All posters are courtesy of LostNMissing, Inc.. I, the Blog Owner, am
not a partner of nor affiliated with LostNMissing, Inc..
Showing posts with label Missing People. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Missing People. Show all posts
Thursday, January 10, 2013
Tuesday, January 1, 2013
Missing Tracy Myers, Missing Matthew Lein, Missing Justin Gaines, Missing Christina Whittaker, Missing Katherine Maiden, Missing Angel Garcia, Missing Timur Mardeyev
All of these missing persons posters are courtesy of Lostnmissing, Inc.. I am not affiliated with
or a partner of Lostnmissing, Inc..
Tuesday, August 7, 2012
Social Networking: the Bad and the Good
We are always, it seems, focusing on the dark side of the Internet and on social networks and there are extremely valid reasons for doing so. I have often posted about many negative experiences that I have witnessed or experienced. And, if we listen even casually to the news, we have hear too often about Internet crimes, including those committed by the "Craigslist Killer," the sometimes tragic outcomes known to befall especially younger people who meet others online and especially for romantic purposes and the suicides motived by online bullying. The use of Internet pornography has ruined or at least soured countless marriages. And this is not to mention that social networks, especially Facebook, have ruined many relationships, including marriages (aside from pornography). And then social networks have given predaors many more tools to work with, making for many more avenues for human trafficking and child pornography.
The media and the leaders of the Church (the community of people of faith) also often warn us about the dangers of the use of the Internet and especially social networks. The concern is especially something called "Internet addiction." Heavy use of the Internet can be very addicting as there is virtually NO limit to what a user can do online, the more computer-savvy one is. This heavy use of the Internet can blind a person to everything else, even to those things one normally cares about and enjoys. This is why Church leaders advise people, especially during Lent, to take "Facebook breaks," "social networking breaks" or "Internet breaks." Even at this time, family members have expressed concern and frustration that my absorption in my petition campaign and my associated activities that are going with it, including Internet marketing, awareness and my fairly new website (as yet under construction) and that is not to mention the commitment of this blogspot, maintaining it so that I post here twice a week. All this can be time-consuming, especially if there are bugs, glitches or issues, including interpersonal ones. And yes, we should be on our guard against overuse of the Internet or the use of social networks as a substitute for a social life in the "real world." And this is much tougher for those of us who are not socially inclined or simply shy but who enjoy connecting with people online. It is a temptation for me!
And then there is the serious issue of the widespread atmoshere is lies, deception and fake users as the Internet makes it easy to hide behind one's computer screen. Privacy settings are wonderful but they make it easy for fakes, crooks, scammers, predators and other bad guys or gals, to hide behind their computer screens. And it is quite difficult to tell the the bad guys or gals apart from good, honest, trustworthy users. So many users can claim to be something they are not or, even if real, falsify or embellish their claims or experiences for reasons known only to them. In this atmosphere of suspicion, other users are often not likely to give one the benefit of the doubt if there are suspicions or concerns. After all, it is "just social networking," right?
As for as connecting to nonprofits whose presence is mainly online and whom I learned about only through social networks, the experience almost always has been negative when I have tried to connect with them on a deeper level other than as a distant supporter. I know that this may say as much about me as much about thse nonprofits, for in each case, I may have "overshared" about my challenges and medical conditions in the name of openness and honesty. Instead of commending me for these qualities, these nonprofits apparently were scared off by my revelations. These dismissals have only triggered my memories of the past when both adults, with emotional abuse and peers, with their bullying, suggested that I was not "good enough." But getting back to encounters, including nonprofits, being only online, it seems that such encounters cause the parties involved to lose credibility more easily. This is because we don't have access to many nonverbal cues that can help us get to know people. It is also because we don't have a shared history with people we have met just online and so it is easier to dismiss them than people whom we "know personally."
And there is the frequent observation and yes, experience, that social networking can, as we see others post self-serving material about their accomplishments and their advantages, cause us to assume that the "grass is greener on the other side of the fence." And there are the insensitive and even unkind posts that can cause pain or break hearts. For example, if you're grieving the loss of a baby by any means, will you want to see posts or photos showing off cute little babies? And if you are unable to conceive, are you going to want to see pregnancy jokes status updates or photos of pregnant women or newborns? And if you have a brain injury, will you appreciate a slur calling a criminal "brain-damaged" to express disgust for that person? And if your child or loved one has an intellectual disability, will you appreciate the word "retard" being used even as a harmless joke? While it is great that social networks give people almost total control over who they can add, how much the other user can interact with them, who they can remove from their contacts, block or report, these features can hurt many feelings and cause ill will and even make enemies who "go off the deep end" and "snap" at the offending user.
Yet, in spite of all this, there are good things and priceless things that the Internet and social networks have brought. While the Internet has given predators and sex offenders more tools to work with and seem to have spawned more missing people, rapes, human trafficking and even murder, much of this may actually be that there is more awareness of thse evils that have been going on for a long time but which have been surrounded by ignorance and codes of silence. If the information age and the Internet have never come about, we may still be ignorant about thse evils and to our own peril. While the Internet has given bullies and abusers more tools to work with, much of what seems to be much worsened bullying may just be more awareness about what was once called a "rite of passage" and "just a part of being a kid." And even more, with the coming of the Internet and this information age, there is much more awareness and talking about disabilities, especially invisible ones like autism, that once were shrouded in ignorance and almost total silence. Many say that children and teens today have it worse than children and teens of my generation did. As far as Internet crimes and the increase of many temptations go, I certainly agree. Our bullies did not have the Internet to work with so online bullying was not an issue, and we did not have access to many of the things that create much more peer pressures for young peope today. On the other hand, because of the ignorance and codes of silence that surrounded so many of the things that we now know much more about and talk about today, we often suffered in silence, blamed ourselves and felt alone in certain life situations. Sexual offenses were not considered crimes unless they involved violence and so if you were sexually abused or assaulted, too bad. If you were extensively bullied, it was a "rite of passage" and if it got out of hand, it was the bully victim that tended to get the blame. And if you had invisible disabilities that did not have proper diagnoses tools or interventions, you had to endure much misunderstanding, abuse, stigma, even trauma and may have been robbed of a childhood or an education. Thus, it cannot really be said that the young today have it better or worse than any other generation had it. Every generation has its own struggles and challenges and every generation has its own advantages.
Above all, the Internet has allowed many of us to find sources of support such as so many of us have never known, as we are able to find users who share our passions and concerns. I have seen how families who face the trauma of missing people find so much support, caring and resources because of social networks and the Internet. I have seen it over and over again and I see it every time I get online and see families interact. The "world of the missing," according to "authorities" on missing persons awareness, consist of the families themselves, victims of crime (epecially if they themselves were once missing) and trained advocates such as those who hold ties with nonprofits. Related to this is how so many who call themselves survivors of crime or various forms of abuse, have often found encouragement and forums to share survival stories that were long kept secret because, in the past, people "do not talk about those things." This community is extremely close-knit and, in a way, it is sad that it takes the tragedy of a missing loved one or a common passion for them to bind people together. But what did families with missing loved ones and many victims of crime do before the Internet?
In the same way, the Internet has been invaluable for so many people with disabilities, in awareness, support and resources. Before this time of information, awareness and talking about issues, many disabilities, especially invisible ones, were surrounded by so much ignorance and codes of silence and much stigma. This has been especially the case for the autism community, where the proliferation of groups has enabled people to connect with each other in cyberspace. And the numerous forums and encouragement to share "disability stories" has done so much so undo stigma and increase awareness as people share stories of things that once were hushed up because "we don't talk about things like that." I have been using social networks for not much longer than two years and it has been an education; above all, it is the main reason I have, over time, been slowly finding the courage to share parts of my story that lend themselves to awareness for my petition or enhance posts for this blogspot or any of my other materials. The Internet is a priceless tool for self-expression, spreading awareness about causes we care about, sharing one's faith if you are a person of faith, and a great way to connect with people whom we cannot otherwise connect with.
It is all in how we use the Internet and social networks; will we use them for good or for evil?
The media and the leaders of the Church (the community of people of faith) also often warn us about the dangers of the use of the Internet and especially social networks. The concern is especially something called "Internet addiction." Heavy use of the Internet can be very addicting as there is virtually NO limit to what a user can do online, the more computer-savvy one is. This heavy use of the Internet can blind a person to everything else, even to those things one normally cares about and enjoys. This is why Church leaders advise people, especially during Lent, to take "Facebook breaks," "social networking breaks" or "Internet breaks." Even at this time, family members have expressed concern and frustration that my absorption in my petition campaign and my associated activities that are going with it, including Internet marketing, awareness and my fairly new website (as yet under construction) and that is not to mention the commitment of this blogspot, maintaining it so that I post here twice a week. All this can be time-consuming, especially if there are bugs, glitches or issues, including interpersonal ones. And yes, we should be on our guard against overuse of the Internet or the use of social networks as a substitute for a social life in the "real world." And this is much tougher for those of us who are not socially inclined or simply shy but who enjoy connecting with people online. It is a temptation for me!
And then there is the serious issue of the widespread atmoshere is lies, deception and fake users as the Internet makes it easy to hide behind one's computer screen. Privacy settings are wonderful but they make it easy for fakes, crooks, scammers, predators and other bad guys or gals, to hide behind their computer screens. And it is quite difficult to tell the the bad guys or gals apart from good, honest, trustworthy users. So many users can claim to be something they are not or, even if real, falsify or embellish their claims or experiences for reasons known only to them. In this atmosphere of suspicion, other users are often not likely to give one the benefit of the doubt if there are suspicions or concerns. After all, it is "just social networking," right?
As for as connecting to nonprofits whose presence is mainly online and whom I learned about only through social networks, the experience almost always has been negative when I have tried to connect with them on a deeper level other than as a distant supporter. I know that this may say as much about me as much about thse nonprofits, for in each case, I may have "overshared" about my challenges and medical conditions in the name of openness and honesty. Instead of commending me for these qualities, these nonprofits apparently were scared off by my revelations. These dismissals have only triggered my memories of the past when both adults, with emotional abuse and peers, with their bullying, suggested that I was not "good enough." But getting back to encounters, including nonprofits, being only online, it seems that such encounters cause the parties involved to lose credibility more easily. This is because we don't have access to many nonverbal cues that can help us get to know people. It is also because we don't have a shared history with people we have met just online and so it is easier to dismiss them than people whom we "know personally."
