WHERE HOPE BEGINS, by Catherine West

This book is a novel that is written in a Christian genre. As a novel, its content is spread over 32 chapters. There is no Introduction, but there is an Epilogue and a Note from the author. Each chapter begins with a quote. The author ends with Acknowledgements and Discussion Questions. Her Author Bio is on the last page of this book. According to it, Catherine West lives on the Island of Bermuda and writes material similar to this book. Few details about the author are available.

I just finished this book. It held my interest fro beginning to end. The author addresses some sensitive and uncomfortable issues. God and His presence are all over this book though His Name is seldom mentioned. Through the various plots, she address the grieving the death of a young child, adult suicide, teen suicide, terminal illness and divorce. I found myself wanting to know what happened next. Not surprisingly, there was a happily ever after ending with most of the issues resolving themselves. The issues are definitely true to life, as all of them are prevalent issues that many families deal with. However, all the novel's characters worked through their issues, very unlike real life where, in many instances, many issues never are resolved in this life. But at the same time, would we really want t read a book where the author does not give it a happy ending?

I recommend this book for everyone who likes to read novels. Non-Christians will like the absence of too much "God talk" but the message in this novel will resonate. This book will resonate with Christians also even though some will wish there were more references to God and Christ.

I have received a complimentary copy of this book in exchange for my honest review of this book. I was not required to give a favorable review of this book.

Suicide, Mental Illness & Depression: How Should We respond?

If you have been listening to the news at all, you have some knowledge of the horrific plane crash that killed some 150 people last week. Not one person survived that awful crash. Many, many lives have forever altered, including hundreds of families. Yes, three Americans were also killed in this crash. We have been learning that this crash was no accident and that the responsible party was the co-pilot. He had deliberately crashed this plane.

The Responsible Co-pilot and Mental Illness

In these past few days, as the investigation of the co-pilot in that plane crash has begun, the media has let out more ad more details of the pilot's situation. First of all, he was said to have had a history of "metal health issues" though he seemed likable and pleasant to those who knew him. He was quoted as saying that "I have depression." He would not report his mental health issues, fearing stigma, fearing that he would lose his pilot's license. You may very well think: He would rather risk the lives of 149 people plus his own, rather than stigmatizing himself through self-disclosure? While his attitude and his lie of omission may indeed have been deceptive, why is it that he would have felt the "need" to lie by omission in the first place? He was said to be "unfit to fly." I understand that the FAA had lifted the stigma of mental illness, allowing pilots with a history of mental illness to fly (correct me if I am wrong). Yes, I agree the piloting a plane, with multiple human lives in your hands, is an awesome responsibility. It is a privilege, not a right. He should not even have been put in that position. Clearly we do not want to deny people with depression or a history of mental illness the right to participate in life and to be full citizens and to reach their full potential. But we do not want to put the lives of the public at risk, either. This is much like seizures and driving or eyesight and driving, both which can keep one from driving for purely safety reasons. We may never know all which actually happened in that awful plane crash and what was in that co-pilot's mind or going on in his life. But what a sad, sad waste of human lives and all the permanently altered lives of many families, including his own! What was it all for?

The Faces of Mental Illness and Suicide

Many of us are aware of depression, mental illness and suicide. We just do not talk about these issues in casual conversation and they are subjects that we may speak about in hushed tones. What would cause a co-pilot to protect his pilot license above many human lives, including his own? Last year, I followed a case of a missing mom with two young children. It was not long before her body was found. The death was ruled as a suicide. That troubled me and still troubles me to this day, as this mom had two small children. Her family was not questioning the ruling or challenging law enforcement to re-open their quickly closed investigation, and see if this mom's death may have been a homicide. This mom's case still bothers me. I think many of us are aware of the sad statistic of (how may? fourteen a day?) veterans who end their lives by suicide. I have been visiting a certain website that contains many webpages for those dealing with various mental illnesses. Yes, there are those who deny the existence of mental illness and call it other things, and hold that it is man-made and a brainchild of modern pop psychology. I agree that too often, psychiatric medications may be over-prescribed and these medications may cover up deeper problems that should be addressed through working through issues with a counselor or pastor. But mental illness and depression are not imaginary or man-made and keeping the stigma going through silence, will not solve this problem. It will not keep people like co-pilots from flying when they should not. It will just go underground.

Are Mental Illness and Suicide Matters of Character and Faith?

