Almost since I have begun using social networks, I have noticed a trend that seems, at least in my experienced, to be more pronounced online than in real life. I guess that this is because of the capacity to encounter so many people online than in "real life" and because it is much easier to get rid of unwanted people in our social networks than it is in person. That is what social networks provide the "Remove as Friend" and "Block" options. This trend I'm talking about is the disconcerting practice that many people have of making their online friendships conditional upon not being online friends with anyone whom a Facebook user does not like or considers suspicious.
I remember some warring factions that were raging in the world of the missing, between a certain missing persons nonprofit and another, newer missing persons nonprofit. It was ugly and abusive, petty exchanges were frequently exchanged. The more established nonprofit has always enjoyed a sterling reputation in the world of the missing and are much loved and appreciated by grateful families who are served, or have been served, by this nonprofit. But there was abn ugly faction between this nonprofit and a newer one and I would see a number of posts about how those affiliated with the newer nonprofit were phonies, bullies, and scammers. The CEO of this organization once posted about this nonprofit, naming the names of these individuals and then said, "If anyone has any of thse jokers in your networks, please remove me from your networks." Now, I do not know the facts about any of thse factions so I will not take any sides. I do know that this person was not the only one who was part of this tend of practically telling people who to hang out with in their social networks and who to not hang out with.
That was minor compared to the factions that broke out when this controversial group, Action for Justice (AXJ), sprung on the scene when I was new to social networks. People affiliated with this nonprofit added me as friends and then kept telling me to make their "AXJ" logo my profile photo. At the time, I did not know how to upload photos nor did I have any idea of what AXJ stood for or what they were all about. All I knew was that soon, people in my network were coming out and telling others to remove these AXJ people, all of them, out of their networks, to remain Facebook friends. I frankly did not know what all the fuss was all about. It came out that the CEO of the nonprofit, John Aster, was convicted of child pornography and that he was very controlling of his supporters, who had to do his bidding to stay "with him." I was seeing people on my page come out with posts like, "Do you have anyone with the AXJ logo in your network? Delete them. If you keep any of them, I will remove you from my friends list." Since some of the people who were threatening other users with such deletion seemed like good people and I did not want to lose them, I did my utmost to remove all those who were affiliated with AXJ, from my friends list. They were not showing any support for the causes I was promoting then, anyway. The threats to delete anyone who had AXJ profiles in their networks, contined for awhile before subsiding. Apparently, they were being held accountable for the crimes that they were charged with.
There has been a certain Facebook user who has made it a practice to police this person's friends lists and to "purge" from it anyone that this user counted as hindering this person's passion and cause. I remember that one of the first times that this user issued an ultimatum to delete people was when the AXJ controversy was raging, but this person also undertook another "Facebook friends purge" when this user read an article about the criminal activity about the ex-spouse of a person in this user's friends list. The Facebook user threatened to remove from this person's friends list anyone who kept in their social networks the woman whose ex-spouse was convicted of criminal activity. I thought this Facebook user was being capricious and unfair to that woman and to all other Facebook users who wanted to keep her in their networks. More than once, this person has removed me from this person's friends list because I kept in my networks this user's "enemies." And most recently, this same person has issued an ultimatum, telling everyone who affiliated with a certain nonprofit, to leave her page.
On the very flip side of all this, I have had a terrible experience with a certain nonprofit and I have already written about this experience at length in my blog called, "Scams." To summarize my experience, two years ago, I signed up to volunteer with a nonprofit which enjoys respect and the trust of many in the world of the missing and crime victims. A few people who were then volunteers with this nonprofit, took a special interest in me and I was taken in by their show of interest and I began to share wth them. One of them even named me as her "Sister" on her profile. Since I lacked a sense of belonging and I yearned to belong to something, I willingly applied to volunteer. I should have seen it as a "red flag" when they requested my Social Security Number but they said that they only did criminal background checks when their Google searches on applicants turned up suspicious information. That evening that I learned that I was accepted, I went to work on a second profile (on my husband's computer) for the nonprofit and soon, it got hacked, probably because a certain familly member was over that evening and had been using my computer and had downloaded an unsafe website. The nonprofit was not happy that I could not get to work right away and were pressuring our family to let an out-of-town computer repair person (whom we could not afford) work on the computer from his. I will not go into the ugly conflict that resulted between my husband and this nonprofit, but it resulted in their dismissing me as a volunteer. That was bad enough, but what was worse was when everyone affiliated with this nonprofit was asked to remove me from their official pages. Some went beyond that and also blocked me completely. The point here? There are many in my social networks who remain loyal supporters of this nonprofit and would never have ANY idea that they could or would, engage in what to me is cyberbullying or at least is very close to it! For, to have everyone sever ties with me, bad-mouthing had to have gone on. I will never know what was said about me, or about my spouse, but it was apparently bad enough for their volunteers and staff members to end their communication with me. But have I ever publicly named this nonprofit or threatened to unfriend anyone who supported them? Never. I have often been tempted to "name them and shame them," but I know that this would open me wide to a libel suit from them and anger their many loyal supporters, including many who are family members with missing loved ones.
