Scams. I'm sure almost all of us have been victims of them. Individuals, groups or organizations take an interest in you, win your trust and when they are satsified that your trust has been won, they move in with their dirty work. Your trust in them won, they take from you what they want (whether your sensitive information or your money, and so forth) and vanish without a trace, not delivering on their promises and leaving you adrift, disillusioned and wondering who to trust.
Online, one of my first such experiences with this was with a nonprofit organization. Before I had started using Facebook, I had never known that this organization existed. Then how did I find out about it? I learned about it through posts from those in my networks, especially those who had close ties to the nonprofit in question. I observed that many people in my network showed support for this nonprofit. I had done community volunteer work offline but never anything online, but over time, I toyed with the idea of joining this nonprofit's "family" of volunteers.
Why had I wanted to get involved with this particular organization in the first place? Aside from the stated mission of this particular nonprofit and my desire to enter a supposedly controlled and supportive situation, to make a difference in the lives of those served by this nonprofit, I craved a sense of belonging and community that were missing from my life. This nonprofit promised to provide that for their volunteers. "Become part of our team and you will find a family!" this nonprofit promised. And I did not feel that I fit in with the kind of people who attended the mainstream suburban congregations that my family and I have visited or placed our memberships in. These kind of people who comprised most of our local, suburban parishes, have been, for the most part, nice, decent, and seemingly upstanding citizens and often devout in their faith. Yet I have seen too little diversity in race, disabilities or walks of life. Most seemed to be more or less affluent and many were in the professional class. From my observations and research, this seems to be the case in so many denominational, local congregations in our suburbs. In such settings, it is hard for so many people among the poor, those with disabilities (visible or invisible), members of racial or ethnic minority groups and others, to feel part of their local faith communities.
Therefore, when several online people with close ties to the nonprofit in question, took an interest in me and showed affection and support, I was thrilled and I felt hopeful that things were coming together. Therefore, I wanted to become one of them and become part of their mission and activities. I liked what they said about their nonprofit and I believed in their cause. Unsure of whether I really could volunteer and whether I would even be accepted as such, I nevertheless decided to take the chance. And so, in the Fall, a year-and-a-half ago, I contacted this nonprofit and I expressed my interest in volunteering for them.
The volunteer co-ordinator, who had been in my social networks almost from the beginning, contacted me through email and sent me the volunteer application to fill out online and send back electronically. On this form, I was asked for my Social Security Number ("very important for a criminal background check") and there also was a question asking about disabilities. I wondered why some of these questions were needed for online work. And was the Social Security Number really needed for a criminal background check? Within hours after I filled out this application and returned it through email, the volunteer co-ordinator called me on the phone for an "intake interview." A day later, I was thrilled when this person called me and, in the course of the conversation, assured me that I had been accepted!
That very night, I set about creating a second, official page for this nonprofit. One by one, each of those who had ties to this nonprofit, added me as a friend to this profile as well as to my original profile. And I busied myself with adding more and more people from my first profile, to this second profile. Soon I was dismayed to discover that that racy, spammy material in the form of a video, was being sent in message form or posted on the pages of those in this new network and in my name! I could see that the people with this nonprofit were, judging from their posted comments, were defending me and doing "damage control" for me. They were insisting that these racy, spammy links and material were the work of hackers and that I was not sending these to anyone. I felt comforted and convinced myself that we could work this out.
However, these spammy links and racy material continued to be sent to my friends on this profile. As the days wore on, it seemed all I was doing was trying to repair the damage coming from my hackers and trying to convince my friends on Facebook that I was NOT sending them ANY of this trash that they were getting in my name. I became more upset and frustrated by this turn of events. What had I ever gotten myself into, signing up for this nonprofit? My family did not support my volunteer efforts for this nonprofit and let me know it. They guessed that I had a computer virus infection and that when another family member had gotten on my computer and clicked suspicious links there, that this may have been paved the way for my hackers to do their dirty work. Maybe. But my phone chats with the volunteer co-ordinator began to break down and I could see that the nonprofit was losing interest in me. One night, I was aghast when this person told me something like, "We have concluded that you are not a fit person for our nonprofit, that you will not help us in our work and that we do not want to deal with someone who is as high-maintenance as you have shown yourself to have been." From this point, the person's phone manner became distant and even cold, and this conversation became a disaster.