I read many Christian articles and books. Mental illness and depression are divisive subjects in the Christian community. Some Christian circles see depression and suicide as viable physical illnesses of the mind that should be treated as illnesses. There are other Christians circles that believe that depression and mental illness are matters of faith and character, and should be treated as moral wrongs rather than as illnesses. I agree that some things that we typically call mental illness are not. Should we call overeaters "mentally ill"? I think not. Should we call people who take longer than a month to grieve "mentally ill"? I think not. Should we call children who are disruptive and rebellious "oppositionally defiant"? I wonder about that. Should we call pedophiles "mentally ill" people and treat their lust for children as illness? Hmmmm. It has been estimated that fifty percent of us would be classified as mentally ill, under the current DSM, if we took psychological testing. It is true that the Bible knows nothing of mental illnesses, but the Bible was written before modern science findings, certainly before behavioral science. Does everyone with atypical or extreme personalities have "personality disorders"? We have to admit that psychology is an inexact science and based on subjective observation of behavior, making it vulnerable to criticism by cynics and critics.

How We can Be Part of the Solution

There is no excuse for that co-pilot lying, by omission, about his mental health. Still, reduction of the stigma of depression of mental illness may have identified him so he would have disclosed his situation and have never been able to fly and end the lives of 150 people, including himself. I hate it when these type of stories make headlines, though I know they have to do so, to protect the public and raise awareness. But we can all help and be part of the solution. We can educate ourselves about mental illness, depression, and suicide. We can support nonprofits like Suicide Prevention Lifeline, which serves suicidal people in much of the developed world. We can volunteer for a suicide hotline. We can reach out to people in our lives who may be depressed or suicidal. And if we have faced depression, mental illness, or depression in our lives, we can share our stories. And we can reach out to the Lifeline whose number was presented at the above banner, or refer other people in crisis to it.

This banner is provided by The Suicide Prevention Lifeline, which you can find here.