I know that thse people who issue such ultimatums do have a point, that it does matter who we "keep company with," up to a point. Those of us who are parents discourage our children from associating with peers who would be bad influences on them or undermine the values that we, their parents, are trying to instill in them. And, in a world like this, whether on social networks or in "the real world," we have to work much harder than ever, to keep ourselves and others safe and that often means avoiding suspicious or harmful people and keeping them out of our lives. And whether online or in real life, we have the moral obligation to warn people to keep themselves safe from those whom we know to be harmful or who are suspicious. There are times when names need to be named, people need to be called out and we need to play the role of whistleblower.
But should those whom we don't agree with be treated as enemies, even in the arena of politics or religion? Especially in politics, people's feelings have a way of getting all tied up in it and even the nicest of people can grow nasty and hateful as they espouse their political views. I have seen that over and over. People who are nice, good, decent and moral, leave their civility at the door or even abandon it altogether when they debate politics. Just today, I posted a request to visit, "like" and share one of my Facebook pages. A Facebook user posted something this as a comment: "I do not join or share your material because of what you say about Obama." But that was mild compared to when I posted, earlier this year, the Facebook page called, "Pray for the President." A person posted, "Yes, pray that he will be put out of office." Another time when I shared this page, a Facebook user posted something like, "You don't know who you're supporting, stupid." And, as I have already said in another blog, when I was sending out invites to a Facebook cause called "Join the Fight to Stop Dishonoring the President," a person or two told me, "You are being deleted from my friends list!"
And, on the other side, a Facebook user recently said, "I will be removing from my friends list anyone who supports the Republicans." Months ago, I was sharing a petition with a person who lived outside the US, but I was unaware of this and the "Outside the US?" option was not on the petition, as it is now. That is beside the point of my ugly encounter with this person on Chat. I was having a hard time understanding the content of much of this person's conversation, but I could NOT mistake it when the person grew hostile about both President Obama and me and delared: "I am not about to sign this petition when you refuse to help me with MY project. This man is an evil sociopath who hates (the subjects of the petition) and he wants to see them fail! I hate him and you really think I am going to sign a petition to him! Get out of here!" (Paraphrased) In my household, there have been, and continue to be, often heated, intense debates on politics. I have and continue to hear, the opposition and supporters of the oppostion to our party of affiliation, be referred to by often vile names which are not fit to be repeated here. The point is, we are free to disagree with, and even strongly so, with anyone over politics or anyone else. But we are not free to treat them as enemies and, even worse, insist that others also treat them the same way.
Factions will always be with us, not only in the world of politics or the missing but in every other area of life. But we do need to draw the line between looking out for each other and warning each other from harmful people, and telling people who they can be friends with and support. THe one form of behavior is for adults, the other belongs to middle-school age children.
Showing posts with label Nonprofit Organizations. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Nonprofit Organizations. Show all posts
Friday, August 24, 2012
Saturday, June 9, 2012
Scams
Scams. I'm sure almost all of us have been victims of them. Individuals, groups or organizations take an interest in you, win your trust and when they are satsified that your trust has been won, they move in with their dirty work. Your trust in them won, they take from you what they want (whether your sensitive information or your money, and so forth) and vanish without a trace, not delivering on their promises and leaving you adrift, disillusioned and wondering who to trust.
Online, one of my first such experiences with this was with a nonprofit organization. Before I had started using Facebook, I had never known that this organization existed. Then how did I find out about it? I learned about it through posts from those in my networks, especially those who had close ties to the nonprofit in question. I observed that many people in my network showed support for this nonprofit. I had done community volunteer work offline but never anything online, but over time, I toyed with the idea of joining this nonprofit's "family" of volunteers.
Why had I wanted to get involved with this particular organization in the first place? Aside from the stated mission of this particular nonprofit and my desire to enter a supposedly controlled and supportive situation, to make a difference in the lives of those served by this nonprofit, I craved a sense of belonging and community that were missing from my life. This nonprofit promised to provide that for their volunteers. "Become part of our team and you will find a family!" this nonprofit promised. And I did not feel that I fit in with the kind of people who attended the mainstream suburban congregations that my family and I have visited or placed our memberships in. These kind of people who comprised most of our local, suburban parishes, have been, for the most part, nice, decent, and seemingly upstanding citizens and often devout in their faith. Yet I have seen too little diversity in race, disabilities or walks of life. Most seemed to be more or less affluent and many were in the professional class. From my observations and research, this seems to be the case in so many denominational, local congregations in our suburbs. In such settings, it is hard for so many people among the poor, those with disabilities (visible or invisible), members of racial or ethnic minority groups and others, to feel part of their local faith communities.
