WHEN IS IT RIGHT TO DIE? by Joni Eareckson Tada

WHEN IS IT RIGHT TO DIE? is an updated book about death and dying from a Christian perspective. It is nonfiction. Joni Eareckson Tada, the author, begins her book with a Preface and Special Thanks, which are acknowledgements for those who helped make this book possible. Tada spreads her content across three sections and ten chapters. She follows this with an Epilogue and an Appendix of the Hippocratic Oath. Then she ends with Notes citing sources used to research material for each chapter. Tada is the CEO of JONI AND FRIENDS, an organization that provides and spiritual help to those with special JONI AND FRIENDS also equips churches in helping those with disabilities. Tada has written numerous books, which include WHEN GOD WEEPS and one among several memoirs, THE GOD I LOVE.

This is not light, entertaining reading. It's about death, dying, suffering, disabilities, and illness. The author, Joni Eareckson Tada, knows by experience what she is writing about. She has been paralyzed from the neck down for decades. She has faced infertility and has never been able to bear children. Nor has she apparently been able to adopt. She and her husband, Ken, model true love and marriage. I really admire them. Recently, Joni has fought breast cancer. I have read many of her other books and heard her on radio. So her conservative but well-informed and deeply spiritual worldview, as reflected throughout this book, did not surprise me in the least. I did not realize she faced breast cancer until I read this book. Though this book is serious and profound, it is interesting and greatly encouraging and motivating. This is one book I do not want to give away or donate.

I recommend this book for anyone concerned about death, dying, disabilities illness, or depression. All pastors, counselors, and any church leader working with people should read this book and apply its lessons. There are plenty of books dealing with sanctity of life issues as they apply to the beginning of life. There are fewer books focusing on the sanctity of life as it pertains to end-of-life issues. This is a must read book and it is for all people 18 and over. A youth version of this book is needed.

I have received a complimentary copy of this book in exchange for my honest review. I was not required to give a positive review of this book.

I AM by Michele Cushatt

This is a reflective book. It is supposed to be a sixty-day journey to biblical self-discovery. The author begins her book with Acknowledgments and then an Introduction. Then she spreads out her material in sixty short chapters. Each chapter begins with a corresponding Bible verse. And each chapter ends with questions, meant for personal reflection and application. Each chapter starts with "I Am----" and ends with with a trait of the person God says we are in Christ. Michele Cushatt is a successful speaker and author. She shares how complicated the intersection of faith and real life are. She speaks for Women of Faith, Compassion International, Focus on the Family, and Hearts at Home.

I have gotten done reading this book. To me, it is 65% memoir and 35% prescriptive. Cushatt embeds so much of herself and her life experiences into this book that I don't feel I can relate to her. I CAN relate to the emotions that she shares she has dealt with. As a person who has dealt with infertility, I had a hard time reading about some of her adventures with her full houseful of children. And as a person who has wanted to adopt but didn't find it an option, it was tough to read of her own experiences as an adoptive mom. As Cushatt shares, she has had much success in life. And it took her bouts with cancer to make her see that that our success and/or failures don't define us. But reading this book from my filter, it seems to be geared to middle-class readers and higher. This irks me with Christian resources in general. What about those with disabilities, low incomes, minorities, and others who may not feel they can relate to, frankly, middle-class trials? (Disclaimer: Cancer is excluded. It strikes people of all classes!) This author does a great job of making God's grace and love real to the reader. She doesn't omit mention of His holiness, but it isn't her focus.

I recommend this book for Christian Women. This is her target audience. Cancer patients and survivors, especially, may find it meaningful. The author may consider writing a youth version of this book. And she could adapt it to speak to the issues and concerns teenagers and young adults face.

I received a complimentary copy of this book through in exchange for an honest review of this book. I wasn't required to give a favorable review of this book.