Depression and Suicide

     Suicide. It seems to be seen as an answer by more and more people as the solution to life's problems. Suicide has always been with us but it seems that more and more people, of all ages, think of or actually turn to suicide as the answer to their problems. Now don't get me wrong. I'm the first to concede that life is often difficult, sad, confusing, disappointing and plain no fun. It doesn't always seem to be worth it. When we feel like that, it is easy to lose the will to live and become depressed. And by depression I don't mean just having a bad day and having "the blues." We all feel that way sometimes. And, when sad things happen, like the loss of loved ones, jobs or other losses, it is normal to feel grief and sadness. The depression I'm talking about here is when people lose interest in living and in the things they normally enjoy and their daily functioning is hindered; it is related to other mental health or mood disorders (and some personality disorders).
     One day, months ago on my Facebook Newsfeed, a post directed me to a link; I visited the news story, which covers a young girl who was found to have hung herself. According to the report, there were no outward events in this girl's life that would have motivated her to end her life. She never reported ever having been bullied, to her parents or to her teachers. According to the report, she was a loner and, though asked to share what was bothering her, she never did. This makes me want to cry out, Why? Why? Why? Will her family ever find answers? I can only hope and pray that a thorough investigation will be done that will uncover what would drive another young girl to end her life in this fashion. Though her parents blame bullying, there is no evidence. But whatever actually gave her the motive to end it all, it was something that was real to her.
     Depression, if left untreated or unaddressed, can lead to suicide. I know that many people think that they know how to handle depressed people and that if they can motivate such individuals to "behave their way" out of it, then their depression will "lift." They will "snap out of" it. What are some of the things often said to even deeply depressed people?
     "Get over it."
     "Think positive thoughts."
     "Stop feeling sorry for yourself. Others have problems."
     "What do YOU have to be depressed about?"
     "Be thankful for what you have."
     "Shame on you for being depressed. If you keep complaining, God will give you something to really cry about."
     "Mind over matter. Tell yourself you're not depressed and good feelings will soon follow."
     "Count your blessings."
     "Think about others' problems. There are others who are less fortunate than you."
     "Think about the starving children in Africa and your depression will vanish."
     "Help others and you will forget about yourself."
     "Chin up: Others don't want to hear about your problems. They have their own."
     "Life sucks. Forget about it and move on."
     "Oh, it isn't so bad; stop being so negative or thin-skinned."
     "Stop talking like that! You know you don't mean it; I don't want to hear it."
     "You think about yourself too much; get busy and you won't have time to get depressed."
     "Oh, things CAN'T be THAT bad!"
     "Have faith and pray. Christians in God's will do not yield to depression."
     And then medication is often seen as addressing depression. In many cases, it may indeed do that. Psychiatric drugs are typically used to treat not only depression, but other mood disorders. Too often, though, I have seen that they have not helped and may even make things WORSE. As I (and my family) have learned through VERY nasty experience, drugs and drug interactions can INCREASE depression and other mental health issues! I fully sympathize with people who fully oppose ANY use of psychiatric drugs to treat depression or other mood disorders but I think they are being extreme. In many cases, good drug treatment intervention can mean the difference between being in a residential home and being fully independent, between homelessness and being employed and living a full life.
      Why is it, though, that suicide is so often being seen as the solution to suffering? Many people will blame it on social networks or on the economy, that life is just harder for people today than it was ten years ago or twenty years ago. It's true that because evildoers have more tools to work with, that their power to hurt and harm people is greater. It's true that a sagging economy does drive people to do desperate things. But, with all our awareness and talk about tolerance and openness, suicides and other tragedies are not getting better and show no signs of going away. I saw a post months ago that declared that  since this past school year  (August or September 2012) had begun, four children have already taken their lives because of school bullying. It seems that awareness, as great as it is, does not seem to be ending suicides among people of all ages.
     As I have already said, suicide has always been with us. And maybe it just SEEMS to be getting worse precisely because we are more aware of it and are hearing more and more about it when people take their lives. It has been surmised that many people, especially the young, feel that they have no where to turn, that this is even worse now because of the lack of family support. I'm sure there is a lot of truth in that. But may I suggest another factor? In past years, we had more of a fear of God and the deep-down knowledge that death is not the end, that following death we will have to stand before our Maker and give an account of every area of our lives. Many of us had it drummed into us that suicide may, indeed, be the "unpardonable sin" because there is no chance to "repent" of it following death. No, I do NOT think suicide is the "unpardonable sin" that Bible mentions, which is willfully rejecting God's forgiveness. But this fear of committing the unpardonable sin as a motivation in not ending our lives, mistaken as it was, had the fortunate effect of saving many lives! And it is forever true, that people thinking of suicide need to know: Death is not a state of nothingness and it is not the end. If we believe the Bible, upon death each of us will have to stand before our Creator and give an account of our lives. This should scare us. This is what "the fear of God" means. It is meant to drive out other fears. I don't want to sound preachy, though I know some will see it this way. It is just something to think about if we imagine that death is the end.