And there is the frequent observation and yes, experience, that social networking can, as we see others post self-serving material about their accomplishments and their advantages, cause us to assume that the "grass is greener on the other side of the fence." And there are the insensitive and even unkind posts that can cause pain or break hearts. For example, if you're grieving the loss of a baby by any means, will you want to see posts or photos showing off cute little babies? And if you are unable to conceive, are you going to want to see pregnancy jokes status updates or photos of pregnant women or newborns? And if you have a brain injury, will you appreciate a slur calling a criminal "brain-damaged" to express disgust for that person? And if your child or loved one has an intellectual disability, will you appreciate the word "retard" being used even as a harmless joke? While it is great that social networks give people almost total control over who they can add, how much the other user can interact with them, who they can remove from their contacts, block or report, these features can hurt many feelings and cause ill will and even make enemies who "go off the deep end" and "snap" at the offending user.
Yet, in spite of all this, there are good things and priceless things that the Internet and social networks have brought. While the Internet has given predators and sex offenders more tools to work with and seem to have spawned more missing people, rapes, human trafficking and even murder, much of this may actually be that there is more awareness of thse evils that have been going on for a long time but which have been surrounded by ignorance and codes of silence. If the information age and the Internet have never come about, we may still be ignorant about thse evils and to our own peril. While the Internet has given bullies and abusers more tools to work with, much of what seems to be much worsened bullying may just be more awareness about what was once called a "rite of passage" and "just a part of being a kid." And even more, with the coming of the Internet and this information age, there is much more awareness and talking about disabilities, especially invisible ones like autism, that once were shrouded in ignorance and almost total silence. Many say that children and teens today have it worse than children and teens of my generation did. As far as Internet crimes and the increase of many temptations go, I certainly agree. Our bullies did not have the Internet to work with so online bullying was not an issue, and we did not have access to many of the things that create much more peer pressures for young peope today. On the other hand, because of the ignorance and codes of silence that surrounded so many of the things that we now know much more about and talk about today, we often suffered in silence, blamed ourselves and felt alone in certain life situations. Sexual offenses were not considered crimes unless they involved violence and so if you were sexually abused or assaulted, too bad. If you were extensively bullied, it was a "rite of passage" and if it got out of hand, it was the bully victim that tended to get the blame. And if you had invisible disabilities that did not have proper diagnoses tools or interventions, you had to endure much misunderstanding, abuse, stigma, even trauma and may have been robbed of a childhood or an education. Thus, it cannot really be said that the young today have it better or worse than any other generation had it. Every generation has its own struggles and challenges and every generation has its own advantages.
Above all, the Internet has allowed many of us to find sources of support such as so many of us have never known, as we are able to find users who share our passions and concerns. I have seen how families who face the trauma of missing people find so much support, caring and resources because of social networks and the Internet. I have seen it over and over again and I see it every time I get online and see families interact. The "world of the missing," according to "authorities" on missing persons awareness, consist of the families themselves, victims of crime (epecially if they themselves were once missing) and trained advocates such as those who hold ties with nonprofits. Related to this is how so many who call themselves survivors of crime or various forms of abuse, have often found encouragement and forums to share survival stories that were long kept secret because, in the past, people "do not talk about those things." This community is extremely close-knit and, in a way, it is sad that it takes the tragedy of a missing loved one or a common passion for them to bind people together. But what did families with missing loved ones and many victims of crime do before the Internet?
In the same way, the Internet has been invaluable for so many people with disabilities, in awareness, support and resources. Before this time of information, awareness and talking about issues, many disabilities, especially invisible ones, were surrounded by so much ignorance and codes of silence and much stigma. This has been especially the case for the autism community, where the proliferation of groups has enabled people to connect with each other in cyberspace. And the numerous forums and encouragement to share "disability stories" has done so much so undo stigma and increase awareness as people share stories of things that once were hushed up because "we don't talk about things like that." I have been using social networks for not much longer than two years and it has been an education; above all, it is the main reason I have, over time, been slowly finding the courage to share parts of my story that lend themselves to awareness for my petition or enhance posts for this blogspot or any of my other materials. The Internet is a priceless tool for self-expression, spreading awareness about causes we care about, sharing one's faith if you are a person of faith, and a great way to connect with people whom we cannot otherwise connect with.
It is all in how we use the Internet and social networks; will we use them for good or for evil?
Wednesday, July 18, 2012
An Open Letter To Those Who Hold the Key (s) To Any Invstigation
You may regularly see a neighborhood child (ren) who the homeowner, who comes off to you as rather "strange," claims that he is just taking care of but who is not ever sent to school or anywhere else, for that matter. You have seen this child (ren) in the back yard but no where else. Should you read anything into this? Would this have anything to do with one of those missing child (ren) cases or Amber Alerts that you have been hearing about in the news?
On some days, as you look outdoors, you see a man who wanders the sidewalks aimlessly wandering around and appearing to be dazed and unaware. You have heard stories that this person has been thrown out by his family and you feel sorry for him, but what can you do?
You have exclusive knowledge about a conversation, online or in-person, that you know can provide a clue (s) to move a death or criminal investigation forward or help find a missing person, whether in your area or in your social networks.
There was a recent shooting in your workplace. Everyone is tremendously upset about it, including you. You have seen defensive wounds on a man whom you work with at around the time when your male co-worker was found tragically murdered. On, dear, would that man be the type to do such a thing; how can you "rat on" such a nice, outgoing guy?
You have been hearing and seeing all the news coverage about girls and women being sexually assaulted, raped, and one even being found murdered. Law enforcement (LE) are focusing only on one man whom they see as being possibly involved in all these cases. The sketch of the suspect resembles your beloved son and is too much to ignore. Your son lives with you but is often evasive about his whereabouts and activities. On, dear. What should you do, brush your misgivings off?
Your get along with your husband fairly well the few times he is home. However, he often exasperates you because he gets his mail forwarded to another state and when he brings his mail home, he will not let you touch it. You also can't get your husband to "come clean" about the $$$ that vanish out of your family account and who he talks to. What should you do about it?
You have heard about the case of the "wanted" robber in your state and he has been known to be armed as he has "held" up quite a few banks, terrifying people who were in the banks at those times. You take note of the sketch of this suspect, noticing with dismay that the person in this poster greatly resembles your nephew, who has had encounters with the law already. Should you mess with this and anger your relatives?
You are scrolling through your Facebook homepage and then, for some reason, decide to do a Facebook search. You notice that one of the Facebook profiles belongs to a boy who looks like and whose age is listed as identical to those of a missing boy, according to his poster information which you have seen, even shared, on social networks.
You are very painfully aware of a murder victim's case. You are the lone witness of the crime. You helplessly watched the person's life be brought to an untimely end. You have never forgotten the awful images and the victim's pleas for his life. You know the killer, who has told you to remain silent or you would be sorry. Are you going to be this person's next victim if you tell?
You sometimes hold parties in your home. A certain man enjoys to frequent your parties, bringing his camera and several girls, one who is quite a bit older than the others. This man has always been secretive about his activities and about the identities of these girls. You observe that they seem to be very focused on pleasing the man, but that they enjoy your parties. Are you to connect this with the case of a missing girl in your area?
I can come up with many other scenarios of instances where so many of us can hold a key or even the key that would help move a death, missing/unidentified or criminal investigation forward, or even solve a case. We all know that there are countless such investigations that are going on and their numbers only increase by the minute, as new investigations begin. Many investigations go on for months, for years and there are many that have been going on for decades and show no sign of getting solved. You probably know about and may even watch, whether regularly or sporadically, shows like John Walsh's "America's Most Wanted."
Behind every investigation, whether it be to find a missing person, to identify a crime victim, to determine why a deceased person has died, or to seek justice for a murdered person, are people who are hurting, devastated, and who want and need answers and peace. Families, friends and communities are forced to live without answers as to why a loved one is dead, who is responsible, to see the person be brought to justice, or see a missing loved one be brought home, whether safe and alive or identified as deceased so they can have a proper burial. When such questions linger, unanswered, it is pretty well impossible to focus on anything else or move forward with life.
If you follow the news, whether on television or online, or use social networks, you may have seen many appeals by families or their appointed spokespersons, who have make appeals to the public for answers. You may no doubt have seen the contact information for tips and information that are to be used for submitted tips for specific investigations. You may have heard the anguish in the voices of family members, the tears in their eyes, who have pled for anyone with any information, even suspected information, to come forward, to contact the shared tipline, and to know that you will remain anonymous as you do so.
You may be a frequent viewer of talk shows and even cable TV channels whose focus is true crime cases and investigations. If that is the case, you have likely seen anguished interviews with tearful family members or friends of missing or murdered people or crime victims/survivors, who are seeking for justice. In this case, you have heard the appeals: "We would do anything to have our loved one home again. We are missing our loved one. PLEASE, if you know anything at all or you suspect that something is not right, please call in with your tip. No piece of information is too small to help solve a case."
You may even be carrying a dark secret and you may be the only one who knows about it. You may know details of a crime that only the perpretrator (s) of a crime or an accomplice (s) can know. You say nothing because you don't want to lose your freedom. You may even have "skipped town," taking on an alias and starting life in another state or even in another country. If you told, you know what could happen. You could be put away in prison, even for life.
Why should you come forward and tell? For one thing, you would feel relief and gain a clear conscience. A clear conscience is priceless. You also can solve an investigation, bring a missing person home, identify a crime victim, end a family's nightmare, even save someone's life. Yes, doing the right thing often has consequences, but the consequences cannot compare to the consequennces of not doing what you know is right.