THIS Disease, Not Cancer, Should Scare Women Most

Breast Cancer. Ovarian cancer. Cervical Cancer. Endometrial cancer. Cancers of all kinds. Cancer is a word that strikes fear into any of us, but there are cancers that strike mostly women. Though much awareness, fundraising, and government intervention, we have come a long way in beating much cancer. Yes, we still have a long way to go. Women, often fear female cancers more than any other disease. Our worst nightmare is going to our doctor, only to be told, "You may have breast cancer (or another cancer)" and to be positively diagnosed. Yes, cancer has killed many women and still does. We should do all we can to eliminate the risk factors that we can control, such as our eating habits, and get check-ups and cancer screenings.

Yet there is something that we women should fear even more than all cancers put together, and more important, work to prevent and end.

What Should Women Fear More Than Cancer?

What is more of a threat to us than cancer? Heart disease! Did you know that heart disease kills more women than all cancers combined, once we women reach menopause? Yes. In our reproductive years, our estrogen protects us, in part, from heart disease. But when we finish menopause, our risk equals that of the risk that heart disease poses to men of all ages. We need to educate ourselves about heart disease and how it shows up in us women. At the end of this article are sources where you can educate yourselves and others, and spread awareness. Experts tell us that symptoms of impending heart attacks may look different is women than in men. Studies indicate that women are less likely to survive heart attacks.

My Story

In my case, heart disease prevention is something I have to pay attention to. I have a family history of heart disease. I believe that heart disease probably killed my biological father, and my mom is concerned with her heart because of her awareness of heart disease in women. Heart disease killed from maternal grandfather, and may have played a role in my maternal grandmother's death. They are not the only family members whose heart disease killed them, or is believed to. Myself, I was born with a genetic condition, Marfan's Syndrome, which affects the heart's aorta (the heart's largest artery). I'm not unique in having a family history of heart disease. I know that many, many others, including women, have this too. If heart disease is in your family history, it is something that you should not ignore.

Being Part of the Solution

Preventing heart disease is simple common sense. Yes, there are heart disease risks that many of us have no control over. We can't control family histories of heart disease or, as in my case, genetic conditions that cause or can cause heart disease. But there are many things we can do. To prevent heart disease in ourselves, we can increase our regular physical activity, eat healthy, low-fat foods, and avoid stress as much as humanly possible. We can educate ourselves. To fight heart disease as a public health crisis, we can raise awareness and support The American Heart Association. We should applaud the First Lady Michelle Obama's efforts to prevent future heart disease in children by encouraging schools to provide healthy lunches and promote physical exercise.

Yes, we should do all we can to fight cancer and prevent it, especially if it is part of our family history. But we women need to take heart disease every bit as seriously as cancer. With common sense lifestyle adjustments much heart disease can be prevented.

Go Red For Women

Womenheart

Women and Heart Disease

The first photo is courtesy of MorgueFile, is by "Borro" and can be found here. The second photo is courtesy of MorgueFile, is by "clarita" and can be found here.

What Is The #1 Killer Of Women? Not What You Might Think!

Breast cancer. This word inspires much fear in most of us and so there is more awareness of this cancer than just about any other cancer, and breast cancer causes, events, literature, and resources are very popular and high-profile. Indeed, over the years, a tremendous amount of time and money have been poured breast cancer awareness; many women (and a handful of men, as men can get breast cancer too) have come forward with survival stories and have deservedly heralded for theiir courage and strength. I know that lots of time and money are also poured into other cancers but I don't see that happening to near the degree that I see it with breast cancer. When any cause is personal to us, we are natually more passionate about it than any other cause because we can relate to it. And so when people survive a known killer or lose others to it, it naturally moves them to advocacy and action. I have seen more causes and posts, especially on Facebook, on breast cancer than on any other cancer. I have recently gone to a Wal Mart and I have even seen a Breast Cancer Awareness Bible in the Inspirational Books section! And that is the first Bible of this kind that I have ever seen. There is even a click-to-give site devoted to breast cancer alone. many businesses will sponsor fund-raising campaigns, not to mention numerous nonprofits. And we all know about the famous "Susan G. Koman Race for the Cure" and the Susan G. Koman Foundation. Even Christian bookstores have become aware of this form of cancer, as shown by a few books, such as one titled, "When God and Breast Cancer Meet."