Therefore, when several online people with close ties to the nonprofit in question, took an interest in me and showed affection and support, I was thrilled and I felt hopeful that things were coming together. Therefore, I wanted to become one of them and become part of their mission and activities. I liked what they said about their nonprofit and I believed in their cause. Unsure of whether I really could volunteer and whether I would even be accepted as such, I nevertheless decided to take the chance. And so, in the Fall, a year-and-a-half ago, I contacted this nonprofit and I expressed my interest in volunteering for them.
The volunteer co-ordinator, who had been in my social networks almost from the beginning, contacted me through email and sent me the volunteer application to fill out online and send back electronically. On this form, I was asked for my Social Security Number ("very important for a criminal background check") and there also was a question asking about disabilities. I wondered why some of these questions were needed for online work. And was the Social Security Number really needed for a criminal background check? Within hours after I filled out this application and returned it through email, the volunteer co-ordinator called me on the phone for an "intake interview." A day later, I was thrilled when this person called me and, in the course of the conversation, assured me that I had been accepted!
That very night, I set about creating a second, official page for this nonprofit. One by one, each of those who had ties to this nonprofit, added me as a friend to this profile as well as to my original profile. And I busied myself with adding more and more people from my first profile, to this second profile. Soon I was dismayed to discover that that racy, spammy material in the form of a video, was being sent in message form or posted on the pages of those in this new network and in my name! I could see that the people with this nonprofit were, judging from their posted comments, were defending me and doing "damage control" for me. They were insisting that these racy, spammy links and material were the work of hackers and that I was not sending these to anyone. I felt comforted and convinced myself that we could work this out.
However, these spammy links and racy material continued to be sent to my friends on this profile. As the days wore on, it seemed all I was doing was trying to repair the damage coming from my hackers and trying to convince my friends on Facebook that I was NOT sending them ANY of this trash that they were getting in my name. I became more upset and frustrated by this turn of events. What had I ever gotten myself into, signing up for this nonprofit? My family did not support my volunteer efforts for this nonprofit and let me know it. They guessed that I had a computer virus infection and that when another family member had gotten on my computer and clicked suspicious links there, that this may have been paved the way for my hackers to do their dirty work. Maybe. But my phone chats with the volunteer co-ordinator began to break down and I could see that the nonprofit was losing interest in me. One night, I was aghast when this person told me something like, "We have concluded that you are not a fit person for our nonprofit, that you will not help us in our work and that we do not want to deal with someone who is as high-maintenance as you have shown yourself to have been." From this point, the person's phone manner became distant and even cold, and this conversation became a disaster.
The following day, this nonprofit sent me an email, telling me that I was dismissed as a volunteer. I was devastated! When the CEO of this nonprofit contacted me by phone to, in essence, defending this person's nonprofit and convince me of why I was not a fit volunteer, my family got involved, with results that did me no good. When the conversation ended, I sent this CEO an email, making the mistake of attempting to make the case as to why I was a good person for this nonprofit, I got a quick response, accusing me of harassment and ending with a cold, angry, "Don't ever contact us again." One by one, most of those with close ties to this nonprofit removed me from their friends lists and this happened on my original profile as well as my new one. And the one persson, with close ties to this nonprofit and who I believed was becoming a real friend, told me that the entire team had been told to remove me from their official profiles. "But you're on my personal page and I am keeping you there," this person assured me.
However, I was utterly dismayed when I discovered that this very person as well as another who I was feeling bonded with, later the following day, had blocked me completely AND from their personal pages! I knew I was blocked when when I visited my messages inbox on Facebook and both person's names were in black and their profiles were no longer hyperlinked so I could access them. Also, I could no longer reply to their messages. And as for my second, hacked page, Facebook had removed it as it had been reported as a hacked page.
This all happened during December and at the holiday season, which made all of this even more depressing. I entered a depression, feeling helpless, hopeless and adrift, betrayed, disillusioned and wondering who I could trust. Why in the world would everyone with a nonprofit be told to sever all ties with me as though I were a criminal? I had spent hours trying to support this nonprofit and their cause. I would wistfully check my email inbox for messages from this nonprofit, against better knowledge. I sent emails to some of the people who had "unfriended" me, making the case as to why they were being told things about me that were not true, if this was happening. Needless to say, I never received any replies to these emails. One evening, I called the volunteer co-ordinator to appeal to this person. When this person heard my voice, I heard the abrupt click of the phone.
Seeing that my relationships with those with this nonprofit had deteriorated into nothingness, I would pour my heart out to God in my prayer journal, venting to Him all my angry, sad, fearful and betrayed feelings. This experience with this nonprofit brought back all so many of my memories of being misunderstood and bullied by both adults and peers thoughout my youth. My family could take only so much of my venting; I didn't blame them. How did I let myself get talked into a situation like this? Could I ever trust anyone again?