The following day, this nonprofit sent me an email, telling me that I was dismissed as a volunteer. I was devastated! When the CEO of this nonprofit contacted me by phone to, in essence, defending this person's nonprofit and convince me of why I was not a fit volunteer, my family got involved, with results that did me no good. When the conversation ended, I sent this CEO an email, making the mistake of attempting to make the case as to why I was a good person for this nonprofit, I got a quick response, accusing me of harassment and ending with a cold, angry, "Don't ever contact us again." One by one, most of those with close ties to this nonprofit removed me from their friends lists and this happened on my original profile as well as my new one. And the one persson, with close ties to this nonprofit and who I believed was becoming a real friend, told me that the entire team had been told to remove me from their official profiles. "But you're on my personal page and I am keeping you there," this person assured me.
However, I was utterly dismayed when I discovered that this very person as well as another who I was feeling bonded with, later the following day, had blocked me completely AND from their personal pages! I knew I was blocked when when I visited my messages inbox on Facebook and both person's names were in black and their profiles were no longer hyperlinked so I could access them. Also, I could no longer reply to their messages. And as for my second, hacked page, Facebook had removed it as it had been reported as a hacked page.
This all happened during December and at the holiday season, which made all of this even more depressing. I entered a depression, feeling helpless, hopeless and adrift, betrayed, disillusioned and wondering who I could trust. Why in the world would everyone with a nonprofit be told to sever all ties with me as though I were a criminal? I had spent hours trying to support this nonprofit and their cause. I would wistfully check my email inbox for messages from this nonprofit, against better knowledge. I sent emails to some of the people who had "unfriended" me, making the case as to why they were being told things about me that were not true, if this was happening. Needless to say, I never received any replies to these emails. One evening, I called the volunteer co-ordinator to appeal to this person. When this person heard my voice, I heard the abrupt click of the phone.
Seeing that my relationships with those with this nonprofit had deteriorated into nothingness, I would pour my heart out to God in my prayer journal, venting to Him all my angry, sad, fearful and betrayed feelings. This experience with this nonprofit brought back all so many of my memories of being misunderstood and bullied by both adults and peers thoughout my youth. My family could take only so much of my venting; I didn't blame them. How did I let myself get talked into a situation like this? Could I ever trust anyone again?
We know that online scams are harder to detect than offline scams. This is because users can hide behind their computer screens do what they want to do. They can escape detection through setting up fake profiles, making claims about themselves not are untrue or grandiose or can hide their identities.
And we are vulnerable to scams when we crave a sense of belonging and community, we are lonely or want an easy, cheap or free way to obtain goods or services. We are vulnerable when we are in need and are looking for someone to "rescue" us or give us answers. And we are vulnerable when the scammers win our trust and make promises to us that they can give us what we want.
I have experienced other scams since my experience with this nonprofit in question. The users who had blocked me, had "refriended" me but things have not ever been the same. These experiences have made me more wary but still, I know that it is easy to fall prey to scammers because there are are always people who will take advantage of the trusting. Currently, in my petition dive on behalf of the autism community and in my quest for support and resources to "beef up" my campaign, I know that I will have to guard against scammers who would make false promises that they would make my petition "go viral" without the needed work to increase the odds that this could happen. And in my offlne life, I have to guard against people who would make promises to grant me answers to my lifetime of my unexplained differences when they are in no way qualified to give me any quality evaluation for my situation.
As it has so often been said, if something sounds too good to be true, it probably is!
Showing posts with label Volunteers. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Volunteers. Show all posts
Saturday, June 9, 2012
Wednesday, March 14, 2012
Advocates and Causes and Social Networking
What is an advocate? Growing up, I got the idea that an advocate was a person who spoke before legislators and lobbied them to get laws passed on behalf of those whom they were speaking for. When that word came to mind I would think of lawyers or other trained professionals with official ties to nonprofit or for-profit organizations. But in these days of the "information age" mass media and social networking, it has become clear that making a difference in this world has become much more accessible to us and that advocacy is not just for professionals or for those with the money and time to influence the powerful.