Believe me, if breast cancer were the only killer of women, I would not begrudge it all the resources, time and tireless advocacy efforts that have and continue to be poured into it. But sadly, breast cancer is, by far, not the biggest killer of women! When I write this, I know that, when you experience a trauma or an illness, no matter what it is and how much awareness it ends up getting, it is never enough.

What is this #1 killer of all women, especially of women past menopause? It is heart disease! Yes, it's true and at the end of this blog I will provide sources where you can verify this grim and unsettling fact for yourself. Now, we are all well aware of heart disease in men because, traditionally, doctors and other health experts have always taken heart disease in men seriously. Men have been taught to fear heart disease and cancer. I have heard it suggested that a reason that women have been led to fear breast cancer much more than heart disease is not only because it is life-threatening, but because of the cultural idea that the breast is the symbol of female physical beauty and so when that is threatened or gone, many women are devastated. And the fear is not only loss of physical beauty but also the fear of losing attactiveness to spouses or partners as represented by the loss of the perceived symbol of this beauty. A threat of the loss of physical beauty is seen as somehow, in my opinion, as more immediate and more real than the loss of life itself. Also, we typically fear the treatments for breast cancer or other cancers, such as chemotherapy or radiation. Heart disease in women does not seem as threatening because no threat to female beauty is seen as associated with it. Heart disease just seems more mundane, no doubt because, in the free world, it is so commonplace as a cause of death. I have seen far fewer resources and much less awareness about heart disease in women than I have seen about breast cancer. By far! There are very few fundraising efforts about it, few businesses sponsoring any such and few causes devoted just to women's heart health. This is so unfortunate, for no doubt it is undiagnosed heart disease that kills more women than any of us know of. I'm not aware of how much training docors receive in medical school or during their residencies, concerning how to prevent, diagnose and treat heart disease in women (Remember, the female body is not the same as the male body and doesn't this also apply to the female heart?). And so doctors tend not to take symptoms of heart disease in women as seriously or dismiss any female concerns as being "stress," "nerves, or even "PMS"! I think part of all this is because womenhood, itself (pregnancy, menstruation, premenstrual syndrome, menopause) as almost become a disease itself and has been medicalized.

Health experts tell us that when women get heart attacks, symptoms might show themselves differently from those seen in men. And they also tell us that women are more likely to die of heart attacks than men are. So it seems to me that all women and those who care about them, need to be every bit as concerned, maybe more so, about heart disease than about cancer. However, a few years ago, I did see an Oprah Winfey talk show about women's heart health and so I give her credit for awareness, as one of the few high-profile people who have addressed this issue. Many more resources and much more advocacy and awareness need to go into women's heart health, diagnosis, treatment, and especially prevention. The government have done precious little in this area, including legislation or funding concerning women's heart health awareness, no doubt because because of the lack of of advocacy and awareness of citizens, including women. And health experts tell us that older women, at menopause, are every bit as vulnerable to getting heart disease as are men. During the childbearing years, we women have estrogen, a female hormone, to give us some protection against heart disease. At menopause, we lose this estrogen, a source of heart disease protection and so the heart disease risk climbs.

I think that we all know that prevention is the key, as it is in most things, in fighting heart disease in both genders. And the methods of prevention for women as pretty much the same as for men: Eat a well-balanced, sensible diet that is low in fat, especially saturated and trans fats, exercise regularly, avoid smoking, control weight, cholesterol levels and blood pressure, try to keep stress at manageable levels, and more. So I won't go into any more prevention talk here, because so much has been said already. But far more needs to be done about the diagnosis and treatment of heart disease in women. If we women would fear undiagnosed heart disease and its likely consequence, death or serious disability, as much as we would breast cancer or other cancers, we may be more motivated to action to beat this #1 killer of women as well as men.Research tells us that young people of both genders need to be concerned about heart disease and things related to it, such as diabetes and stroke. These are striking people at younger and younger ages, just as cancer is. Yes, older people need to be more concerned about things like cancer and heart disease than the young, but younger people should not be complacent and should live "heart-healthy" lives.