We know that online scams are harder to detect than offline scams. This is because users can hide behind their computer screens do what they want to do. They can escape detection through setting up fake profiles, making claims about themselves not are untrue or grandiose or can hide their identities.
And we are vulnerable to scams when we crave a sense of belonging and community, we are lonely or want an easy, cheap or free way to obtain goods or services. We are vulnerable when we are in need and are looking for someone to "rescue" us or give us answers. And we are vulnerable when the scammers win our trust and make promises to us that they can give us what we want.
I have experienced other scams since my experience with this nonprofit in question. The users who had blocked me, had "refriended" me but things have not ever been the same. These experiences have made me more wary but still, I know that it is easy to fall prey to scammers because there are are always people who will take advantage of the trusting. Currently, in my petition dive on behalf of the autism community and in my quest for support and resources to "beef up" my campaign, I know that I will have to guard against scammers who would make false promises that they would make my petition "go viral" without the needed work to increase the odds that this could happen. And in my offlne life, I have to guard against people who would make promises to grant me answers to my lifetime of my unexplained differences when they are in no way qualified to give me any quality evaluation for my situation.
As it has so often been said, if something sounds too good to be true, it probably is!
Online, one of my first such experiences with this was with a nonprofit organization. Before I had started using Facebook, I had never known that this organization existed. Then how did I find out about it? I learned about it through posts from those in my networks, especially those who had close ties to the nonprofit in question. I observed that many people in my network showed support for this nonprofit. I had done community volunteer work offline but never anything online, but over time, I toyed with the idea of joining this nonprofit's "family" of volunteers.
Why had I wanted to get involved with this particular organization in the first place? Aside from the stated mission of this particular nonprofit and my desire to enter a supposedly controlled and supportive situation, to make a difference in the lives of those served by this nonprofit, I craved a sense of belonging and community that were missing from my life. This nonprofit promised to provide that for their volunteers. "Become part of our team and you will find a family!" this nonprofit promised. And I did not feel that I fit in with the kind of people who attended the mainstream suburban congregations that my family and I have visited or placed our memberships in. These kind of people who comprised most of our local, suburban parishes, have been, for the most part, nice, decent, and seemingly upstanding citizens and often devout in their faith. Yet I have seen too little diversity in race, disabilities or walks of life. Most seemed to be more or less affluent and many were in the professional class. From my observations and research, this seems to be the case in so many denominational, local congregations in our suburbs. In such settings, it is hard for so many people among the poor, those with disabilities (visible or invisible), members of racial or ethnic minority groups and others, to feel part of their local faith communities.
Therefore, when several online people with close ties to the nonprofit in question, took an interest in me and showed affection and support, I was thrilled and I felt hopeful that things were coming together. Therefore, I wanted to become one of them and become part of their mission and activities. I liked what they said about their nonprofit and I believed in their cause. Unsure of whether I really could volunteer and whether I would even be accepted as such, I nevertheless decided to take the chance. And so, in the Fall, a year-and-a-half ago, I contacted this nonprofit and I expressed my interest in volunteering for them.
The volunteer co-ordinator, who had been in my social networks almost from the beginning, contacted me through email and sent me the volunteer application to fill out online and send back electronically. On this form, I was asked for my Social Security Number ("very important for a criminal background check") and there also was a question asking about disabilities. I wondered why some of these questions were needed for online work. And was the Social Security Number really needed for a criminal background check? Within hours after I filled out this application and returned it through email, the volunteer co-ordinator called me on the phone for an "intake interview." A day later, I was thrilled when this person called me and, in the course of the conversation, assured me that I had been accepted!
That very night, I set about creating a second, official page for this nonprofit. One by one, each of those who had ties to this nonprofit, added me as a friend to this profile as well as to my original profile. And I busied myself with adding more and more people from my first profile, to this second profile. Soon I was dismayed to discover that that racy, spammy material in the form of a video, was being sent in message form or posted on the pages of those in this new network and in my name! I could see that the people with this nonprofit were, judging from their posted comments, were defending me and doing "damage control" for me. They were insisting that these racy, spammy links and material were the work of hackers and that I was not sending these to anyone. I felt comforted and convinced myself that we could work this out.
However, these spammy links and racy material continued to be sent to my friends on this profile. As the days wore on, it seemed all I was doing was trying to repair the damage coming from my hackers and trying to convince my friends on Facebook that I was NOT sending them ANY of this trash that they were getting in my name. I became more upset and frustrated by this turn of events. What had I ever gotten myself into, signing up for this nonprofit? My family did not support my volunteer efforts for this nonprofit and let me know it. They guessed that I had a computer virus infection and that when another family member had gotten on my computer and clicked suspicious links there, that this may have been paved the way for my hackers to do their dirty work. Maybe. But my phone chats with the volunteer co-ordinator began to break down and I could see that the nonprofit was losing interest in me. One night, I was aghast when this person told me something like, "We have concluded that you are not a fit person for our nonprofit, that you will not help us in our work and that we do not want to deal with someone who is as high-maintenance as you have shown yourself to have been." From this point, the person's phone manner became distant and even cold, and this conversation became a disaster.