Yes, in my younger days, years before social networking existed and before I discovered this social networking, I would write letters to legislators on behalf of those vulnerable groups of people for whom I felt laws need to be changed for. I would occasionally circulate offline, paper petitions and participate in sporadic fundraising projects. But two years ago, I discovered social networking and especially, Facebook. And I saw something of what advocacy is. At that time, I was trying to bury my past and to "put it behind me" by trying to forget, since I could make no sense of it, there was no word for many of my experiences and no community that I could identify with concerning my experiences. In other words, no sense of belonging. So, as a way of what psychologists would call "sublimation" or using one's inner conflicts by channeling them into positive action, I got interested in following true crime cases and missing person cases as I viewed a few on television. This was a way of getting my mind off my apparently unsolvable, unexplainable problems. Plus, I knew that serious crime could very well happen to my family and me and that I wanted to be part of the solution instead of part of the problem by inactivity. Plus, I knew the Scriptural principle that "If a man does not hear the cries of others in need, he cannot expect others to hear his cries in his own time of need." At the time, I was disgusted with the media for devoting hours to celebrities while they gave only minutes to missing people. I was frustrated with them for their tendency to sensationalize the few cases they did cover. So, because of these reasons, I set up a Facebook account and began "friending" those whose profiles indicated that they were advocates for the missing, exploited and the abused, or whose profiles indicates that they had missing loved ones.
All I can say is that entering the world of advocates through social networking has proved to be a lively education in itself. First, I learned, by trial and error, the right and wrong things to say that convey sensitivity and support for the families of missing loved ones or who had other needs, and what offended them or drove them away, making them see one as one of "the bad guys" even if I was just trying to help. I rarely had trouble with family members of the missing or murdered. The exception was a person who had a missing young person who was found deceased in a matter of months. Initially, I was on great terms with this person but this person became greatly angered with me one day with I posted on this person's page about a missing child who was also in this person's state. We exchanged messages that amounted to an online shouting match and the person's threat to have me reported and "stopped" because I was one of the "bad guys" and an "abuser" of families of the missing.
Advocates have shown themselves to be quite a mixture in their ability to tolerate differences. Early on, I learned, the painfully hard way, that there are quite a few advocates who have chips on their shoulders and little tolerance for differences and were quick to "give you the boot" and remove me from their networks, if they disliked my beliefs, my posts or my posts on their pages about my causes. When I was still new to Facebook, I posted on the page of a person who was a respected missing person advocate, sharing the posters of two "cold case" missing children whom I hoped that this person would circulate among those in this person's own social networks. I checked this person's page a while later, hoping that I had an effect. I did, but not the effect I wanted! The posts were removed. Upset, I sent a messagge to the person, attaching the links to my message and appealing to the person to share them. The person responded but not in a friendly way, chewing me out for imposing my cases and my agenda on this person, and so forth. Again, our messages back and forth became an online shouting match that resulted in this person blocking me, apparently for good. Lesson learned? Do not engage those who disagree with you online, as people's monds are made up and online arguments are a waste of time and almost always backfire.
I have found, in relating to advocates in my networks, that there are a number whom I count as warmly supportive and tolerant of differences and a number, like those, like the person above, who show little tolerance for differences or other beliefs or agendas. But the majority rarely, if ever, correspond with me, whether because they are "single cause" people, use social networks sporadically or for other reasons. I have found that my most awful experiences with advocates have happened when I applied for official volunteer positions with nonprofits that I learned about only online because of their online presence.
Well over a year ago, I applied to a nonprofit that was hugely praised by many in my social networks. Craving a community to belong to and wanting to make a difference on a different level, I applied to the nonprofit, where I was asked, among other things, a disability-related question. I disclosed my epilepsy (noting that it was under control) and my Marfan's Syndrome and, in the phone interview, my undiagnosed autism spectrum condition. I was very elated and thrilled when I was told that I was accepted. I set up a new, official page for the nonprofit and its staff and volunteers "friended" me there. Almost right away, the account was hacked and those in my network received links to suspicious, "cheesy" material in my name. Soon, I grew crushed and depressed when I was abruptly told that I was "not the right fit" for the nonprofit and that I was dismissed as a volunteer. I was told that the nonprofit had issues with the dynamics of my family situation as they believed it would affect my ability to "be an asset to our organization." To make matters worse, I was told that everyone linked to this nonprofit was ordered to "unfriend" me on both my accounts. I was heartbroken to see that I was also blocked by a number of them. As this had happened during the Christmas eason, I entered into a depression that saddened my holiday. To me, this was a case of cyberbullying that was made worse by the fact that I could not prove a thing!