     One week, months ago, I had seen more suicidal posts in my Facebook Newsfeed, more talk about ending it all. It is often not easy to know how to respond to people who talk about wanting to die, especially if repeated attempts to help them seem to not to improve their outlook on life or get them to change their minds and see that life may be worth living, after all. I have seen a few posts by one such person the other day and, gathering sufficient information on this Facebook user, I brought this to the attention of the Facebook Team. However, when I logged into Facebook the following morning, I saw a couple more of such posts by this same person and followed the same steps to bring the posts to the attention of the Facebook Team. I know that others have also been reaching out to this same person and my hope is that the person will get badly needed help. In the course of time, this person had continued to post one dark post after another and, fortunately, a loyal number of Facebook users showed support, care and concern for the person. In time, the person's dark posts became less and less though she still has continued to struggle. Complicating factors included where the person lives and the laws surrounding this person's situation affecting her ability to access treatment. We are not asked the change the world or effect results beyond our control, only to do what we can and to maybe make the world better for a few people around us.
      More recently, a suicidal post streamed in my Facebook Newsfeed and it was a repost by the administrator of the said page. The post got many comments as it seemed to be a post where the person was planning to end his life. I could not find enough information on the person, including his last name or profile information. So when I brought him to Facebook's attention, I do not know what happened. I only know that the suicidal post had been removed. Recently, I have read articles or just headlines, telling of young people who have ended their lives because of bullying. Always I wonder, Will this ever end? A Facebook Ad declares, "Bullying Makes Headlines Far Too Often These Days." Why? One explanation is that life has become so cheap that too many of us see killing as a "solution to our problems." Have an unwanted pregnancy? There's abortion. Have an inconvenient relative who is impossible to live with or who cannot stand to suffer any more? There's death with dignity. So we find it easier to progress down a slippery slope. Can't stand to live with a spouse or a parent one more minute? Have them eliminated! Finally, what if I find life too much to bear? Why not just end it all? Death is more attractive than life.
     I remember, once, hearing that the people group who are least likely to experience depression are the Amish. The Amish people, as most of us know, shun much of modern life as a matter of their religious faith. They, generally speaking, subscribe to old-fashioned values of following God and putting Him first in their lives, are peace-loving and "rough it," rejecting many modern conveniences. Now, I don't advocate that we adopt the Amish way of life to deal with our depression and prevent suicide. But we can learn from the Amish people, in many ways. It's true that they aren't perfect, as is indicated by a memoir by a former Amish person who has written about things done "behind closed doors" by some Amish people. In spite of their imperfections, we can learn from them, to simply life and to put first things first, God and family and to not make an idol out of technology.
     Do social networks make us more depressed or do they just bring out what is already there? I have always maintained that they are neutral and that because social networks are the people that are behind them, that they bring things out in us. There is indeed such a thing as "Facebook depression" and the main reason we experience it is not the social network itself, but the people who are behind it. I know that there is a popular banner that says: "If you have a problem, face it. Don't Facebook it." Another banner says: "Upset? Use your tissues, not your status update." What's the message? People on social networks are generally online to have fun and not to deal with others' problems. And then there is a sarcastic post, rather lengthy, with the message: "Breaking news: Get over it. Deal with it. Everyone has problems. Stop whining. Get over yourself." Yes, there is truth in sayings like these, but when people are truly depressed, that is not the time to say things like this. To tell people, who are hurting from the past or present traumas, to "Get over it," is simply callous and shows ignorance of the human heart. Truth be told, we don't really "get over" the past. It makes us what we are today, depending on how we work through it.
     So what should you do whether, in-person or online, a person indicates that he or she wants to end it all? I have often been confronted with such persons, both in-person and online and I know that this week will not be my last time. In my church, on the front table, are little cards bearing the classic banner and number for the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. It is always upsetting and scary to be confronted with someone who talks about ending it all. It make us responsible and the person's life is, in a sense, in our hands. In times like this, the ordinary rules of privacy give way to doing what is needed to get the person out of harm's way, even if it means calling local authorities at 9-1-1 or contacting a suicide hotline. And what if you yourself are the one having suicidal thoughts? As one who is encountering and hearing about suicidal people, more and more, I have to provide resources for you, for this means that you are possibly dealing with more of it also.
     Suicide, like other human problems, is everyone's business.
    