In my family, heart disease, much more than cancer, has been the biggest killer. The women in my family, like no doubt so many other women, have never been diagnosed with heart diease though such a diagnosis and proper treatment may have saved many lives. I wonder how many more of us, like me, have a family history of heart disease rather than a family history of cancer. And a family history of heart disease should concern women every bit as much as men and we women should work as hard, as men, to reduce the risk factors for heart disease and heart attacks, that we do have control over. Through the media and literature, I have heard much earlier and much more frequently about breast cancer and the need for its prevention through doing breast self-exams and getting mammograms, than I have heard about heart disease in women and its prevention. This needs to change so undiagnosed heart disease will stop killing women.

February is "Go Red For Women" month, for the purpose of heart disease awareness as it pertains to women. Yes, cancer, especially breast cancer, as words, seem to strike more fear in the hearts and minds of women than the word heart disease does. And it is with good cause that we women fear cancer. It is scary. Heart disease tends to be seen as almost mundane by comparison. If there is a family history of it, as there is in my family on both sides, it may not motivate many of us to take steps to prevent it as much as a family history of cancer would. To illustrate, there are women who, aware of their breast cancer risks, have elected to get double mastectomies and I can understand and sympathize with the drive to take every precaution to avoid something that you are at high risk of experiencing if you do not take preventable steps to do something about it! We have no control over any family history of heart disease, but we have control over and can take action concerning our lifestyles, including eating right, exercising, and avoiding unhealthy substances and having regular doctor check-ups. If we would educate ourselves about heart disease in women (heart disease in men has far more awareness), and try to bring awareness to others, heart disease many not claim so many lives and shorten them. I'm glad that, at least in my local school district, schools make it a point to involve students in heart disease awareness through fundraisers. We need much more community efforts like this in every community and save many lives!

Because of this insufficient awareness and lack of resources,  there seem to be not many websites devoted exclusively to women's heart health, the rest of the resources being more a part of general sites. I hope that this one website will get many more views, as well as many shares. This is another part of lifesaving work.

Women and Heart Disease Website
Women and Heart Health

Comprehensive fact sheet page that answers many women's heart health questions
Women's Health Publications

Face sheet page with many links to resources
MedlinePlus/Heart Disease In Women Photo Courtesy of MorgueFile.com Photo by jdurham This photo can be found here.

Survivors

Survivors. A title so many of us use to give meaning and validation to our lives.

Survivor. A person who has experienced adversity, loss, and/or obstacles and is overcoming them.

Survivor. A person who has suffered and has eternal scars, things that we can see and observe.

Survivor. A person who has internal scars that we cannot see or observe but which are very real.

Survivor. What have you been a survivor of?

You have/are suffering the fear, anxiety and trauma of a missing loved one, not knowing where that loved one is, what has happened to that loved one, or even if your loved one is alive or dead.

You have experienced being diagnosed with cancer and are dealing with the fear of what will happen and an uncertain future and with pain and even financial worries of health care.

You have suffered the devastation and loss of a loved one at the hands of a murderer and you have a new mission in life, finding justice for that loved one and keeping your loved one's memory alive.

Whatever we are survivors of, we have known pain, loss, grief, maybe shame, devastation, even helplessness and the loss of the will to hope or live.

But we are not victims. We are survivors. By God's grace we can heal, persevere, forgive and become better, stronger people, using our experiences for the help of others.

I may wish that my life experiences had been different, that I had done things differently or that God had not made me as He has; I may still feel regret, shame, guilt, fear, anger, and loss.

But I am a survivor, and God is using my life experiences to make me what I am becoming today; He has a purpose for my life beyond what I may see and above and beyond what I can imagine.

I am a survivor and I'm free to become what God wants me to be, whole, strong, caring, loving  and forgiving.