The following day, this nonprofit sent me an email, telling me that I was dismissed as a volunteer. I was devastated! When the CEO of this nonprofit contacted me by phone to, in essence, defending this person's nonprofit and convince me of why I was not a fit volunteer, my family got involved, with results that did me no good. When the conversation ended, I sent this CEO an email, making the mistake of attempting to make the case as to why I was a good person for this nonprofit, I got a quick response, accusing me of harassment and ending with a cold, angry, "Don't ever contact us again." One by one, most of those with close ties to this nonprofit removed me from their friends lists and this happened on my original profile as well as my new one. And the one persson, with close ties to this nonprofit and who I believed was becoming a real friend, told me that the entire team had been told to remove me from their official profiles. "But you're on my personal page and I am keeping you there," this person assured me.
However, I was utterly dismayed when I discovered that this very person as well as another who I was feeling bonded with, later the following day, had blocked me completely AND from their personal pages! I knew I was blocked when when I visited my messages inbox on Facebook and both person's names were in black and their profiles were no longer hyperlinked so I could access them. Also, I could no longer reply to their messages. And as for my second, hacked page, Facebook had removed it as it had been reported as a hacked page.
This all happened during December and at the holiday season, which made all of this even more depressing. I entered a depression, feeling helpless, hopeless and adrift, betrayed, disillusioned and wondering who I could trust. Why in the world would everyone with a nonprofit be told to sever all ties with me as though I were a criminal? I had spent hours trying to support this nonprofit and their cause. I would wistfully check my email inbox for messages from this nonprofit, against better knowledge. I sent emails to some of the people who had "unfriended" me, making the case as to why they were being told things about me that were not true, if this was happening. Needless to say, I never received any replies to these emails. One evening, I called the volunteer co-ordinator to appeal to this person. When this person heard my voice, I heard the abrupt click of the phone.
Seeing that my relationships with those with this nonprofit had deteriorated into nothingness, I would pour my heart out to God in my prayer journal, venting to Him all my angry, sad, fearful and betrayed feelings. This experience with this nonprofit brought back all so many of my memories of being misunderstood and bullied by both adults and peers thoughout my youth. My family could take only so much of my venting; I didn't blame them. How did I let myself get talked into a situation like this? Could I ever trust anyone again?
We know that online scams are harder to detect than offline scams. This is because users can hide behind their computer screens do what they want to do. They can escape detection through setting up fake profiles, making claims about themselves not are untrue or grandiose or can hide their identities.
And we are vulnerable to scams when we crave a sense of belonging and community, we are lonely or want an easy, cheap or free way to obtain goods or services. We are vulnerable when we are in need and are looking for someone to "rescue" us or give us answers. And we are vulnerable when the scammers win our trust and make promises to us that they can give us what we want.
I have experienced other scams since my experience with this nonprofit in question. The users who had blocked me, had "refriended" me but things have not ever been the same. These experiences have made me more wary but still, I know that it is easy to fall prey to scammers because there are are always people who will take advantage of the trusting. Currently, in my petition dive on behalf of the autism community and in my quest for support and resources to "beef up" my campaign, I know that I will have to guard against scammers who would make false promises that they would make my petition "go viral" without the needed work to increase the odds that this could happen. And in my offlne life, I have to guard against people who would make promises to grant me answers to my lifetime of my unexplained differences when they are in no way qualified to give me any quality evaluation for my situation.
As it has so often been said, if something sounds too good to be true, it probably is!
Saturday, March 3, 2012
About Nonprofits, Volunteering, Giving and Being Smart
I'm sure that we all have noticed the sheer number of nonprofit organizations or those who claim nonprofit status. We can see how nonprofits are being set up for every cause imaginable and it does not look like this trend is going to stop. We are asked for donations and are promised that if we give our financial contributions will do great things. We are offered volunteer opportunities and are told that our volunteering will make a tremendous difference for a cause and will change our lives through our becoming part of a dedicated, hard-working, valued team of people. Nonprofits "court" us through seeking to win our trust so that we will support them with our awareness efforts, our donations and our volunteer time, promising us that we will "belong" to their "community."