    
The Suicide Prevention LifeLine This is the comprehensive website for a nonprofit that is dedicated to the awareness of and prevention of suicide among people of all ages and from all walks of life. Upon visiting the site, a suicidal person will find a live chat feature that has daytime hours. There are helpful links to other resources, all over the USA and other parts of the world, where people can turn to for suicide prevention and crisis counseling. There are links to resources where suicidal content seen on popular social networking sites can be brought to the attention of authorities, or those in charge of these social networking sites. They have a hotline that is available 24/7, with trained crisis counselors:
1-800-273-TALK (8255).

http://facebook.com/help/?faq=103883219702654
This is Facebook's comprehensive list of resources, inside and outside the USA, that deal with suicide awareness and prevention and provide practical help for persons in crisis in their local areas.

http://www.facebook.com/facebook.com/help/contact/?id=305410456169423&refid=22
This is the form where we bring to the Facebook Team information about suicidal content that we see posted on Facebook.
                                                   Photo courtesy of The Suicide Prevention LifeLine

Depression and Suicide

     Suicide. It seems to be seen as an answer by more and more people as the solution to life's problems. Suicide has always been with us but it seems that more and more people, of all ages, think of or actually turn to suicide as the answer to their problems. Now don't get me wrong. I'm the first to concede that life is often difficult, sad, confusing, disappointing and plain no fun. It doesn't always seem to be worth it. When we feel like that, it is easy to lose the will to live and become depressed. And by depression I don't mean just having a bad day and having "the blues." We all feel that way sometimes. And, when sad things happen, like the loss of loved ones, jobs or other losses, it is normal to feel grief and sadness. The depression I'm talking about here is when people lose interest in living and in the things they normally enjoy and their daily functioning is hindered; it is related to other mental health or mood disorders (and some personality disorders).
     Today, a post directed me to a link; I visited the news story, which covers a young girl who was found to have hung herself. According to the report, there were no outward events in this girl's life that would have motivated her to end her life. She never reported ever having been bullied, to her parents or to her teachers. According to the report, she was a loner and, though asked to share what was bothering her, she never did. This makes me want to cry out, Why? Why? Why? Will her family ever find answers? I can only hope and pray that a thorough investigation will be done that will uncover what would drive another young girl to end her life in this fashion. Though her parents blame bullying, there is no evidence. But whatever actually gave her the motive to end it all, it was something that was real to her.
     Depression, if left untreated or unaddressed, can lead to suicide. I know that many people think that they know how to handle depressed people and that if they can motivate such individuals to "behave their way" out of it, then their depression will "lift." They will "snap out of" it. What are some of the things often said to even deeply depressed people?
     "Get over it."
     "Think positive thoughts."
     "Stop feeling sorry for yourself. Others have problems."
     "What do YOU have to be depressed about?"
     "Be thankful for what you have."
     "Shame on you for being depressed. If you keep complaining, God will give you something to really cry about."
     "Mind over matter. Tell yourself you're not depressed and good feelings will soon follow."
     "Count your blessings."
     "Think about others' problems. There are others who are less fortunate than you."
     "Think about the starving children in Africa and your depression will vanish."
     "Help others and you will forget about yourself."
     "Chin up: Others don't want to hear about your problems. They have their own."
     "Life sucks. Forget about it and move on."
     "Oh, it isn't so bad; stop being so negative or thin-skinned."
     "Stop talking like that! You know you don't mean it; I don't want to hear it."
     "You think about yourself too much; get busy and you won't have time to get depressed."
     "Oh, things CAN'T be THAT bad!"
     "Have faith and pray. Christians in God's will do not yield to depression."
     And then medication is often seen as addressing depression. In many cases, it may indeed do that. Psychiatric drugs are typically used to treat not only depression, but other mood disorders. Too often, though, I have seen that they have not helped and may even make things WORSE. As I (and my family) have learned through VERY nasty experience, drugs and drug interactions can INCREASE depression and other mental health issues! I fully sympathize with people who fully oppose ANY use of psychiatric drugs to treat depression or other mood disorders but I think they are being extreme. In many cases, good drug treatment intervention can mean the difference between being in a residential home and being fully independent, between homelessness and being employed and living a full life.
      Why is it, though, that suicide is so often being seen as the solution to suffering? Many people will blame it on social networks or on the economy, that life is just harder for people today than it was ten years ago or twenty years ago. It's true that because evildoers have more tools to work with, that their power to hurt and harm people is geater. It's true that a sagging economy does drive people to do desperate things. But, with all our awareness and talk about tolerance and openness, suicdes and other tragedies are not getting better and show no signs of going away. I saw a post the other day that, since this school year has begun, four children have already taken their lives because of school bullying. It seems that awareness, as great as it is, does not seem to be ending suicides among people of all ages.
     As I have already said, suicide has always been with us. And maybe it just SEEMS to be getting worse precisely because we are more aware of it and are hearing more and more about it when people take their lives. It has been surmised that many people, especially the young, feel that they have no where to turn, that this is even worse now because of the lack of family support. I'm sure there is a lot of truth in that. But may I suggest another factor? In past years, we had more of a fear of God and the deep-down knowledge that death is not the end, that following death we will have to stand before our Maker and give an account of evey area of our lives. Many of us had it drummed into us that suicide may, indeed, be the "unpardonable sin" because there is no chance to "repent" of it following death. No, I do NOT think suicide is the "unpardonable sin" that Bible mentions, which is willfully rejecting God's forgiveness. But this fear of committing the unpardonable sin as a motivation in not ending our lives, mistaken as it was, had the fortunate effect of saving many lives! And it is forever true, that people thinking of suicide need to know: Death is not a state of nothingness and it is not the end. If we believe the Bible, upon death each of us will have to stand before our Creator and give an account of our lives. This should scare us. This is what "the fear of God" means. It is meant to drive out other fears. I don't want to sound preachy, though I know some will see it this way. It is just something to think about if we imagine that death is the end.
     This past week, I have seen more suicidal posts in my Facebook Newsfeed, more talk about ending it all. It is often not easy to know how to respond to people who talk about wanting to die, especially if repeated attempts to help them seem to not to improve their outlook on life or get them to change their minds and see that life may be worth living, after all. I have seen a few posts by one such person the other day and, gathering sufficient information on this Facebook user, I brought this to the attention of the Facebook Team. However, when I logged into Facebook the following morning, I saw a couple more of such posts by this same person and followed the same steps to bring the posts to the attention of the Facebook Team. I know that others have also been reaching out to this same person and my hope is that the person will get badly needed help.
     I remember, once, hearing that the people group who are least likely to experience depression are the Amish. The Amish people, as most of us know, shun much of modern life as a metter of their religious faith. They, generally speaking, subscribe to old-fasioned values of following God and putting Him first in their lives, are peace-loving and "rough it," rejecting many modern conveniences. Now, I don't advocate that we adopt the Amish way of life to deal with our depression and prevent suicide. But we can learn from the Amish people, in many ways. It's true that they aren't perfect, as is indicated by a memoir by a former Amish person who has written about things done "behind closed doors" by some Amish people. In spite of their imprefections, we can learn from them, to simply life and to put first things first, God and family and to not make an idol out of technology.
     Do social networks make us more depressed or do they just bring out what is already there? I have always maintained that they are neutral and that because social networks are the people that are behind them, that they bring things out in us. There is indeed such a thing as "Facebook depression" and the main reason we experience it is not the social network itself, but the people who are behind it. I know that there is a popular banner that says: "If you have a problem, face it. Don't Facebook it." Another banner says: "Upset? Use your tissues, not your status update." What's the message? People on social networks are generally online to have fun and not to deal with others' problems. And then there is a sarcastic post, rather lengthy, with the message: "Breaking news: Get over it. Deal with it. Everyone has problems. Stop whining. Get over yourself." Yes, there is truth in sayings like these, but when people are truly depressed, that is not the time to say things like this. To tell people, who are hurting from the past or present traumas, to "Get over it," is simply callous and shows ignorance of the human heart. Truth be told, we don't really "get over" the past. It makes us what we are today, depending on how we work through it.
     So what should you do whether, in-person or online, a person indicates that he or she wants to end it all? I have often been confronted with such persons, both in-person and online and I know that this week will not be my last time. In my church, on the front table, are little cards bearing the classic banner and number for the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. It is always upsetting and scary to be confronted with someone who talks about ending it all. It make us responsible and the person's life is, in a sense, in our hands. In times like this, the ordinary rules of privacy give way to doing what is needed to get the person out of harm's way, even if it meams calling local authorities at 9-1-1 or contacting a suicide hotline. And what if you yourself are the one having suicidal thoughts? As one who is encountering and hearing about suicidal people, more and more, I have to provide resources for you, for this means that you are possibly dealing with more of it also.
     Suicide, like other human problems, is everyone's business.
    