So why wait? You know what to do. Pick up your phone and dial 9-1-1 or the tipline in question or submit your tip in written form, on designated websites like John Walsh's "America's Most Wanted" or other related websites. Depending on any role you had in the case in question, you may face consequences. But you will be doing the right thing.
On some days, as you look outdoors, you see a man who wanders the sidewalks aimlessly wandering around and appearing to be dazed and unaware. You have heard stories that this person has been thrown out by his family and you feel sorry for him, but what can you do?
You have exclusive knowledge about a conversation, online or in-person, that you know can provide a clue (s) to move a death or criminal investigation forward or help find a missing person, whether in your area or in your social networks.
There was a recent shooting in your workplace. Everyone is tremendously upset about it, including you. You have seen defensive wounds on a man whom you work with at around the time when your male co-worker was found tragically murdered. On, dear, would that man be the type to do such a thing; how can you "rat on" such a nice, outgoing guy?
You have been hearing and seeing all the news coverage about girls and women being sexually assaulted, raped, and one even being found murdered. Law enforcement (LE) are focusing only on one man whom they see as being possibly involved in all these cases. The sketch of the suspect resembles your beloved son and is too much to ignore. Your son lives with you but is often evasive about his whereabouts and activities. On, dear. What should you do, brush your misgivings off?
Your get along with your husband fairly well the few times he is home. However, he often exasperates you because he gets his mail forwarded to another state and when he brings his mail home, he will not let you touch it. You also can't get your husband to "come clean" about the $$$ that vanish out of your family account and who he talks to. What should you do about it?
You have heard about the case of the "wanted" robber in your state and he has been known to be armed as he has "held" up quite a few banks, terrifying people who were in the banks at those times. You take note of the sketch of this suspect, noticing with dismay that the person in this poster greatly resembles your nephew, who has had encounters with the law already. Should you mess with this and anger your relatives?
You are scrolling through your Facebook homepage and then, for some reason, decide to do a Facebook search. You notice that one of the Facebook profiles belongs to a boy who looks like and whose age is listed as identical to those of a missing boy, according to his poster information which you have seen, even shared, on social networks.
You are very painfully aware of a murder victim's case. You are the lone witness of the crime. You helplessly watched the person's life be brought to an untimely end. You have never forgotten the awful images and the victim's pleas for his life. You know the killer, who has told you to remain silent or you would be sorry. Are you going to be this person's next victim if you tell?
You sometimes hold parties in your home. A certain man enjoys to frequent your parties, bringing his camera and several girls, one who is quite a bit older than the others. This man has always been secretive about his activities and about the identities of these girls. You observe that they seem to be very focused on pleasing the man, but that they enjoy your parties. Are you to connect this with the case of a missing girl in your area?
I can come up with many other scenarios of instances where so many of us can hold a key or even the key that would help move a death, missing/unidentified or criminal investigation forward, or even solve a case. We all know that there are countless such investigations that are going on and their numbers only increase by the minute, as new investigations begin. Many investigations go on for months, for years and there are many that have been going on for decades and show no sign of getting solved. You probably know about and may even watch, whether regularly or sporadically, shows like John Walsh's "America's Most Wanted."
Behind every investigation, whether it be to find a missing person, to identify a crime victim, to determine why a deceased person has died, or to seek justice for a murdered person, are people who are hurting, devastated, and who want and need answers and peace. Families, friends and communities are forced to live without answers as to why a loved one is dead, who is responsible, to see the person be brought to justice, or see a missing loved one be brought home, whether safe and alive or identified as deceased so they can have a proper burial. When such questions linger, unanswered, it is pretty well impossible to focus on anything else or move forward with life.
If you follow the news, whether on television or online, or use social networks, you may have seen many appeals by families or their appointed spokespersons, who have make appeals to the public for answers. You may no doubt have seen the contact information for tips and information that are to be used for submitted tips for specific investigations. You may have heard the anguish in the voices of family members, the tears in their eyes, who have pled for anyone with any information, even suspected information, to come forward, to contact the shared tipline, and to know that you will remain anonymous as you do so.
You may be a frequent viewer of talk shows and even cable TV channels whose focus is true crime cases and investigations. If that is the case, you have likely seen anguished interviews with tearful family members or friends of missing or murdered people or crime victims/survivors, who are seeking for justice. In this case, you have heard the appeals: "We would do anything to have our loved one home again. We are missing our loved one. PLEASE, if you know anything at all or you suspect that something is not right, please call in with your tip. No piece of information is too small to help solve a case."
You may even be carrying a dark secret and you may be the only one who knows about it. You may know details of a crime that only the perpretrator (s) of a crime or an accomplice (s) can know. You say nothing because you don't want to lose your freedom. You may even have "skipped town," taking on an alias and starting life in another state or even in another country. If you told, you know what could happen. You could be put away in prison, even for life.
Why should you come forward and tell? For one thing, you would feel relief and gain a clear conscience. A clear conscience is priceless. You also can solve an investigation, bring a missing person home, identify a crime victim, end a family's nightmare, even save someone's life. Yes, doing the right thing often has consequences, but the consequences cannot compare to the consequennces of not doing what you know is right.
So why wait? You know what to do. Pick up your phone and dial 9-1-1 or the tipline in question or submit your tip in written form, on designated websites like John Walsh's "America's Most Wanted" or other related websites. Depending on any role you had in the case in question, you may face consequences. But you will be doing the right thing.
Wednesday, March 7, 2012
All People are Created Equal: What Do We Really Mean By This?
A boy from an affluent home shows learning and behavior problems so his parents take him to professionals, who research his issues. He is diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome; he is sent to the finest private schools where he receives top-notch services. Today he is a respected, successful writer. His peer, from a poor family, also shows similar learning and behavior issues. His single mom takes him to a professionals, who conclude, with little research, that this boy is "emotionally disturbed" and has a "personality disorder." He is sent to public "alternative" schools with watered-down curriculums, learns little, loses hope and, unemployable, he falls into deep depressions and enters the mental health system.
A pretty teen from an wealthy family vanishes. Her dad and other relatives, blessed with the resources to keep her story in the media, keep her case high-profile; she's found alive months later and today is successful and much-esteemed. Another, younger girl, from a poor family, vanishes at about the same time. Her family lack the resources and support to get her any media attention. Today, years later, this girl is still missing.
An affluent woman is diagnosed with cancer and is, of course, quite upset and distressed. Her mom tells her about a top-notch cancer treatment center in a nearby state. As money is not an issue, this woman and her family move so she can take advantage of this center's excellent care; today she remains cancer-free. Another woman, who uses government-funded health insurance, also is diagnosed with cancer and also is devastated. However, she "freaks out," as most health care providers and doctors won't take her insurance due to lousy government re-imbursement. After much searching, she finds care but not before her cancer has spread.
In a wealthy city, you can find a private neighborhood where the streets are gated, crime is very low, people drive fancy cars, children can play in the streets, people can ride bicycles and homes are large, beautiful and well-built. Nearby, another neighborhood features many small, crumbling, drab "dumps." Crime, including drug dealings and violent crime, are commonplace. Drivers don't stop as this is a public neighborhood; children dare not play in the streets or people ride bicycles.
A celebrity begins a Facebook account for self-promotion. He has very little trouble "adding" people to his page, thanks to his name recognition. His product sells very well. His peer, an "ordinary" man, who is seeking justice for his brutally murdered sister whose killer is up for parole, also sets up a Facebook account. Desperate to raise awareness about his sister and to get support, he seeks to "add" people to his page. Multiple times, Facebook warns him of "abusing" it, blocks him from adding other users (longer each time) and finally de-activates his account. He has to "start all over again" to shore up enough support to circulate a petition to the parole board to keep the murderer in prison.
A boy from an affluent home attends the finest private schools, gets a top-notch education and, after graduate school, he starts up a business that soon becomes hugely successful and has made him a billionaire. His peer from a poor home, equally bright and talented, goes to mediocre public schools, drops out and sees little hope for his future. Desperate, he turns to drug-dealing to get his cash.
A celebrity is accused of a brutal murder; he is able to afford a "dream team" of high-powered, fast-talking lawyers. He is acquitted. His peer is accused of "assault on a police officer" without evidence. Unable to afford a private lawyer, an overworked, underpaid public defender is assigned to his case. After a short trial, this guy is sentenced to years in prison and to years of parole upon release.
A bright, motivated, well-trained woman with epilepsy applies for the career of her choice, having prepared her resume and done all she could to make a good impression. To "keep it real" and avoid being accused of dishonesty, she discloses her epilepsy on her application. She never hears back; it takes her months to find a job. Her peer, a nondisabled person, equally prepared, lands a job with little trouble; self-disclosure and discrimination are not issues.
A caring, respected, bright, well-educated woman, diagnosed with autism and epilepsy, is unable to conceive and searches out agencies, hoping to adopt. She discloses her challenges but feels that her credentials would more than make up for her disabilities. Wrong. Agency after agency turn her down. Her peer, without disabilities, and also possessing a good reputation, a big heart and an education, easily is approved and soon her empty arms are filled with a beautiful baby and, months later, with another baby.
For each of these example there are many more intances of inequality and there are many other examples that I could have given. We often hear the phrase "All people are created equal." But I wonder, judging from every area of our system and from our culture and actions, if we actually believe this. We can see the way that resources are so UNEVENLY distributed in every area of society and culture, in health care, education, the criminal justice system, our social class rankings, our wealth and income distribution and in our social relationships.
Yes, I know that when it comes to functioning, we are definitely not equal. There are those in positions of power and authority who tells us what to do and can make decisions for us that affect our lives. There are the greater number of us who must follow their orders and live with the consequences of their decisions. There are our lawmakers who create our system and the rest of us who must live with this system that we did not create. There are the "1 percent" of the "Wall Streeters" who own and control most of our wealth and the rest of us who may live in decent comfort, struggle to make ends meet or exist without enough to eat or clothe ourselves. There are the majority of us without disabilities who are pretty much able to live and function as we wish. There are those who disabilities, visible or invisible, whose impairments greatly limit their options in many areas of life and who must live with limitations. And on a world scale, there are those of us in North America who own (or at least experience) most of the word's wealth. And there are many, many more people on the other side of the world, who often exist in deep poverty, hunger, want and destitution; many, including children, die of hunger or disease.