On social networks, people who run nonprofits as CEO's are who have official volunteer status, now fill the networks, including my own. It seems that the majority of people in my network have ties to nonprofits in some form or other; those who don't seem to be in the minority. I have mixed feeling about having so many people in my network. I appreciate and admire their advocacy and devotion on behalf of their singular passions, causes and missions. But the trade-off for that is the knowledge that while I do well with such folks IF they see that I'm supporting them and their agendas, that this is as far as it goes as far as online friendship goes. I know that any friendship I enjoy with such people is solely based on their causes and agendas and is not about friendship in the strict, social sense. These are people who use social networks for reasons other than social networking which to them is only a means to an end. To me, it is sad that we live in a world that we have to spend so much time and energy meeting needs that we feel that we lack time for friendhip for its own sake.
Whether CEO's of nonprofits or official volunteers (especially if called "senior" volunteers), I have noticed the love, admiration, cameraderie, trust and caring that such people enjoy, especially if their ties are with nonprofits that are highly regarded. And so much of that high regard of some nonprofits, even ones that are not well-established or proved, is based mainly on what these nonprofits promise or claim they do or will do. I have visited many sites and have seen "Donate" buttons and offers for volunteer opportunities, but which don't always provide even basic information that a public which they ask for donations from is owed, such as the nonprofit's fund distribution (and how much actually goes for their stated missions), where donations are used, how they are used, the nonprofit's by-laws, and its screening policies for employees and volunteers. And yet we are so quck to offer both our time and our money to nonprofits based on their claims and their promises without "reading the fine print" of the nonprofit. Nonprofits reserve the right to run background checks on us when we want to be admitted to their teams as volunteers and to demand sensitive information, so we have the right to expect accountability and transparency from them.
To illustrate my point, let me share something of my own experiences with nonprofits. First, there are my positive experiences. Many years ago, I applied to a local agency and am still "volunteering" with a couple of its clients, though the original program has dissolved through lack of funds. The other nonprofit I deal with is a large, well-established one where I sponsor a child in the country of Mexico. These experiences have been challenging and rewarding.
Unfortunately, my experiences with nonprofits have often been negative and have been the sources of personal pain and depression. Years ago, I applied to volunteer my time with a local crisis pregnancy center that served those facing unplanned or unwanted pregnancies. My application process seemed to be satisfactory and so, to "keep it real," I disclosed my Marfan's Syndrome (which affects heart, eyes and joints) and at a separate time, my epilepsy. A month after I began my volunteer work there, I was terminated and my termination was witnessed by another volunteer who tape-recorded me without my permission. And I was told that I was not a "good fit" for the nonprofit.
More recently, over two years on social networks and two separate times, I applied to nonprofits, both not well-established, relatively new and both which I learned about online only and which seemed to have only an online presence. Both nonprofits have "courted" me, seeking to win my trust through their friendliness and expressed appreciation of my support and hard work on their behalf. I wanted to "step up" my involvement as "just a supporter," and wanted to be admitted to volunteer status. So two separate times, I applied and because there were disability-related questions both times, to "keep it real," I disclosed my self-diagnosed autism spectrum condition, Marfan's Syndrome and epilepsy. Both times, I was asked to surrender my Social Security Number (SS#); while the CEO's and staunch supporters of these nonprofits had initially been friendly to me, after I was refused as an applicant, each time, I was "dropped like a hot potato," just as a boy who wants intercourse with a girl treats her when he is through with her. Both of these experiences have caused me much personal grief, depression and which forced me to re-live my past, questioning whether ANYONE could be trusted.
Of course, I know that my bad experiences are largely because I applied to nonprofits that were not sympathetic to my life experiences and which were not well-established, well-funded or proved. I had believed their glowing claims about themselves and the claims of their supporters without seeing the results of their work. In the case of the two nonprofits I more recently applied to, there has been very little accountability or transparency on the part of either one. If anyone reading this wants to volunteer time with a nonprofit, know that in this era of background checks (thanks to the unethical, even criminal acts of volunteers or employees), you can expect to be required to surrender your SS# to "prove who you are" and you may be asked for other sensitive personal information; online searches may even be done to dig up "digital dirt" on you. And if, as I do, you have invisible disabilites that are widely misunderstood or stigmatized, you cannot count on the nonprofit to respond to your self-disclosure of your situation with empathy or support. This is not to discourage anyone from applying to volunteer your time, as long as you know that you "have the stuff" they are looking for and have done your homework about the nonprofit.
Yes, I know that every nonprofit has the right and the duty to carefully screen those who want to gain access to them through wanting to be received as official volunteers. This holds especially true in these days of our culture of lies and deception and high-profile exposure of too many unethical, even criminal acts of volunteers. In these days of increasing lack of trust and background checks, it is easy to be soured out on the very idea of volunteering and giving to nonprofits. Though nonprofits promise us a sense of belonging and community through volunteering or giving, we need to remember that nonprofits are NOT our friends and that we are only a means to the end of their protecting and serving their clients and furthering their interests as nonprofits and that they will value us only if they see that we can benefit them. And I have found this out the hard, painful way!