You have known the indignity and cruelty of being sold for someone else's greed into a trade where you have have had to do things that no one should ever be asked or made to do; we call it human trafficking.

You have, as a child, been violated and told to keep it a secret and not ruin reputations; even today, you may never have told anyone because you fear not being believed or when you did tell, you have not been helped; you are one of the estimate 65 million US survivors of child sexual abuse.

You became pregnant as a teen and since no one wanted you in that condition, you were forced to abort your baby and were not even allowed to grieve; even today you are haunted with shame and guilt which you dare not share because you know you will be condemned by most people who don't understand God's grace.

Whatever we were survivors of, we have known pain, loss, grief, maybe shame, devastation, even helplessness and the loss of the will to hope or live.

But we are not victims. We are survivors. By God's grace we can heal, persevere, forgive and  become better, stronger people, using our experiences for the help of others.

I may wish that my life experiences had been different, that I had done things differently or that God had not made made me as He has; I may still feel regret, shame, guilt, fear, anger, and loss.

But I am a survivor and God is using my life experiences to make me what I am today; He has a purpose for my life beyond what I may see and above and beyond what I can see or imagine.

I am a survivor and I'm free to become what God wants me to be, whole, strong, caring, loving  and forgiving.

You have suffered the terrifying experience of being abducted, heing held against your will, wondering when you will see those you know and love, being violated, being brainwashed and maybe even resigning yourself to your fate, believing you will never be rescued.

You married a person with anger issues who had learned to resolve conflicts with fists; your partner or spouse uses you as a whipping post, controlling your money, isolating you, even hitting you and threatening your life.

You have suffered the unspeakable grief of losing a loved one to suicide; everyone, including you, are suffering not only agonizing grief but also guilt at wondering if somehow you could have prevented it.

Whatever we are survivors of, we have known pain, loss, grief, maybe shame, devastation, even helplessness and the loss of the will to hope or live.

But we are not victims. We are survivors. By God's grace we can heal, persevere, forgive and become better, stronger people, using our experiences for the help of others.

I may wish that my life experiences had been different, that I had done things differently or that God had not made me as He has.

But I am a survivor and God is using my life experiences to make me what I am today; He has a purpose for my life beyond what I may see and above and beyond what I can see or imagine.

I am a survivor and I'm free to become what God wants me to be, whole, strong, caring, loving and forgiving.

You grew up in a very dark place with illnesses of the mind where you thought and acted in ways that were a total mystery to yourself and those around you; you lived and still may remain your closet, in fear, guilt and shame and in terror that you will be found out and be stigmatized by all.

You grew up experiencing a condition called epilepsy and seizures; you have spent your life covering up your condition, even calling it and your seizures by other names and going to great lengths to hide it, including your medications and covering up the side effects.

You grew up being called stupid, spoiled, lazy, clumsy, and were placed in schools that stigmatized you for life; you grew up with shame and feelings of guilt and worthlessness, hopelessness and wondering if there would ever be a place for you; all this was because your autism spectrum disorder (ASD) was never properly diagnosed.

Whatever we are survivors of, we have known pain, loss, grief, maybe shame, devastation and even helplessness and the will to hope or live.

But we are not victims. We are survivors. By God's grace we can heal, persevere, forgive, and become better, stronger people, using our experiences for the help of others.

I may wish that my life experiences had been different, that I had done things differently or that God had made me different from what He has; I may still feel regret, shame, guilt, fear, anger and loss.

But I am a survivor and God is using my life experiences to make me what I am today; He has a purpose for my life beyond what I may see and above and beyond what I can imagine.

I am a survivor and I'm free to become what God wants me to be, whole, strong, caring, loving and forgiving.

You grew up in a home where you were neglected, too much was expected of you, or you may even have been hit, beaten, threatened, and where you felt the helplessness and hopelessness of an abused child; even today you may still be haunted by your trauma and wonder if you can trust anyone.

You grew up with a parent (s) who loved you but whose substance abuse addiction overpowered their love; you were neglected and may have even seen or been abused; you felt anger, fear, shame, loss, and hatred for your parents.