Yet we are all created equal in personhood, when it comes to being. This truth is not only according to our own experience but according to the Scriptures. We all have the same basic needs for safety, food, clothing and shelter. We all want to be happy and to be loved. When we are hurt, we all inwardly are stung. Our bodies bleed when we are cut. We all get sick. We laugh when we are amused (and maybe uncomfortable). We cry when we are heartbroken. We feel guilt when we have done wrong. We all are born. We all will die. According to the Bible, we have all sinned and we all need a Savior; we all have equal access to God's grace and favor though faith in Christ.
But it is because of our inequalities in functioning and our ignorance, prejudices and intolerance, that cause so many of us to treat each other as unequals not just in functioning but as unequals also in personhood. Even in churches, where our congregations formally claim to serve and worship a God Who has created all of us as equal, we see exclusion, snobbery and cliques. I can say this from experience because I have experienced these at the hands of fellow parishioners; I'm sure many other people can share similar stories of their experiences in churches. Yes, I know there are many wonderful people in every congregation but even people of faith are human. And I see cliques and exclusion on Facebook, where many in my social networks talk only to each other and ignore everyone else. Cliques, snobbery and exclusion are when people stick only with those who are "their kind" and ignore everyone else.
Months ago, I saw this status update on Facebook, "All people are created equal." Underneath this status, a person commented, "Too bad they don't stay that way." This blog has been my lament of this person's comment on the status. Actually, it seems that we all start out as equals in that we come into the world "in our birthday suits" and we become equal, one again, only when we leave the world, to slip into eternity and stand before our Creator and answer to Him about what we have done with our lives.
This is the core of what adversity, sorrow and tragedy do for us: They re-inforce the truth that we are indeed created equal.
A pretty teen from an wealthy family vanishes. Her dad and other relatives, blessed with the resources to keep her story in the media, keep her case high-profile; she's found alive months later and today is successful and much-esteemed. Another, younger girl, from a poor family, vanishes at about the same time. Her family lack the resources and support to get her any media attention. Today, years later, this girl is still missing.
An affluent woman is diagnosed with cancer and is, of course, quite upset and distressed. Her mom tells her about a top-notch cancer treatment center in a nearby state. As money is not an issue, this woman and her family move so she can take advantage of this center's excellent care; today she remains cancer-free. Another woman, who uses government-funded health insurance, also is diagnosed with cancer and also is devastated. However, she "freaks out," as most health care providers and doctors won't take her insurance due to lousy government re-imbursement. After much searching, she finds care but not before her cancer has spread.
In a wealthy city, you can find a private neighborhood where the streets are gated, crime is very low, people drive fancy cars, children can play in the streets, people can ride bicycles and homes are large, beautiful and well-built. Nearby, another neighborhood features many small, crumbling, drab "dumps." Crime, including drug dealings and violent crime, are commonplace. Drivers don't stop as this is a public neighborhood; children dare not play in the streets or people ride bicycles.
A celebrity begins a Facebook account for self-promotion. He has very little trouble "adding" people to his page, thanks to his name recognition. His product sells very well. His peer, an "ordinary" man, who is seeking justice for his brutally murdered sister whose killer is up for parole, also sets up a Facebook account. Desperate to raise awareness about his sister and to get support, he seeks to "add" people to his page. Multiple times, Facebook warns him of "abusing" it, blocks him from adding other users (longer each time) and finally de-activates his account. He has to "start all over again" to shore up enough support to circulate a petition to the parole board to keep the murderer in prison.
A boy from an affluent home attends the finest private schools, gets a top-notch education and, after graduate school, he starts up a business that soon becomes hugely successful and has made him a billionaire. His peer from a poor home, equally bright and talented, goes to mediocre public schools, drops out and sees little hope for his future. Desperate, he turns to drug-dealing to get his cash.
A celebrity is accused of a brutal murder; he is able to afford a "dream team" of high-powered, fast-talking lawyers. He is acquitted. His peer is accused of "assault on a police officer" without evidence. Unable to afford a private lawyer, an overworked, underpaid public defender is assigned to his case. After a short trial, this guy is sentenced to years in prison and to years of parole upon release.
A bright, motivated, well-trained woman with epilepsy applies for the career of her choice, having prepared her resume and done all she could to make a good impression. To "keep it real" and avoid being accused of dishonesty, she discloses her epilepsy on her application. She never hears back; it takes her months to find a job. Her peer, a nondisabled person, equally prepared, lands a job with little trouble; self-disclosure and discrimination are not issues.
A caring, respected, bright, well-educated woman, diagnosed with autism and epilepsy, is unable to conceive and searches out agencies, hoping to adopt. She discloses her challenges but feels that her credentials would more than make up for her disabilities. Wrong. Agency after agency turn her down. Her peer, without disabilities, and also possessing a good reputation, a big heart and an education, easily is approved and soon her empty arms are filled with a beautiful baby and, months later, with another baby.
For each of these example there are many more intances of inequality and there are many other examples that I could have given. We often hear the phrase "All people are created equal." But I wonder, judging from every area of our system and from our culture and actions, if we actually believe this. We can see the way that resources are so UNEVENLY distributed in every area of society and culture, in health care, education, the criminal justice system, our social class rankings, our wealth and income distribution and in our social relationships.
Yes, I know that when it comes to functioning, we are definitely not equal. There are those in positions of power and authority who tells us what to do and can make decisions for us that affect our lives. There are the greater number of us who must follow their orders and live with the consequences of their decisions. There are our lawmakers who create our system and the rest of us who must live with this system that we did not create. There are the "1 percent" of the "Wall Streeters" who own and control most of our wealth and the rest of us who may live in decent comfort, struggle to make ends meet or exist without enough to eat or clothe ourselves. There are the majority of us without disabilities who are pretty much able to live and function as we wish. There are those who disabilities, visible or invisible, whose impairments greatly limit their options in many areas of life and who must live with limitations. And on a world scale, there are those of us in North America who own (or at least experience) most of the word's wealth. And there are many, many more people on the other side of the world, who often exist in deep poverty, hunger, want and destitution; many, including children, die of hunger or disease.
Yet we are all created equal in personhood, when it comes to being. This truth is not only according to our own experience but according to the Scriptures. We all have the same basic needs for safety, food, clothing and shelter. We all want to be happy and to be loved. When we are hurt, we all inwardly are stung. Our bodies bleed when we are cut. We all get sick. We laugh when we are amused (and maybe uncomfortable). We cry when we are heartbroken. We feel guilt when we have done wrong. We all are born. We all will die. According to the Bible, we have all sinned and we all need a Savior; we all have equal access to God's grace and favor though faith in Christ.
But it is because of our inequalities in functioning and our ignorance, prejudices and intolerance, that cause so many of us to treat each other as unequals not just in functioning but as unequals also in personhood. Even in churches, where our congregations formally claim to serve and worship a God Who has created all of us as equal, we see exclusion, snobbery and cliques. I can say this from experience because I have experienced these at the hands of fellow parishioners; I'm sure many other people can share similar stories of their experiences in churches. Yes, I know there are many wonderful people in every congregation but even people of faith are human. And I see cliques and exclusion on Facebook, where many in my social networks talk only to each other and ignore everyone else. Cliques, snobbery and exclusion are when people stick only with those who are "their kind" and ignore everyone else.
Months ago, I saw this status update on Facebook, "All people are created equal." Underneath this status, a person commented, "Too bad they don't stay that way." This blog has been my lament of this person's comment on the status. Actually, it seems that we all start out as equals in that we come into the world "in our birthday suits" and we become equal, one again, only when we leave the world, to slip into eternity and stand before our Creator and answer to Him about what we have done with our lives.
This is the core of what adversity, sorrow and tragedy do for us: They re-inforce the truth that we are indeed created equal.
Thursday, January 19, 2012
Can Existing Technology Be Used To Better Serve and Protect Us?
Traditionally, the practice of sending people to the moon has been widely embraced as one of the crowning achievements of US culture. I do applaud how the "space camp" model has been sometimes used in education, to challenge and educate many children. One of my nephews has benefitted from such an educational project. Yes, I know that this mission of sending people to the moon has been a source of pride and fulfillment to the involved astronauts, their families and their communities. This mission has been a mark of intellectual giftedness, courage and enterprise. Some were even contemplating sending astronauts to Mars! For many years, I had complained about the money that had been spent to send astronauts to the moon, when we faced massive need on Earth which the government would claim that we could not afford to address adequately. I never would have raised a fuss about spending money on this space mission if I did not see that the money could be better used to meet more pressing needs than to present enriched opportunties to the more fortunate. Yes, later last year, the US government has suspended the space shuttle mission to deal with the US impending budget disaster.
Yet can budget resources be allocated to apply existing technology to better protect and serve us as a society? When I discovered social media and got involved in spreading awareness about missing people and surrounding or related issues, I discovered an interesting concept: The technology that NASA has used in their space shuttle missions and as it stands today, can be put to use to empower law enforcement officers (LEO's) to more efficiently find missing people, to more effectively investigate crimes of all kinds, and to prevent much crime and people vanishing in the first place. This would ensure a safer society for all of us. To make this all work, we would have to understand and embrace this idea and urge the government to adapt the existing technology toward these ends and allocate the national budget accordingly.
A number of us have been circulating a petition, targeted to President Obama and to US Congressmen and US Senators, to take existing technology and to figure out how to use it to enable our LEO's to better serve us as they investigate all different types of crime and to aid them in missing persons searches. Still, in spite of the time and dedication of the few advocates of this idea and awareness of its critical importance to a safer society, I have noted a substantial resistance to this idea on the part of many missing persons and crime victim advocates. So many of these advocates spend endless hours in researching, awareness and updating the public about individual missing/unidentified persons cases, and providing updates. I praise the dedication and compassion of so many of thse advocates in their hard work. Yet it seems that so many of thse advocates seem much more comfortable getting out the word about individual cases and lamenting the issues surrounding crime and missing people. Yet so many of these same advocates either totally ignore or resist taking the time to educate themselves about the why and the how of updating so many crime victim investigations, missing persons searches and the resources and training of LEO's. A couple of people have said bluntly, "This idea will never work."