I realize that some organizations, like those that serve families with missing loved ones or which seek to identify deceased people, have to "keep close to the vest" and be close-mouthed about many matters to protect investigations. But ANY nonprofit that asks for donations from the public or that asks applicants sensitive personal information like SS#'s and the like, owe the public transparency and accountability! Based on my own, painful personal experience with certain nonprofits and based on others' experiences that I have read about, I discourage anyone from applying to ANY nonprofit that require you to sign vaguely-worded, sweeping waivers and confidentiality agreements that are set up solely to protect nonprofits and reduce THEIR liability while increasing YOURS. Such agreements are meant to "gag" you from exposing any unethical or unlawful practices or which "cover their rear-ends" if your experience with them should turn out to be a bad one. And I encourage anyone to be leery of ANY nonprofit that insists on your SS# and other personal information without providing transparency or accountability concerning themselves. After all, the Bible tells us to be "harmless as "doves" but also to be as "wise as serpents."
Yes, we are to give of our time, our talents, our skills and our resources. But there are many options to give and to share and many opportunities. Kindness, giving and sharing do not have to equal stupidity or being taken advantage of. Volunteering and giving can be wonderful, rewarding experiences for us as well as blessings to those we serve when we are discerning as well as generous. Below are links to sites that empower us to be discerning as we seek to give and to share. Please take the time to check them out.
http://www.charitynavigator.org/
This website provides comprehensive information about nonprofits in general and databases about many specific nonprofits. Not every nonprofit is evaluated there and we are not to read anything into that except that we are better-off to try to stick to nonprofits that are easy to evaluate and that are listed. My opinion.
http://www.bbb.org/Find-Business-Reviews
This is the Better Business Bureau website where we can find information about nonprofits that are listed with it and where we can file complaints about nonprofits (and for-profits) that we see engaging in unethical practices.
http://www.irs.gov/
This is the website for the Internal Revenue Service (IRS). There is a "Charities and Nonprofits" tab there with much information about nonprofits and tax-exempt status in general. There is also a search tool, "Exempt Organizations Select Check" where you enter the basic data for a nonprofit and you can see if it is officially registered with the IRS.
http://privacyrights.org/
This website has much information about issues of privacy and as these pertain to other related issues.
On social networks, people who run nonprofits as CEO's are who have official volunteer status, now fill the networks, including my own. It seems that the majority of people in my network have ties to nonprofits in some form or other; those who don't seem to be in the minority. I have mixed feeling about having so many people in my network. I appreciate and admire their advocacy and devotion on behalf of their singular passions, causes and missions. But the trade-off for that is the knowledge that while I do well with such folks IF they see that I'm supporting them and their agendas, that this is as far as it goes as far as online friendship goes. I know that any friendship I enjoy with such people is solely based on their causes and agendas and is not about friendship in the strict, social sense. These are people who use social networks for reasons other than social networking which to them is only a means to an end. To me, it is sad that we live in a world that we have to spend so much time and energy meeting needs that we feel that we lack time for friendhip for its own sake.
Whether CEO's of nonprofits or official volunteers (especially if called "senior" volunteers), I have noticed the love, admiration, cameraderie, trust and caring that such people enjoy, especially if their ties are with nonprofits that are highly regarded. And so much of that high regard of some nonprofits, even ones that are not well-established or proved, is based mainly on what these nonprofits promise or claim they do or will do. I have visited many sites and have seen "Donate" buttons and offers for volunteer opportunities, but which don't always provide even basic information that a public which they ask for donations from is owed, such as the nonprofit's fund distribution (and how much actually goes for their stated missions), where donations are used, how they are used, the nonprofit's by-laws, and its screening policies for employees and volunteers. And yet we are so quck to offer both our time and our money to nonprofits based on their claims and their promises without "reading the fine print" of the nonprofit. Nonprofits reserve the right to run background checks on us when we want to be admitted to their teams as volunteers and to demand sensitive information, so we have the right to expect accountability and transparency from them.
To illustrate my point, let me share something of my own experiences with nonprofits. First, there are my positive experiences. Many years ago, I applied to a local agency and am still "volunteering" with a couple of its clients, though the original program has dissolved through lack of funds. The other nonprofit I deal with is a large, well-established one where I sponsor a child in the country of Mexico. These experiences have been challenging and rewarding.
Unfortunately, my experiences with nonprofits have often been negative and have been the sources of personal pain and depression. Years ago, I applied to volunteer my time with a local crisis pregnancy center that served those facing unplanned or unwanted pregnancies. My application process seemed to be satisfactory and so, to "keep it real," I disclosed my Marfan's Syndrome (which affects heart, eyes and joints) and at a separate time, my epilepsy. A month after I began my volunteer work there, I was terminated and my termination was witnessed by another volunteer who tape-recorded me without my permission. And I was told that I was not a "good fit" for the nonprofit.