You grew up in a home with a parent who used you for his or her sexual pleasure; you feel shame at what has happened to you, helplessness at preventing further abuse, and anger at your other parent for not coming to your rescue; even today, you stay in your closet because you fear that you would be judged or not be believed.

Whatever we are survivors of, we have known pain, loss, grief, maybe shame, devastation and even helplessness and the loss of the will to hope or live.

But we are not victims. We are survivors. By God's grace we can heal, persevere, forgive and become better, stronger people, using our experiences for the help of others.

I may wish that my life experiences had been different, that I had done things differently and that God had made me different from what He has; I may still feel regret, shame, guilt, fear, anger and loss.

But I am a survivor and God is using my life experiences to make me what I am today; He has a purpose for my life beyond what I may see and above and beyond what I can imagine.

I am a survivor and I'm free to become what God has made me to be, whole, strong, caring, loving and forgiving.

You were in a terrible car crash and were left with permanent disabilities where your loss is as real and as painful to you as the loss of a loved one would be; you have lost a carrer you loved, so-called friends, a way of life, even your old identity.

You lived through a terrible disaster, man-made or narural and you suffered the shock, devastation and loss of a way of life, a loved one, even permanent physical injury; whatever you have lost, you can never forget.

You are a veteran, serving your country and you have done and seen things that no one but your fellow vererans can understand; you may be home but the war still may be going on here for you as you can never be the same person, emotionally or physically, that you were before you left.

Whatever we are survivors of, we have known pain, loss, grief, even shame, devastation and even helplessness and the loss of the will to hope or live.

But we are not victims. We are survivors. By God's grace we can heal, presevere, forgive and become better, stronger people, using our experiences for the help of others.

I may wish that my life experiences had been different, that I had done things differently and that God had made me differently from what He has; I may still feel regret, shame, guilt, fear, anger and loss.

But I am a survivor and God is using my life experiences to make me what I am today; He has a purpose for my life beyond what I may see and above and beyond what I can imagine.

I am a survivor and I'm free to become what God wants me to be, whole, strong, caring, loving and forgiving.

You grew up in poverty and want, with a good but uneducated mom who had to use government assistance and you and your family were among the "less fortunate" and seen as charity; often your only source of nutrition was the free lunch school program at your public school; you had to struggle to get an education and then a job but you did it.

You grew up with disabilities, visible or invisible, where what is easy and taken for granted by everyone else has always been a struggle for you; you may wonder why you have been put on this Earth, why God has made you as He has; you want nothing more than to be accepted for who you are and to be allowed to be independent, productive and valued.

You grew up as the target of peers who plugged into your vulnerabilities and who bullied you extensively; the adults in your life did not handle your situation well and you felt that you were not heard, that you did not have a voice and that you did not count; even today, you may have a tough time trusting people and their motives.

Whatever we are survivors of, we have known pain, loss, grief, maybe shame, devastation and even helplessness and the loss of the will to hope or live.

But we are not victims. We are survivors. By God's grace we can heal, persevere, forgive and become better, stronger people, using our experiences for the help of others.

I may wish that my life experiences had been different, that I had done things differently or that God had made me differently from what He has; I may still feel regret, shame, guilt, fear, anger and loss.

But I am a survivor and God is using my life experiences to make me what I am today; He has a purpose for my life beyond what I may see and beyond what I can imagine.

Survivor. What if our lives had been easy, pleasant and fun and only good, wonderful, exciting things happened to us with nothing to survive?

Survivor. If I had unscarred by life, I would never be able to develop the virtues of compassion, wisdom, patience, courage, forgiveness and perseverence.

Survivor. I may have been led to believe that I am doomed to lasting failure, and to repeat the mistakes of the past.

But I am not a victim. I am a survivor and I'm free to break the cycle of abuse, addiction, failure and other realities that may have been my life.

I am a survivor; God's grace has brought me through, caused me to over come and to continue to overcome until healing is complete.