    
http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org
This is the comprehensive website for a nonprofit that is dedicated to the awareness of and prevention of suicide among people of all ages and from all walks of life. Upon visiting the site, a suicidal person will find a live chat feature that has daytime hours. There are helpful links to other resources, all over the USA and other parts of the world, where people can turn to for suicide prevention and crisis counseling. There are links to resources where suicidal content seen on populat social networking sites can be brought to the attention of authorities, or those in charge of these social networking sites. They have a hotline that is available 24/7, with trained crisis counselors:
1-800-273-TALK (8255).

http://facebook.com/help/?faq=103883219702654
This is Facebook's comprehensive list of resources, inside and outside the USA, that deal with suicide awareness and prevention and provide practical help for persons in crisis in their local areas.

http://www.facebook.com/facebook.com/help/contact/?id=305410456169423&refid=22
This is the form where we bring to the Facebook Team information about suicidal content that we see posted on Facebook.

About Suicide

In the past couple of weeks, I have had very troubling experiences with those who have threatened suicide, once on Facebook and the other on Skype. Last week, my first experience was when I was scrolling through my homepage and I happened to see a post that had been forwarded by another concerned Facebook user who was deperately trying to make sure that the suicidal Facebook user was going to get help. The post I saw sounded like a transparent cry for help by a person who was in desperate pain and who apparently wanted it to end, and wanted to be stopped. The post read something like, (and I'm paraphrasing), "I hate this world. I have a knife to skick in my belly to end my life and the pills to kill and I hope to be dead by tonight."

Much disturbed, I frantically looked up the form offered by Facebook to bring to their administrators' attention suicidal users and their posts so that these users could be protected from themselves and their lives saved. I had visited this suicidal user's profile and she had not posted anything after the suicidal post. I saw a post by the other concerned user, saying to her, "-----, I will have to contact authorities unless I see that you are safe through seeing you post in here." I posted on Facebook, giving out this user's name and location and asking anyone in her area to try to steer her to resources in her area and I posted on group pages, especially ones whose causes were located in her area. After an unsuccessul attempt, I continued to dig up the form, which I recommend to anyone reading this whenever you see any suicidal content on social networks, especially on Facebook, which is easy and quick to fill out:
http://www.facebook.com/help/contact/?id=305410456169423&refid=22. And I copied and pasted the suicidal post in question. I also brought her, her post and her information to the attention of  those who run the Facebook page run by the nonprofit whose nonprofit whose logo I posted here and to promote it, which they ask all their supporters to to do. The Facebook user was outside of the US so those of us who were aware of the situation and trying to help had to try to steer her to resources in her area. I was relieved to see that a certain person, in her friends list, lived in her area and was actively trying to help her. When I brought the post to Facebook's attention, I visited her profile again and others were also showing their concern and keeping in touch with me concerning her.

Soon I received an email from Facebook saying that they were aware of the situation and I was given information about resources in her area, which I posted there. As it was late at night and she had hit the "like" button on my Facebook post alerting people to her crisis, and a friend in her area was trying to get her help, I went to bed. However, the following day, when I resumed efforts to post about my petition and to gather more signatures for it, I saw another suicidal post and I visited her profile. It said something much like the one last night: "I am going to leave this world. I will swallow 200 pills and I will stick a knife in me and I hope I am dead by tonight." And she posted in the comment area: "And this is a promise." I saw another post: "I can just cry; I cannot take life anymore. I just want the pain to end." So, once again, I filled out another form and sent it to the Facebook administrators. Then I spent time on the phone, on the hotline which is on the logo pictured. The crisis counselor on the line asked me her relevant information, which I provided. And she asked me, "And what about you? Do you have any thoughts of suicide? Have you had such thoughts in the past?" I was able to mention that I was dealing with low-grade depression for most of the summer months, and that I had experienced thoughts of suicide in the past (especially during that hideous time when psychiatric medications totally altered my personality in my teens. So, based on my call, I can tell you from experience that when you call this hotline, you can expect an answer.

This experience was emotionally draining but I was satisfied that I was handling it okay and that she was going to be okay. Later, I saw a post that indicated that this Facebook user was with her friend, in her area and this meant that she was not alone. In days to come, I would visit her profile. One day, she did post, "I don't know why you all don't leave me alone; I can do what I want." A few of us posted, in the comments area, that we cared about her too much to let her "do what she wanted to do." Later, she would hit the "like" button when she saw posts and comments on her profile. And I was glad to see her post things like, "Thank you all for your caring." So, even though it was obvious that this Facebook user would need quite a bit of help to come, it seems that she is now getting it and will be okay. Thank You, God.

