb. It's not driven by good feelings, but by self-sacrificing behavior and commitment. He exemplified love by giving up His heavenly wealth and privileges for a time, and, in Christ, you may know very well what He did: He came to Earth and became one of us, lived a perfect life among imperfect people, and finally dying a horrible death in our place (then returning to life again!). You probably know that He tells us to love Him with all our mind, our soul, our heart, and our strength, and our neighbors as ourselves. We're even told to love our enemies! His definition of love is counter-cultural, and also often runs counter to our self-centered natures and our feelings. It usually costs us something in time, convenience, comfort, money, even our reputations or lives. Love is hard stuff but proves rewarding, though rewards may come to us much later than we'd like to see. All of us who call ourselves His followers struggle with His idea of love, which is called agape. Self-sacrificing love. We can find the power to love this way by trusting our lives to Him Who loved us first. Loving HIs way would make this world far better, and can be done every day of the year, not just on Valentine's Day. What do you think of that?

My best to you on this Valentine's Day!

Sincerely,

Lisa DeSherlia

The above photo is courtesy of MorgueFile, is by "Melodi2" and can be found here.

History of St. Valentine's Day

St. Valentine