A number of months ago, I applied to a second nonprofit, also one that I knew about solely from is online presence. I had corresponded with a few people who had official ties with this nonprofit and I admired their work on behalf of their chosen cause. So when they placed an online appeal for volunteers, I applied, striving for honesty and transparency in my application, though I saw the screening process as intrusive and excessive for someone who, in my case, was asking for the opportuntity to do online activites for the nonprofit. I also included a heartfelt piece that I hoped would explain my answers to the disability-related question on the application and any "red flags" that the nonprofit may find in my background. I hoped that I could receive empathy and understanding and a volunteer opportunity. After weeks of waiting, I got a curt phone call where I was told, unequivocally, that the nonprofit had no interest in my volunteer services. As this experience also happened around the holidays, I was left deeply distressed, disillusioned and turned off to the very idea of ever offering my volunteer services to another nonprofit. To this day, those in my network who have official ties to this nonprofit or who are its staunchest supporters, have stopped any form of communication with me. To this day, I remain leery of nonprofits that I learn about only online.
It's because of my experiences with these two nonprofits that I remain a "self-directed" volunteer or advocate who works on my own, with no official ties to any nonprofit. I'm often mage aware that those who have official ties to nonprofits (and my network is full of them!) enjoy friendships, social connections, a sense of belonging and appreciation and recognition for their efforts, that you have a harder time finding without official ties to any nonprofit. But I'm not about to risk the prospect of identity theft to find these things.
Why do advocates do what they do? From my observation, there are those advocates who get into their work because of their educational backgrounds, training and skills, who do their work professionally. Many in my social network present themselves as CEO's of nonprofits. While I admire these folks to their single-minded dedication to their chosen professions, I usually don't identify with them. Then there are the many, many advocates in my network who present themselves as "survivors" whose past traumatic experiences have compelled them into advocacy. This makes sense, as a big way of finding healing and redemption from one's past lies in using it to strive to make a difference in the lives of others. This illustrates the Scriptural principle that God allows suffering in our lives so we can comfort others who suffer. And finally, there are those in my networks who are "everyday people" who share little about themselves except that they simply want to help. They are often the best advocates who are agenda-free and are often the most likely to support me back.
As I continued social networking and got in touch with my past, I began taking on multiple causes that I identified with, such as poverty, disabilities and injustice. I still supported the cause of missing people and crime victims but it no longer is it my exclusive focus. Many in my social network are "single cause" people who focus mainly on their own passion and whom I know I can't expect to show support for my multiple causes, unless any of these "meet with" their single passion. "One cause" advocacy is understandable in many cases, even though these are not people that I consider to be friends, as any positive experience with them is based on my support of their singular causes.
Social networking with many "locals" in my area, including family and friends, has had a way of revealing the "true colors" of so many of them. For in the course of posting about my causes, from early on, I have seen that many of them would quietly and without dislosure, remove me from their social networks. Incredibly, these online deletions came from "church members," including a pastor's wife, youth workers and several family members and others whom I believed were my "friends"! This has taught me that Facebook and other social networks do not of themselves ruin relationships. Social networking only unmasks people who already know each other personally, or think they do.
I have found out that there are many people who want no part of social involvement or causes, whether because they don't think they have the time, don't identify with any cause, don't think they can make a difference, or just don't care. And many "church members" tend to focus exclusively on their own relationships with god, family and their congregational life, forbgetting that Jesus tells us that we will be judged by our willingness to help the less fortunate and who combined His ministry with social involvement with all kinds of needy people.
This has been a most interesting two years.