No, I do not doubt for a minute the implicit need to continue to educate the public about crime, missing people, the surrounding issues and to research individual cases, get the word out about them and to provide updates. But if many more advocates would take time out from that to educate themselves about an idea that can be implemented that may make the work of LEO's and their own work, easier and more effective, think what a difference we could make for present and future families of missing/unidentified people and for their loved ones.
And it has been disturbing that the media have done almost nothing to learn about, much less educate the public about, the dire need to upgrade and update criminal investigations, missing persons searches and the training and resources of LEO's. It has been suggested that media coverage of this idea would not be considered "cool" and would not help with ratings. But wouldn't the media be much more likely to listen to us if they could hear more than just a few of us plead with them to talk about this idea and to educate the public about it?
We need to keep doing what we are doing in advocacy plus take time to educate ourselves about this idea that, admittedly, is untested and untried. But we should not write it off as impractical and unworkable until we give it an honest look. Too many lives are at stake and many future lives can possibly be saved by this idea being adapted and implemented. Since cost would be an issue, maybe we can cut costs on other things that aren't as essential, increase taxes on millionaires and billionaires, and balance the budget in other ways.
What is the potential of this idea? It could make missing person searches more efficient and effective. Upgrading existing technology and the training and resources of LEO's could enable them to track down runaways more easily and faster, re-uniting them with their families faster. This could enable LEO's to track down abductors, murderers and other criminals who are responsible for people's disappearances. This would increase the odds that these individuals could be found more quickly, and found safe or at least alive. If missing persons are still found deceased, the nightmares of their families could be ended more quickly as their loved ones can be identified more quickly and they can find answers faster. This idea could help prevent and reduce John and Jane Does. Aren't we all, especially families, utterly weary of the maddening slowness of so many missing persons and criminal investigations and how the nightmares of so many go on for years, even decades? So should we at least keep open mind to an idea that can help alleviate much of this? Yes, it is not perfect but aren't we ripe for a change in how things are currently done in these matters? So if we are really serious about those who we advocate for and yearn to help, we need to give this idea a fair shot, and consider it as we educate ourselves and appeal to those in power about it.
This proposed idea could also aid LEO's to prevent and end many nonviolent crimes that also endanger us, if not physically. With our fear of identity thieves, many forms of fraud and corruption and countless online criminals, we should at least consider the use of existing technology to aid LEO's to prevent and end many of thse crimes. For it may help LEO's track down many of such criminals, many who are slick and able to escape detection, especially so many of them who are able to hide behind computer screens and do untold damage. We advocates all need to work together not only in crime victim and missing persons advocacy, but to, in much larger numbers, not only educate ourselves and others about the need to upgrade and update LEO's jobs in protecting and serving us. Those in power need to listen to us and do everything they can to implement the technology that we now have. Together we can make this happen.
Yes, there are concerns about privacy and cost as well as concerns about the "nuts and bolts" of using this technology efficiently, with government "red tape." True, I am talking about a mere idea, but it has the potential to become much more. Lives are on the line. So before you write this off as nonsense and those of us advocate for it as not knowing what we are talking about, I challenge you to please click the links I will provide below and take time to educate yourself. And if you are convinced that this may have merit, I urge you to sign the petition at the link I will provide below. If you continue to have concerns or objections to this idea, I welcome your comments.
http://findthemissing.vze.com/
This website provides much information about the whys and the hows of putting existing technology to use to update and upgrade missing person and criminal investigations and that would provide more resources and better training for LEO's.
http://www.change.org/petitions/petitionthe-media-needs-to-educate-the-public-to-help-find-missing-children-women-men-quickly-reduce-other-crime-using-existing-military-technology
This is the petition about this, targeted to President Obama and to US Congressmen and US Senators, that some of us have been circulating. I encourage everyone to sign it.
Yet can budget resources be allocated to apply existing technology to better protect and serve us as a society? When I discovered social media and got involved in spreading awareness about missing people and surrounding or related issues, I discovered an interesting concept: The technology that NASA has used in their space shuttle missions and as it stands today, can be put to use to empower law enforcement officers (LEO's) to more efficiently find missing people, to more effectively investigate crimes of all kinds, and to prevent much crime and people vanishing in the first place. This would ensure a safer society for all of us. To make this all work, we would have to understand and embrace this idea and urge the government to adapt the existing technology toward these ends and allocate the national budget accordingly.
A number of us have been circulating a petition, targeted to President Obama and to US Congressmen and US Senators, to take existing technology and to figure out how to use it to enable our LEO's to better serve us as they investigate all different types of crime and to aid them in missing persons searches. Still, in spite of the time and dedication of the few advocates of this idea and awareness of its critical importance to a safer society, I have noted a substantial resistance to this idea on the part of many missing persons and crime victim advocates. So many of these advocates spend endless hours in researching, awareness and updating the public about individual missing/unidentified persons cases, and providing updates. I praise the dedication and compassion of so many of thse advocates in their hard work. Yet it seems that so many of thse advocates seem much more comfortable getting out the word about individual cases and lamenting the issues surrounding crime and missing people. Yet so many of these same advocates either totally ignore or resist taking the time to educate themselves about the why and the how of updating so many crime victim investigations, missing persons searches and the resources and training of LEO's. A couple of people have said bluntly, "This idea will never work."
No, I do not doubt for a minute the implicit need to continue to educate the public about crime, missing people, the surrounding issues and to research individual cases, get the word out about them and to provide updates. But if many more advocates would take time out from that to educate themselves about an idea that can be implemented that may make the work of LEO's and their own work, easier and more effective, think what a difference we could make for present and future families of missing/unidentified people and for their loved ones.
And it has been disturbing that the media have done almost nothing to learn about, much less educate the public about, the dire need to upgrade and update criminal investigations, missing persons searches and the training and resources of LEO's. It has been suggested that media coverage of this idea would not be considered "cool" and would not help with ratings. But wouldn't the media be much more likely to listen to us if they could hear more than just a few of us plead with them to talk about this idea and to educate the public about it?
We need to keep doing what we are doing in advocacy plus take time to educate ourselves about this idea that, admittedly, is untested and untried. But we should not write it off as impractical and unworkable until we give it an honest look. Too many lives are at stake and many future lives can possibly be saved by this idea being adapted and implemented. Since cost would be an issue, maybe we can cut costs on other things that aren't as essential, increase taxes on millionaires and billionaires, and balance the budget in other ways.
What is the potential of this idea? It could make missing person searches more efficient and effective. Upgrading existing technology and the training and resources of LEO's could enable them to track down runaways more easily and faster, re-uniting them with their families faster. This could enable LEO's to track down abductors, murderers and other criminals who are responsible for people's disappearances. This would increase the odds that these individuals could be found more quickly, and found safe or at least alive. If missing persons are still found deceased, the nightmares of their families could be ended more quickly as their loved ones can be identified more quickly and they can find answers faster. This idea could help prevent and reduce John and Jane Does. Aren't we all, especially families, utterly weary of the maddening slowness of so many missing persons and criminal investigations and how the nightmares of so many go on for years, even decades? So should we at least keep open mind to an idea that can help alleviate much of this? Yes, it is not perfect but aren't we ripe for a change in how things are currently done in these matters? So if we are really serious about those who we advocate for and yearn to help, we need to give this idea a fair shot, and consider it as we educate ourselves and appeal to those in power about it.
This proposed idea could also aid LEO's to prevent and end many nonviolent crimes that also endanger us, if not physically. With our fear of identity thieves, many forms of fraud and corruption and countless online criminals, we should at least consider the use of existing technology to aid LEO's to prevent and end many of thse crimes. For it may help LEO's track down many of such criminals, many who are slick and able to escape detection, especially so many of them who are able to hide behind computer screens and do untold damage. We advocates all need to work together not only in crime victim and missing persons advocacy, but to, in much larger numbers, not only educate ourselves and others about the need to upgrade and update LEO's jobs in protecting and serving us. Those in power need to listen to us and do everything they can to implement the technology that we now have. Together we can make this happen.
Yes, there are concerns about privacy and cost as well as concerns about the "nuts and bolts" of using this technology efficiently, with government "red tape." True, I am talking about a mere idea, but it has the potential to become much more. Lives are on the line. So before you write this off as nonsense and those of us advocate for it as not knowing what we are talking about, I challenge you to please click the links I will provide below and take time to educate yourself. And if you are convinced that this may have merit, I urge you to sign the petition at the link I will provide below. If you continue to have concerns or objections to this idea, I welcome your comments.
http://findthemissing.vze.com/
This website provides much information about the whys and the hows of putting existing technology to use to update and upgrade missing person and criminal investigations and that would provide more resources and better training for LEO's.
http://www.change.org/petitions/petitionthe-media-needs-to-educate-the-public-to-help-find-missing-children-women-men-quickly-reduce-other-crime-using-existing-military-technology
This is the petition about this, targeted to President Obama and to US Congressmen and US Senators, that some of us have been circulating. I encourage everyone to sign it.
Monday, January 9, 2012
Who Are We? Help Us get Back Our Names, We Are Unidentified!
John Doe. Jane Doe. There looms a silent but real epidemic, not only in the US but throughout the world. We may have no idea it is going on, much less what we can do about it. If you have been following my blogs, you know that my last blog focused on missing people. In this blog, I'm focusing on those on the reverse side of being missing: These individuals have been found but they have not been identified. Experts in forensics tell us that, in the US alone, there are about 40,000 to 60,000 of such individuals who have lost their names for a variety of reasons. The majority of these people are deceased; they are, in forensic terms, "unidentified human remains." How sad! Yet among these total number of unidentified people are living unidentified people who, for various reasons, live without their actual names. Forensic experts tell us that much potential exists for many of these unidentified people to be matched with missing people, which can provide answers, freedom to grieve and the ability to rebuild their lives, to many families whose loved ones are deceased. Such matches can also re-unite living unidentified people with their families of origin, as well as bring home abducted people , re-uniting them with theit long-suffereing families. Sadly, there are no doubt too many of these unidentified people who are nameless because they were never reported as missing in the first place and though they were found, only the person(s) responsible their their disappearances hold the key to their their getting their names back. And such people, who can be and should be held accountable for their acts, have a motive to "not talk."