However, the second person I have most recently dealt with was much different and I wished that I somehow had handled it differently, and others whose feedback I sought, indicated, by their comments, that I could have handled it differenty. Everything had happened rapidly, but it was intense and was much disturbing to me because of its ambiguity, at least to me. I went to answer a friend request that was sitting on my second profile; I normally accept almost all friend requests because of my awareness efforts for my materials, especially my petition on behalf of the autism community. So I accepted this man's friend request. Soon, he appeared on Facebook Chat with me, saying things like, "No one wants to be my friend." I assured him that I wanted to befriend him.

He would ask me if I would do something "big" for him, which made me apprehensive, and I revealed this. He said, "You don't want to be friends either. You're like the rest." I assured him of my good will and that others would befriend him, if he gave them the chance. Then he said, "Please add me on Skype" and he gave me his Skype username.

In a little while, he answered my "contact request" on Skype and we began the conversation. He then said, "Why don't you have your webcam going? I want you to go on Video Chat with me. I want to see you." I told him that I did not Chat with anyone by means of video, that I was not then presentable, as I was in my pajamas, among other things and that this had nothing to do with him. He remained totally unconvinced. "Promise me that you will always be my best friend," he said. "I will always be friends, " I assured him. I was NOT prepared to pledge to a stranger unending "best friendship" but I was willing to befriend him as a person in need. We conducted most of this conversation through typing, from the beginning to the end of this conversation.

He turned on his video, even though, on Facebook Chat earlier, he had told me that he was a "disabled person," a "cripple" and could not breathe. This was getting scary; why was he going on Skype video Chat if he was unable to breathe or "barely speak," as he had earlier told me? Did he just have ulterior motives, to "come on to me" by guilt-mongering and manipulation?

"You are just like the others; you don't want to be friends or you would video chat with me and show me that you're best friends," he protested. He did not buy my reassurances: "I can't deal with this, you don't want me, I'm struggling to breathe, no one cares. I'm just going to take my morphine and be done with it, see if heaven or hell wants me."

Unfortunately, I was distraught and disturbed by this and I was unsure if this was a credible suicide threat; I did not have the suicide hotline number available. He kept saying, "Why won't you video chat with me? Why can't I see you? You said we could be best friends forever? See, you don't care, either!" And then he said, "Can't even get a friend my life's over."

He kept begging me to turn on my video so he could see me. "You think I'm a pervert and a dirty person, I know you think that of me." Despite my doubts about what or who he was at that point, I assured him that I was not judging him to be such a person, that he was taking my refusal to turn on Video Chat the wrong way.

Unconvinced, he declared, "Let's see if God wants me." Unnerved, I called on a family member and her boyfriend, and my husband, about this and they just said, "He is coming on to you, blackmailing you and bluffing you. Just delete him." But I could not just dismiss him. What if this was the real thing? I would never forgive myself! When I returned to Skype, I saw his Skype post, "I'm scared; I need your help." Frankly, I was not thinking clearly and it was late at night; I saw that he was no longer online. I typed, "I don't know if this is a cedible suicidal threat or if you are bluffing me." My husband intervened and, later, when I visited Skype, I saw that I was no longer in his contact list and again had the Skype prompt to "Add this person to your contact list," and the question mark icon where his photo had appeared only minutes ago. He has removed me from his contact list, indicating that he was angry that I was not taken in by his manipulation. And when I visited Facebook, I saw that I could not find him in a search, indicating that he had removed me from his Facebook social network, too. I did contact the National Suicide Lifeline nonprofit Facebook page, bringing him to their attention and seeking their feedback.

Feeling that I somehow had failed this person and yet seeking feedback and hping for reassurance that I had done what I could, I posted a lengthy status update about the exchange with his posts which had upset me, which I copied and pasted, posting it as a status update on my first profile. Then, knowing I needed to get to bed because of today's commitments, I retired for the night. When I woke up in the morning, I checked responses to my last night's status update on both my profiles. On the second profile, more of the responses assured me that I probably had done what I could and that the person seemed to be bluffing me. However, I got a few comments on this account, and more of such comments on my first account, that indicated that people believed that I could have done things differently, such as leaving him the suicide hotline number that is in the pictured logo, that I should have "kept him on the line," that I could have tried to get his information and contacted Facebook. One or two people stated that whether this Facebook user was bluffing or not was beside the point, that I could have and should have operated on the presumption that it was a suicidal threat, and acted accordingly.