Yes, in my younger days, years before social networking existed and before I discovered this social networking, I would write letters to legislators on behalf of those vulnerable groups of people for whom I felt laws need to be changed for. I would occasionally circulate offline, paper petitions and participate in sporadic fundraising projects. But two years ago, I discovered social networking and especially, Facebook. And I saw something of what advocacy is. At that time, I was trying to bury my past and to "put it behind me" by trying to forget, since I could make no sense of it, there was no word for many of my experiences and no community that I could identify with concerning my experiences. In other words, no sense of belonging. So, as a way of what psychologists would call "sublimation" or using one's inner conflicts by channeling them into positive action, I got interested in following true crime cases and missing person cases as I viewed a few on television. This was a way of getting my mind off my apparently unsolvable, unexplainable problems. Plus, I knew that serious crime could very well happen to my family and me and that I wanted to be part of the solution instead of part of the problem by inactivity. Plus, I knew the Scriptural principle that "If a man does not hear the cries of others in need, he cannot expect others to hear his cries in his own time of need." At the time, I was disgusted with the media for devoting hours to celebrities while they gave only minutes to missing people. I was frustrated with them for their tendency to sensationalize the few cases they did cover. So, because of these reasons, I set up a Facebook account and began "friending" those whose profiles indicated that they were advocates for the missing, exploited and the abused, or whose profiles indicates that they had missing loved ones.
All I can say is that entering the world of advocates through social networking has proved to be a lively education in itself. First, I learned, by trial and error, the right and wrong things to say that convey sensitivity and support for the families of missing loved ones or who had other needs, and what offended them or drove them away, making them see one as one of "the bad guys" even if I was just trying to help. I rarely had trouble with family members of the missing or murdered. The exception was a person who had a missing young person who was found deceased in a matter of months. Initially, I was on great terms with this person but this person became greatly angered with me one day with I posted on this person's page about a missing child who was also in this person's state. We exchanged messages that amounted to an online shouting match and the person's threat to have me reported and "stopped" because I was one of the "bad guys" and an "abuser" of families of the missing.
Advocates have shown themselves to be quite a mixture in their ability to tolerate differences. Early on, I learned, the painfully hard way, that there are quite a few advocates who have chips on their shoulders and little tolerance for differences and were quick to "give you the boot" and remove me from their networks, if they disliked my beliefs, my posts or my posts on their pages about my causes. When I was still new to Facebook, I posted on the page of a person who was a respected missing person advocate, sharing the posters of two "cold case" missing children whom I hoped that this person would circulate among those in this person's own social networks. I checked this person's page a while later, hoping that I had an effect. I did, but not the effect I wanted! The posts were removed. Upset, I sent a messagge to the person, attaching the links to my message and appealing to the person to share them. The person responded but not in a friendly way, chewing me out for imposing my cases and my agenda on this person, and so forth. Again, our messages back and forth became an online shouting match that resulted in this person blocking me, apparently for good. Lesson learned? Do not engage those who disagree with you online, as people's monds are made up and online arguments are a waste of time and almost always backfire.
I have found, in relating to advocates in my networks, that there are a number whom I count as warmly supportive and tolerant of differences and a number, like those, like the person above, who show little tolerance for differences or other beliefs or agendas. But the majority rarely, if ever, correspond with me, whether because they are "single cause" people, use social networks sporadically or for other reasons. I have found that my most awful experiences with advocates have happened when I applied for official volunteer positions with nonprofits that I learned about only online because of their online presence.
Well over a year ago, I applied to a nonprofit that was hugely praised by many in my social networks. Craving a community to belong to and wanting to make a difference on a different level, I applied to the nonprofit, where I was asked, among other things, a disability-related question. I disclosed my epilepsy (noting that it was under control) and my Marfan's Syndrome and, in the phone interview, my undiagnosed autism spectrum condition. I was very elated and thrilled when I was told that I was accepted. I set up a new, official page for the nonprofit and its staff and volunteers "friended" me there. Almost right away, the account was hacked and those in my network received links to suspicious, "cheesy" material in my name. Soon, I grew crushed and depressed when I was abruptly told that I was "not the right fit" for the nonprofit and that I was dismissed as a volunteer. I was told that the nonprofit had issues with the dynamics of my family situation as they believed it would affect my ability to "be an asset to our organization." To make matters worse, I was told that everyone linked to this nonprofit was ordered to "unfriend" me on both my accounts. I was heartbroken to see that I was also blocked by a number of them. As this had happened during the Christmas eason, I entered into a depression that saddened my holiday. To me, this was a case of cyberbullying that was made worse by the fact that I could not prove a thing!