Why do people, at any point in their lives, end up losing their names? One big reason for way too many long-term unidentified (especially over 15 years), is because in the inability to use DNA in missing persons or criminal investigations (this very same factor is the reason for so many past wrongful convictions and inability to catch actual criminals). Many of these long-term unidentified may likely never be unidentified, unless "people begin to talk." This inability to use DNA in the past is the same reason for so many long-term missing people. What does this add up to? For so many families of the missing, this amounts to a whole lot of anguish, anxiety, lack of answers and devastation! It isn't because advocates, volunteers, law enforcement and families aren't trying hard enough to solve these missing or unidentified cases. Most are working overtime for this resolution! The sad fact is that many of these cases are extremely difficult to solve, unless or until we can reach those who hold the key (s) to solving the puzzle.
People end up unidentified because they fail to carry any identification with them ( such as ID's, cell phones, travel passports, credit cards, medical alert information, or the like) when they travel, even out of their states or their countries. Then, if something happens to them and they end up dead, whether by accident, injury, murder or otherwise, no one is able to identify them. What does this means for us? Everything! Any of us can end up as John or Jane Does, if we leave our counties, our states or even our countries, and something happens to us, which costs us our lives, yet no one can identify us. Does anyone reading this want to put their families through the pain and devastation of never finding us or knowing what has happened to us, because something has happened that cost us our lives but we can't be identified? Of course not, unless you are holding ill will against your family for some reason. To prevent more John and Jane Does, we need to remember, when traveling any distance, especially long distance, to take with us items that can identify us (Ex.: I do NOT include the Social Security # in this because of the danger of identity theft).
Many murder victims become unidentified because their murderers seek to destroy any evidence, to evade prosecution and prison, or even to "finish up" their crimes, ensuring that their victims not be identified. These killers do this by removing anything that can identify their victims, even though their victims may be found. Take the sad case of 4-year-old little Marc Anthony Bookal, whose poor little body was found but who remained unidentified for weeks, no doubt because his killer had gotten rid of anything that could easily identify this poor child. There is the heartbreaking case of the young lady, Mitrice Richardson, whose body was reportedly found weeks before it was identified as hers. Her death has never been solved, but isn't very possible that she was murdered and her killer(s) had gotten rid of anything that could identify her (True, Mitrice had not had anything with her when she had vanished). More recently, there is the sad case if little 8-year-old Camden Hughes, whose poor little body was found but not easy to identify, likely because his killer had gotten rid of any identifying markers.
And then there are the living unidentified, the small but significant monority among this population. Who are these living unidentified? These people end up without their names for various reasons: family dysfunctions where, to "cover their behinds," families will "hide" children who are conceived in disreputable circumstances, such as rape, love affairs, or teen pregnancies). Recently, the case of the "love child" of the former California Governor, Arnold Schwarzeneggar, illustrates this. That little boy had to live 10 years without revealing his identity, so his his biological dad's misdeeds could be covered up. But, at least in the media, I have never heard the scandal ever discussed from this child's perspective and what it means to him.
Living people end up unidentified when they are abducted and their abductors, to cover up the crime, forces them to adopt aliases to conceal who they really are and so they can evade prosecution and prison. For most of the 18 years of her abduction, Jaycee Dugard had to go by the name "Alyssa" so her abductors could evade consequences for their acts. For 4 years, Shawn Hornbeck had to go by the name "Shawn Devlin" which is his abductor's last name. Steven Staynor, who was abducted during the 1960's, for 7 years, was made to go by so many different aliases, that he almost forgot his name! In other cases, abducted children are raised by their abductor or are trafficked in "black market" adoptions, where they are given new name & identities so they will not be "discovered" or learn who they really are. I'm sure that this goes on more than we realize and some of us may, without knowing it, know suuch unidentified individuals! Recently, I read a sad book called BEAUTIFUL CHILD, about a woman who was abducted very early in life. Her abductor gave her an alias to conceal her true identity as Sharon and this woman had spent her entire life, from the point of her abduction on, until her tragic death, living as an unidentified person.
One reason people become unidentified is because of some forms of amnesia where they lose all sense of who they are. One high-profile example of this is a man who calls himself "Benjaman Kyle" and who is known as the "BK Doe" because he was found, beaten unconscious, by a Burger King. This man, though he has received media exposure, even on the Dr. Phil talk show, remains a living unidentified person. This is devastating, as he can't get a Social Security # and without that, he can't do anything where he can function on his own. To this day, he lives without his name. As he does not know who he is, he does not know who his family is and so he has not re-united with them. I'm sure there a more than a few other people like this.
Finally, there are those who live as unidentified people by choice. I recall, years ago, watching the case of Michelle M., who was accused of embezzlent from the church where she had been employed, got fired when her crime was discovered, and when a warrant went out for her arrest, Michelle vanished. For a few years, her case was treated as a missing persons case, until a law enforcement officer investigating her case received a tip that Michelle has "started a new life" in a certain area; he went there and caught her in the act of fleeing. Therefore, soon after, her missing persons case was closed and she was treated as a "wanted fugitive." It wasn't until over a year later, that Michelle was caught. And there are many other "wanted" fugitives, and people who vanish to flee their home lives, who change their names because they do not want to be identified. Finally, there are those who change their identities, to protect themselves. This happens in instances of domestic violence, or other high-risk situations, where people must live as unidentified people for their own safety.
If you are thinking, as I did a couple of years ago when I knew little about unidentified people, that you can do nothing about this, think again. We can prevent more John and Jane Does by reminding ourselves and others to always take identification with us when we travel any distance, as a precaution so that should something happen to us that would cost us our lives, we can be easily identified. Below this post I will provide links to websites where you can further educate yourselves about the unidentified and see how you can help give these people their names back.
http://doenetwork.org/start.html The Doe Network
This website is for a nonprofit which seeks to identify unidentified people not only in the US, but in Australia and throughout Europe. The Doe Network also works missing persons cases, especially cold cases. This site has a comprehensive database with many, many unidentified people as well as many missing people, who are entered into it from its many service areas.
http://namus.gov/ National Missing and Unidentified Persons System
This is a US database which receives cases of both missing persons cases and unidentified persons cases which are entered into it.
http://missing-and-unidentified.org/ Porchlight Missing and Unidentified
This is a website for a nonprofit that searches for missing people as well as seeks to identify the unidentified person cases that are entered into its database. This site is a comprehensive, attractive and excellent site.
http://canyouidentifyme.blogspot.com/ Can You Identify Me?
This is a blogspot with almost all unidentified persons, with cases featured in a narrative form with forensic drawings for every narrative and case; it was here that I first became aware of unidentified people and educated myself about them.
Why do people, at any point in their lives, end up losing their names? One big reason for way too many long-term unidentified (especially over 15 years), is because in the inability to use DNA in missing persons or criminal investigations (this very same factor is the reason for so many past wrongful convictions and inability to catch actual criminals). Many of these long-term unidentified may likely never be unidentified, unless "people begin to talk." This inability to use DNA in the past is the same reason for so many long-term missing people. What does this add up to? For so many families of the missing, this amounts to a whole lot of anguish, anxiety, lack of answers and devastation! It isn't because advocates, volunteers, law enforcement and families aren't trying hard enough to solve these missing or unidentified cases. Most are working overtime for this resolution! The sad fact is that many of these cases are extremely difficult to solve, unless or until we can reach those who hold the key (s) to solving the puzzle.
People end up unidentified because they fail to carry any identification with them ( such as ID's, cell phones, travel passports, credit cards, medical alert information, or the like) when they travel, even out of their states or their countries. Then, if something happens to them and they end up dead, whether by accident, injury, murder or otherwise, no one is able to identify them. What does this means for us? Everything! Any of us can end up as John or Jane Does, if we leave our counties, our states or even our countries, and something happens to us, which costs us our lives, yet no one can identify us. Does anyone reading this want to put their families through the pain and devastation of never finding us or knowing what has happened to us, because something has happened that cost us our lives but we can't be identified? Of course not, unless you are holding ill will against your family for some reason. To prevent more John and Jane Does, we need to remember, when traveling any distance, especially long distance, to take with us items that can identify us (Ex.: I do NOT include the Social Security # in this because of the danger of identity theft).
Many murder victims become unidentified because their murderers seek to destroy any evidence, to evade prosecution and prison, or even to "finish up" their crimes, ensuring that their victims not be identified. These killers do this by removing anything that can identify their victims, even though their victims may be found. Take the sad case of 4-year-old little Marc Anthony Bookal, whose poor little body was found but who remained unidentified for weeks, no doubt because his killer had gotten rid of anything that could easily identify this poor child. There is the heartbreaking case of the young lady, Mitrice Richardson, whose body was reportedly found weeks before it was identified as hers. Her death has never been solved, but isn't very possible that she was murdered and her killer(s) had gotten rid of anything that could identify her (True, Mitrice had not had anything with her when she had vanished). More recently, there is the sad case if little 8-year-old Camden Hughes, whose poor little body was found but not easy to identify, likely because his killer had gotten rid of any identifying markers.
And then there are the living unidentified, the small but significant monority among this population. Who are these living unidentified? These people end up without their names for various reasons: family dysfunctions where, to "cover their behinds," families will "hide" children who are conceived in disreputable circumstances, such as rape, love affairs, or teen pregnancies). Recently, the case of the "love child" of the former California Governor, Arnold Schwarzeneggar, illustrates this. That little boy had to live 10 years without revealing his identity, so his his biological dad's misdeeds could be covered up. But, at least in the media, I have never heard the scandal ever discussed from this child's perspective and what it means to him.