More recently, over two years on social networks and two separate times, I applied to nonprofits, both not well-established, relatively new and both which I learned about online only and which seemed to have only an online presence. Both nonprofits have "courted" me, seeking to win my trust through their friendliness and expressed appreciation of my support and hard work on their behalf. I wanted to "step up" my involvement as "just a supporter," and wanted to be admitted to volunteer status. So two separate times, I applied and because there were disability-related questions both times, to "keep it real," I disclosed my self-diagnosed autism spectrum condition, Marfan's Syndrome and epilepsy. Both times, I was asked to surrender my Social Security Number (SS#); while the CEO's and staunch supporters of these nonprofits had initially been friendly to me, after I was refused as an applicant, each time, I was "dropped like a hot potato," just as a boy who wants intercourse with a girl treats her when he is through with her. Both of these experiences have caused me much personal grief, depression and which forced me to re-live my past, questioning whether ANYONE could be trusted.
Of course, I know that my bad experiences are largely because I applied to nonprofits that were not sympathetic to my life experiences and which were not well-established, well-funded or proved. I had believed their glowing claims about themselves and the claims of their supporters without seeing the results of their work. In the case of the two nonprofits I more recently applied to, there has been very little accountability or transparency on the part of either one. If anyone reading this wants to volunteer time with a nonprofit, know that in this era of background checks (thanks to the unethical, even criminal acts of volunteers or employees), you can expect to be required to surrender your SS# to "prove who you are" and you may be asked for other sensitive personal information; online searches may even be done to dig up "digital dirt" on you. And if, as I do, you have invisible disabilites that are widely misunderstood or stigmatized, you cannot count on the nonprofit to respond to your self-disclosure of your situation with empathy or support. This is not to discourage anyone from applying to volunteer your time, as long as you know that you "have the stuff" they are looking for and have done your homework about the nonprofit.
Yes, I know that every nonprofit has the right and the duty to carefully screen those who want to gain access to them through wanting to be received as official volunteers. This holds especially true in these days of our culture of lies and deception and high-profile exposure of too many unethical, even criminal acts of volunteers. In these days of increasing lack of trust and background checks, it is easy to be soured out on the very idea of volunteering and giving to nonprofits. Though nonprofits promise us a sense of belonging and community through volunteering or giving, we need to remember that nonprofits are NOT our friends and that we are only a means to the end of their protecting and serving their clients and furthering their interests as nonprofits and that they will value us only if they see that we can benefit them. And I have found this out the hard, painful way!
I realize that some organizations, like those that serve families with missing loved ones or which seek to identify deceased people, have to "keep close to the vest" and be close-mouthed about many matters to protect investigations. But ANY nonprofit that asks for donations from the public or that asks applicants sensitive personal information like SS#'s and the like, owe the public transparency and accountability! Based on my own, painful personal experience with certain nonprofits and based on others' experiences that I have read about, I discourage anyone from applying to ANY nonprofit that require you to sign vaguely-worded, sweeping waivers and confidentiality agreements that are set up solely to protect nonprofits and reduce THEIR liability while increasing YOURS. Such agreements are meant to "gag" you from exposing any unethical or unlawful practices or which "cover their rear-ends" if your experience with them should turn out to be a bad one. And I encourage anyone to be leery of ANY nonprofit that insists on your SS# and other personal information without providing transparency or accountability concerning themselves. After all, the Bible tells us to be "harmless as "doves" but also to be as "wise as serpents."
Yes, we are to give of our time, our talents, our skills and our resources. But there are many options to give and to share and many opportunities. Kindness, giving and sharing do not have to equal stupidity or being taken advantage of. Volunteering and giving can be wonderful, rewarding experiences for us as well as blessings to those we serve when we are discerning as well as generous. Below are links to sites that empower us to be discerning as we seek to give and to share. Please take the time to check them out.
http://www.charitynavigator.org/
This website provides comprehensive information about nonprofits in general and databases about many specific nonprofits. Not every nonprofit is evaluated there and we are not to read anything into that except that we are better-off to try to stick to nonprofits that are easy to evaluate and that are listed. My opinion.
http://www.bbb.org/Find-Business-Reviews
This is the Better Business Bureau website where we can find information about nonprofits that are listed with it and where we can file complaints about nonprofits (and for-profits) that we see engaging in unethical practices.
http://www.irs.gov/
This is the website for the Internal Revenue Service (IRS). There is a "Charities and Nonprofits" tab there with much information about nonprofits and tax-exempt status in general. There is also a search tool, "Exempt Organizations Select Check" where you enter the basic data for a nonprofit and you can see if it is officially registered with the IRS.
http://privacyrights.org/
This website has much information about issues of privacy and as these pertain to other related issues.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)