I share these two very recent stories because I know that most of us, in person and online, will no doubt encounter people who will threaten suicide, whether it is bluffing or genuine. Yes, even though I'm fairly sure the second person I have just described was likely blackmailing me to get his own way for his own reasons, and I am unsure if I handled it properly, I know that I have no option but to leave him in God's hands and pray that he will be safe and get help for whatever his issues are that cause him to be so mentally unbalanced. And these are by no means my first or only experiences with encountering such individuals. And I'm sure that they won't be the last, sadly. As I mentioned earlier, in my teen years, I was placed on a dangerous combination of psychaitric drugs which totally altered my mental faculties, altered my personality and greatly aggravated my social issues. And during this time, which I count as the darkest years of my entire life, my total personality change resulted in behavior that makes me cringe today to even think about and which cannot be shared publicly as it would forever stigmatize me. And yes, I was deeply depressed and suicidal but it was more a cry for help. And praise God, my wonderful family and a handful of adults had tried to understand.

Besides that, other family members and another one of my friends, in-person, had threatened suicide and, while these threats fortunately were never carried out, I would have wished that my family and I had been much more educated about how to deal with suicide and how to handle people whom we suspect to be serious about ending their lives and how to get them help. However, today we have many more tools to educate ourselves about suicide and to deal with it and to get help for others or even ourselves, if we get thoughts of suicide. The National Suicidal Prevention Lifeline has a wealth of information and resources on their website which everyone reading this ought to take the time to visit: http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org.

Facebook provides a wealth of national and international resources to prevent suicide:
http://www.facebook.com/help/?faq=103883219702654

And, again, here is the link to the form where you can bring suicidal people on social networks to Facebook's attention: http://www.facebook.com/help/contact/?id=305410456169423&refid=22

With knowledge, awareness, involvement and compassionate caring of people, suicide is preventable.

1-800-273-TALK (8255) And My Thoughts on Suicide and Life

           Suicide. It is not a topic we like to talk about, like so many other crucial topics. It is all too easy, when people make suicidal remarks, to ignore these remarks or to tell them, "Oh, you should not even think about doing that." On Facebook, months ago, it was brought to my attention that an individual in my network had posted a status update that contained thinly-veiled suicidal references and mentioned about being "in Heaven" or something to that effect. I had not seen that post until another person mentioned that "We need to love each other better" and mentioned how this person did not get enough comments on his suicidal post (thank God, the person seems to be doing okay and occasionally posts on Facebook). But it causes me to think how we need to show each other that we care, listen to each others' concerns and not wait for a tragedy to happen. By then it can be too late!
        In the world of pop music, there are songs that casually allude to suicide. There is the "Don't Fear the Reaper" song with lyrics that make suicide appear to be an option to dealing with life when it gets to hard. In the world of so-called medicine, the late Dr. Jack Kavorkian lived to promote his particular brand of physician-assisted suicide. And over and over again, the media bring to us the heart-wrenching stories of children and young people who take their own lives as a result of the vicious bullying they experience. And suicide contributes to the epidemic of missing and unidentified people.
        In my own life, I was midiagnosed with "anxiety disorder" because the autism spectrum disorder" diagnosis (another topic) did not exist. Aside from having to take medications for to control epileptic seizures, when I was in my teens, psychiatrists placed me on a number of "anti-anxiety" drugs that produced in me deep depression, bizarre physical symptoms and, ultimately, erased inhibitions that resulted in behavior that, to this day, I cringe to even think about. And I entered the mental health system, and had suicidal thoughts because of these medication side effects, the way I responded to these meds and the way people responded to me. Because of my misdiagnosis and the inappropriate interventions I was subjected to for almost all my youth, I am much sensitized to the stigma of things like mental illness and other related disorders.
       Yes, I know that there are many other issues that surround suicide, like bullying (another topic I want to cover later), addictions, eating disorders, crime, domestic violence, human trafficking, and more, including, as already mentioned, mental illness and missing/unidentified people. Oh, and I should mention homelessness. I'm sure you can add others I have not thought of.
       There is a fine organization that exists to prevent and end suicide through education, intervention and a 24-hour hotline. The organization is called National Suicide Prevention Hotline "1-800-273-TALK (8255)." This hotline is available 24 hours a day and, according to posts I have seen on their Facebook page, you may not be able to reach anyone right away, due to the number of other callers. But you should ultimately be able to get through. This service is available to the public.
      You can get to their Facebook page at: https://www.facebook.com/800273TALK
      Now let's get more positive here. I don't want to end this on such a gloomy, doomy note. For no matter how grim, discouraging, or even hopeless things may look, know that you have a Creator and He loves you and has a plan for you. You may not be able to see it now. Whatever you believe about God, killing, including killing one's self, is no answer to solving any problem. I feel for the families and friends of those who have lost loved ones to suicide and, months ago, I actively advocated for the families of soldiers who have lost their lives to suicide, that they should receive condolence letters from the US government, same as all the other families of troops who have given their lives for our freedoms. Like the person in my network posted earlier this year, we need to love each other better so that people will not take their lives because they don't feel cared for.
      Life is precious.