Living people end up unidentified when they are abducted and their abductors, to cover up the crime, forces them to adopt aliases to conceal who they really are and so they can evade prosecution and prison. For most of the 18 years of her abduction, Jaycee Dugard had to go by the name "Alyssa" so her abductors could evade consequences for their acts. For 4 years, Shawn Hornbeck had to go by the name "Shawn Devlin" which is his abductor's last name. Steven Staynor, who was abducted during the 1960's, for 7 years, was made to go by so many different aliases, that he almost forgot his name! In other cases, abducted children are raised by their abductor or are trafficked in "black market" adoptions, where they are given new name & identities so they will not be "discovered" or learn who they really are. I'm sure that this goes on more than we realize and some of us may, without knowing it, know suuch unidentified individuals! Recently, I read a sad book called BEAUTIFUL CHILD, about a woman who was abducted very early in life. Her abductor gave her an alias to conceal her true identity as Sharon and this woman had spent her entire life, from the point of her abduction on, until her tragic death, living as an unidentified person.
One reason people become unidentified is because of some forms of amnesia where they lose all sense of who they are. One high-profile example of this is a man who calls himself "Benjaman Kyle" and who is known as the "BK Doe" because he was found, beaten unconscious, by a Burger King. This man, though he has received media exposure, even on the Dr. Phil talk show, remains a living unidentified person. This is devastating, as he can't get a Social Security # and without that, he can't do anything where he can function on his own. To this day, he lives without his name. As he does not know who he is, he does not know who his family is and so he has not re-united with them. I'm sure there a more than a few other people like this.
Finally, there are those who live as unidentified people by choice. I recall, years ago, watching the case of Michelle M., who was accused of embezzlent from the church where she had been employed, got fired when her crime was discovered, and when a warrant went out for her arrest, Michelle vanished. For a few years, her case was treated as a missing persons case, until a law enforcement officer investigating her case received a tip that Michelle has "started a new life" in a certain area; he went there and caught her in the act of fleeing. Therefore, soon after, her missing persons case was closed and she was treated as a "wanted fugitive." It wasn't until over a year later, that Michelle was caught. And there are many other "wanted" fugitives, and people who vanish to flee their home lives, who change their names because they do not want to be identified. Finally, there are those who change their identities, to protect themselves. This happens in instances of domestic violence, or other high-risk situations, where people must live as unidentified people for their own safety.
If you are thinking, as I did a couple of years ago when I knew little about unidentified people, that you can do nothing about this, think again. We can prevent more John and Jane Does by reminding ourselves and others to always take identification with us when we travel any distance, as a precaution so that should something happen to us that would cost us our lives, we can be easily identified. Below this post I will provide links to websites where you can further educate yourselves about the unidentified and see how you can help give these people their names back.
http://doenetwork.org/start.html The Doe Network
This website is for a nonprofit which seeks to identify unidentified people not only in the US, but in Australia and throughout Europe. The Doe Network also works missing persons cases, especially cold cases. This site has a comprehensive database with many, many unidentified people as well as many missing people, who are entered into it from its many service areas.
http://namus.gov/ National Missing and Unidentified Persons System
This is a US database which receives cases of both missing persons cases and unidentified persons cases which are entered into it.
http://missing-and-unidentified.org/ Porchlight Missing and Unidentified
This is a website for a nonprofit that searches for missing people as well as seeks to identify the unidentified person cases that are entered into its database. This site is a comprehensive, attractive and excellent site.
http://canyouidentifyme.blogspot.com/ Can You Identify Me?
This is a blogspot with almost all unidentified persons, with cases featured in a narrative form with forensic drawings for every narrative and case; it was here that I first became aware of unidentified people and educated myself about them.
Friday, January 6, 2012
Please Help Us Come Home, We Are Missing!
Missing. Vanished. Disappeared. Lost. Gone. These are scary, ugly words that describe people who, for various reasons, find themselves unfortunate enough to become unaccounted for and are not able to be found without help. It seems that, if we follow the news, especially online, that we see one case after another, of men, women, and children who vanish. Those of us who operate in the "world of the missing," whether as family members, professionals, volunteers or advocates, see literally one person after another, be reported as missing. And this does not take into consideration all of those who are not even reported as missing! People of all ages, and from all walks of life, of all races and ethnicities, go missing. Boys are as likely to vanish as girls; men are as likely to disappear as women. Having a missing loved one can happen to anyone at any time.
I have "friended" many profiles on Facebook, that have been set up for missing people and they make up roughly half of my social network; these profiles are set up by family members and advocates, so missing persons posts show up on my homepage with alarming and heartbreaking frequency. It is the case of Lindsey Baum, who is pretty close in age to my own daughter, who got me fired up about this issue. Lindsey, who vanished on June 26, 2009, was almost 11 at the time and is still missing! Missing people are likely to never go away, nor the need for awareness. And for the sake of those who are not familiar with missing people, let me explain the issues surrounding them and how they apply to all of us and why this concerns us all.
The first, and most simple reason people go missing is miscommunication about whereabouts. When, in any situation, one of us fails to let others know where we are going and where we can be reached, whether we are going for a few blocks, a few milies, out of our country, or even our state or country, it is possible for others to "lose us." For example, about three years ago, the media covered a heartbreaking story of couple in an affluent neighborhood who "lost" their baby because each parent assumed their child was with the other parent (and so was safe). Tragically, the child had vanished and his poor little body was found. This was all because of a misunderstanding, and don't we all have those? I know I do! But this couple was unfortunate enough to pay for theirs by the loss of a child. And this sort of missing person scenario is probably more common that we will ever know; isn't this one more incentive for communicating, especially concerning whereabouts, ours or others' in our care?
A second reason people, both children and even adults, go missing is because they run away, that is they vanish by choice. Most missing people, especially minors, we are told, are runaways. Though most are found safe, many other runaways encounter foul play as they go on the run; they may end up raped or even murdered; most who run into foul play become victims of human trafficking, especially in the teen years. Thrownaways, those who are not reported as missing, also are just as much at-risk as runaways, of running into foul play. Human trafficking is a big issue surrounding missing people, as many of them are believed to be in the sex slavery trade (not the only form of human trafficking, which includes adoption trafficking or domestic servitude). Since many of us are parents of children ages 10-25 (considered to be most at-risk of becoming victims of human trafficking), we ought to be very concerned about this matter. This is a depraved, sick industry and it is a powerful incentive to drill into children that running away is NOT the solution to problems at home; it is also a big incentive to create a home balanced with the right mix of love and discipline so they the young will not even want to run away! For runaways cannot be assumed to be safe, though most missing children who are found safe, are runaways. And running away is not confined to children. Adults have also been known to vanish willingly. A few years ago, I read a book called EXIT THE RAINMAKER, written by a woman whose husband ran away, and began a "new life" in Europe, moving from country to country. There is the high-profile case of a boyfriend of the singer Olivia Newton-John, who vanished for many years and was found safe, though it was revealed that he ran off, starting his "new life" abroad also. Tiffany Tehan is the most recent cases; an active parishioner and a mother, she ran off and was found with a man. We adults also need to lead by example, showing the young that running away from problems is not the way to solve anything. By facing our adult responsibilities, including caring for these children, jobs, homemaking, bills, or whatever we are called to do, we show them that running away is "uncool." And we spare loved ones and our communities unneeded anxiety, anguish as well as expenses of looking for us. We may even be saving our own lives!
Many children vanish because of family abductions where the non-custodial parent (who does not have child custody) kidnaps them and harbors them unlawfully, often out of vindictiveness toward the other parent and as a way to "get back at" them. This kidnapped child is normally found safe but cannot be assumed to be so, especially when the non-custodial parent is known to be abusive, as in the high-profile, recent, sad case of little 8-year-old Aja (pronounced Asia) Johnson, who was taken by her stepfather and was found dead (He had killed his ex-wife, Aja's mother beforehand). Years ago, I saw the tear-jerker, "When Andrew Came Home," about a 6-year-old boy who was kidnapped by his non-custodial father, and was found 5 years later. However, as often haapens in the case of parental abductions, his father had turned Andrew against his mother, so he came home with deep fear and hate toward her. Fortunately, that story has a happy ending. Sadly, not only do such children come home, brainwashed, but sometimes the custodial parent never sees them again. We parents need to realize that, even if our partner hurts us, using a child to "even the score" solves nothing!
And then people, especially children, teens and young adults, vanish because they are abducted by acquaintances or by strangers. In this case, the missing person is more likely to be found dead and what happens to them normally happens within the first three hours. Abductors may take their victims to hold them captive, whether for a few minutes, a few hours, a few days, for months or even years, and this is when they are likely to be found alive. Long-term kidnapping survivors, like Elizabeth Smart, found alive after 9 months, or Jaycee Dugard, who was found alive after 18 years, are notable exceptions. People who vanish because of abductions are in the minority of the total number of missing people. We have many resources today to protect our children from such abductions, though there are never any 100 percent guarantees. We can be thankful for the AMBER ALERT program, limited as it is, as it covers only children whose abductions are witnessed, who are officially believed by law enforcement to be in bodily danger, and who are 17 or under (in my home state, age 16 is the cut-off age).
Domestic violence is another big reason for missing people. A common scenario, which we hear about too often in the news, is when a parent, partner, or spouse abuses a family member to death and then makes the murder look like something else, like suicide or a mysterious disappearance. The only way we can deal with this one is to manage our anger (often easier said than done) and to find ways to prevent and end all forms of abuse in our communities. So much has been said about child abuse and spousal abuse that I need not go into it here.
A final reason that people of all ages vanish is because they have special needs, especially cognitive differences, like amnesia, strokes, dementias, mental illness, autism, suicidal urges,or other such issues, that causes them to "wander off" or to "elope" where they are at-risk of bodily harm or foul play. Disabilities are often a big issue that surround missing people, but I fear that it is seen as a separate issue, for some reason. The only answer I see for this is to seek to protect such people in such a way that takes into consideration their special situations while giving them some measure of independence. Yes, this is easier said than done!
The point? We should ALL be concerned about missing people. Those of us who are blessed not to have missing loved ones MUST realize that this can happen to anyone at any time; any person with a missing loved one will likely tell you that they, at one time, didn't think it would happen to them, either.
Below I provide links to helpful resources and I hope you will check them out. And if you have a missing loved one, please know that you are not alone and that there are many resources for you and people who care. If you are simply seeking to educate yourself about this, these resources will educate you to toward prevention and reducing your risks of having a loved one vanish. Anf if you want to help, there are options for that, too.
We all can help bring missing people home!
http://www.lostnmissing.com/ Lostnmissing, Inc.
This is the website for a nonprofit which provides comprehensive services for familes with missing loved ones and also educates about prevention of seeing a loved one going missing.
http://www.missingkids.com/ National Center for Missing and Exploited Children
This is the website for a nonprofit which provides comprehensive services for families with missing children with a database for all children in the US who are reported as missing, and provides lots of information, including how to prevent children from going missing.
http://namus.gov/ NAMUS database
This is the US database for ALL missing and unidentified people whose cases have been entered into it. It can be used by law enforcement or by the public; it is considered to be much-underused because people don't know how to use it or don't know about it in the first place.
http://www.lbth.org/ncma/index.php/ Let's Bring Them Home
This is the website for a nonprofit which serves families with missing adult loved ones. It provides a comprehensive database for all adults in the US who are reported as missing.
http://peace4missing.ning.com/ PEACE4 THEMISSING
This is a social networking site which serves people all over the world, and focus their services on families with missing loved ones; it is full of resources, guidance and support if you have a missing loved one. Many victims or survivors of crime or abuse use this site as a platform to seek justice or to connect with others. And then those of us who simply want to help can use the site as a way to make a difference and to care for people without leaving our homes!
http://www,childhelp.org/ Childhelp
This is a website for a nonprofit which provides comprehensive services to prevent and end child abuse in our communities; this site also includes a hotline to reporte child abuse.
http://peasintheirpods.com/ Peasintheirpods Children
This is a website for a nonprofit which serves families of missing minority children, children when usually are underserved.
There are other resources which I'm sure you can add!
I have "friended" many profiles on Facebook, that have been set up for missing people and they make up roughly half of my social network; these profiles are set up by family members and advocates, so missing persons posts show up on my homepage with alarming and heartbreaking frequency. It is the case of Lindsey Baum, who is pretty close in age to my own daughter, who got me fired up about this issue. Lindsey, who vanished on June 26, 2009, was almost 11 at the time and is still missing! Missing people are likely to never go away, nor the need for awareness. And for the sake of those who are not familiar with missing people, let me explain the issues surrounding them and how they apply to all of us and why this concerns us all.
The first, and most simple reason people go missing is miscommunication about whereabouts. When, in any situation, one of us fails to let others know where we are going and where we can be reached, whether we are going for a few blocks, a few milies, out of our country, or even our state or country, it is possible for others to "lose us." For example, about three years ago, the media covered a heartbreaking story of couple in an affluent neighborhood who "lost" their baby because each parent assumed their child was with the other parent (and so was safe). Tragically, the child had vanished and his poor little body was found. This was all because of a misunderstanding, and don't we all have those? I know I do! But this couple was unfortunate enough to pay for theirs by the loss of a child. And this sort of missing person scenario is probably more common that we will ever know; isn't this one more incentive for communicating, especially concerning whereabouts, ours or others' in our care?
A second reason people, both children and even adults, go missing is because they run away, that is they vanish by choice. Most missing people, especially minors, we are told, are runaways. Though most are found safe, many other runaways encounter foul play as they go on the run; they may end up raped or even murdered; most who run into foul play become victims of human trafficking, especially in the teen years. Thrownaways, those who are not reported as missing, also are just as much at-risk as runaways, of running into foul play. Human trafficking is a big issue surrounding missing people, as many of them are believed to be in the sex slavery trade (not the only form of human trafficking, which includes adoption trafficking or domestic servitude). Since many of us are parents of children ages 10-25 (considered to be most at-risk of becoming victims of human trafficking), we ought to be very concerned about this matter. This is a depraved, sick industry and it is a powerful incentive to drill into children that running away is NOT the solution to problems at home; it is also a big incentive to create a home balanced with the right mix of love and discipline so they the young will not even want to run away! For runaways cannot be assumed to be safe, though most missing children who are found safe, are runaways. And running away is not confined to children. Adults have also been known to vanish willingly. A few years ago, I read a book called EXIT THE RAINMAKER, written by a woman whose husband ran away, and began a "new life" in Europe, moving from country to country. There is the high-profile case of a boyfriend of the singer Olivia Newton-John, who vanished for many years and was found safe, though it was revealed that he ran off, starting his "new life" abroad also. Tiffany Tehan is the most recent cases; an active parishioner and a mother, she ran off and was found with a man. We adults also need to lead by example, showing the young that running away from problems is not the way to solve anything. By facing our adult responsibilities, including caring for these children, jobs, homemaking, bills, or whatever we are called to do, we show them that running away is "uncool." And we spare loved ones and our communities unneeded anxiety, anguish as well as expenses of looking for us. We may even be saving our own lives!
Many children vanish because of family abductions where the non-custodial parent (who does not have child custody) kidnaps them and harbors them unlawfully, often out of vindictiveness toward the other parent and as a way to "get back at" them. This kidnapped child is normally found safe but cannot be assumed to be so, especially when the non-custodial parent is known to be abusive, as in the high-profile, recent, sad case of little 8-year-old Aja (pronounced Asia) Johnson, who was taken by her stepfather and was found dead (He had killed his ex-wife, Aja's mother beforehand). Years ago, I saw the tear-jerker, "When Andrew Came Home," about a 6-year-old boy who was kidnapped by his non-custodial father, and was found 5 years later. However, as often haapens in the case of parental abductions, his father had turned Andrew against his mother, so he came home with deep fear and hate toward her. Fortunately, that story has a happy ending. Sadly, not only do such children come home, brainwashed, but sometimes the custodial parent never sees them again. We parents need to realize that, even if our partner hurts us, using a child to "even the score" solves nothing!
And then people, especially children, teens and young adults, vanish because they are abducted by acquaintances or by strangers. In this case, the missing person is more likely to be found dead and what happens to them normally happens within the first three hours. Abductors may take their victims to hold them captive, whether for a few minutes, a few hours, a few days, for months or even years, and this is when they are likely to be found alive. Long-term kidnapping survivors, like Elizabeth Smart, found alive after 9 months, or Jaycee Dugard, who was found alive after 18 years, are notable exceptions. People who vanish because of abductions are in the minority of the total number of missing people. We have many resources today to protect our children from such abductions, though there are never any 100 percent guarantees. We can be thankful for the AMBER ALERT program, limited as it is, as it covers only children whose abductions are witnessed, who are officially believed by law enforcement to be in bodily danger, and who are 17 or under (in my home state, age 16 is the cut-off age).
Domestic violence is another big reason for missing people. A common scenario, which we hear about too often in the news, is when a parent, partner, or spouse abuses a family member to death and then makes the murder look like something else, like suicide or a mysterious disappearance. The only way we can deal with this one is to manage our anger (often easier said than done) and to find ways to prevent and end all forms of abuse in our communities. So much has been said about child abuse and spousal abuse that I need not go into it here.
A final reason that people of all ages vanish is because they have special needs, especially cognitive differences, like amnesia, strokes, dementias, mental illness, autism, suicidal urges,or other such issues, that causes them to "wander off" or to "elope" where they are at-risk of bodily harm or foul play. Disabilities are often a big issue that surround missing people, but I fear that it is seen as a separate issue, for some reason. The only answer I see for this is to seek to protect such people in such a way that takes into consideration their special situations while giving them some measure of independence. Yes, this is easier said than done!
The point? We should ALL be concerned about missing people. Those of us who are blessed not to have missing loved ones MUST realize that this can happen to anyone at any time; any person with a missing loved one will likely tell you that they, at one time, didn't think it would happen to them, either.
Below I provide links to helpful resources and I hope you will check them out. And if you have a missing loved one, please know that you are not alone and that there are many resources for you and people who care. If you are simply seeking to educate yourself about this, these resources will educate you to toward prevention and reducing your risks of having a loved one vanish. Anf if you want to help, there are options for that, too.
We all can help bring missing people home!
http://www.lostnmissing.com/ Lostnmissing, Inc.
This is the website for a nonprofit which provides comprehensive services for familes with missing loved ones and also educates about prevention of seeing a loved one going missing.
http://www.missingkids.com/ National Center for Missing and Exploited Children
This is the website for a nonprofit which provides comprehensive services for families with missing children with a database for all children in the US who are reported as missing, and provides lots of information, including how to prevent children from going missing.
http://namus.gov/ NAMUS database
This is the US database for ALL missing and unidentified people whose cases have been entered into it. It can be used by law enforcement or by the public; it is considered to be much-underused because people don't know how to use it or don't know about it in the first place.
http://www.lbth.org/ncma/index.php/ Let's Bring Them Home
This is the website for a nonprofit which serves families with missing adult loved ones. It provides a comprehensive database for all adults in the US who are reported as missing.
http://peace4missing.ning.com/ PEACE4 THEMISSING
This is a social networking site which serves people all over the world, and focus their services on families with missing loved ones; it is full of resources, guidance and support if you have a missing loved one. Many victims or survivors of crime or abuse use this site as a platform to seek justice or to connect with others. And then those of us who simply want to help can use the site as a way to make a difference and to care for people without leaving our homes!
http://www,childhelp.org/ Childhelp
This is a website for a nonprofit which provides comprehensive services to prevent and end child abuse in our communities; this site also includes a hotline to reporte child abuse.
http://peasintheirpods.com/ Peasintheirpods Children
This is a website for a nonprofit which serves families of missing minority children, children when usually are underserved.
There are other resources which I'm sure you can add!
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