A number of months ago, I applied to a second nonprofit, also one that I knew about solely from is online presence. I had corresponded with a few people who had official ties with this nonprofit and I admired their work on behalf of their chosen cause. So when they placed an online appeal for volunteers, I applied, striving for honesty and transparency in my application, though I saw the screening process as intrusive and excessive for someone who, in my case, was asking for the opportuntity to do online activites for the nonprofit. I also included a heartfelt piece that I hoped would explain my answers to the disability-related question on the application and any "red flags" that the nonprofit may find in my background. I hoped that I could receive empathy and understanding and a volunteer opportunity. After weeks of waiting, I got a curt phone call where I was told, unequivocally, that the nonprofit had no interest in my volunteer services. As this experience also happened around the holidays, I was left deeply distressed, disillusioned and turned off to the very idea of ever offering my volunteer services to another nonprofit. To this day, those in my network who have official ties to this nonprofit or who are its staunchest supporters, have stopped any form of communication with me. To this day, I remain leery of nonprofits that I learn about only online.
It's because of my experiences with these two nonprofits that I remain a "self-directed" volunteer or advocate who works on my own, with no official ties to any nonprofit. I'm often mage aware that those who have official ties to nonprofits (and my network is full of them!) enjoy friendships, social connections, a sense of belonging and appreciation and recognition for their efforts, that you have a harder time finding without official ties to any nonprofit. But I'm not about to risk the prospect of identity theft to find these things.
Why do advocates do what they do? From my observation, there are those advocates who get into their work because of their educational backgrounds, training and skills, who do their work professionally. Many in my social network present themselves as CEO's of nonprofits. While I admire these folks to their single-minded dedication to their chosen professions, I usually don't identify with them. Then there are the many, many advocates in my network who present themselves as "survivors" whose past traumatic experiences have compelled them into advocacy. This makes sense, as a big way of finding healing and redemption from one's past lies in using it to strive to make a difference in the lives of others. This illustrates the Scriptural principle that God allows suffering in our lives so we can comfort others who suffer. And finally, there are those in my networks who are "everyday people" who share little about themselves except that they simply want to help. They are often the best advocates who are agenda-free and are often the most likely to support me back.
As I continued social networking and got in touch with my past, I began taking on multiple causes that I identified with, such as poverty, disabilities and injustice. I still supported the cause of missing people and crime victims but it no longer is it my exclusive focus. Many in my social network are "single cause" people who focus mainly on their own passion and whom I know I can't expect to show support for my multiple causes, unless any of these "meet with" their single passion. "One cause" advocacy is understandable in many cases, even though these are not people that I consider to be friends, as any positive experience with them is based on my support of their singular causes.
Social networking with many "locals" in my area, including family and friends, has had a way of revealing the "true colors" of so many of them. For in the course of posting about my causes, from early on, I have seen that many of them would quietly and without dislosure, remove me from their social networks. Incredibly, these online deletions came from "church members," including a pastor's wife, youth workers and several family members and others whom I believed were my "friends"! This has taught me that Facebook and other social networks do not of themselves ruin relationships. Social networking only unmasks people who already know each other personally, or think they do.
I have found out that there are many people who want no part of social involvement or causes, whether because they don't think they have the time, don't identify with any cause, don't think they can make a difference, or just don't care. And many "church members" tend to focus exclusively on their own relationships with god, family and their congregational life, forbgetting that Jesus tells us that we will be judged by our willingness to help the less fortunate and who combined His ministry with social involvement with all kinds of needy people.
This has been a most interesting two years.
Saturday, March 3, 2012
About Nonprofits, Volunteering, Giving and Being Smart
I'm sure that we all have noticed the sheer number of nonprofit organizations or those who claim nonprofit status. We can see how nonprofits are being set up for every cause imaginable and it does not look like this trend is going to stop. We are asked for donations and are promised that if we give our financial contributions will do great things. We are offered volunteer opportunities and are told that our volunteering will make a tremendous difference for a cause and will change our lives through our becoming part of a dedicated, hard-working, valued team of people. Nonprofits "court" us through seeking to win our trust so that we will support them with our awareness efforts, our donations and our volunteer time, promising us that we will "belong" to their "community."
On social networks, people who run nonprofits as CEO's are who have official volunteer status, now fill the networks, including my own. It seems that the majority of people in my network have ties to nonprofits in some form or other; those who don't seem to be in the minority. I have mixed feeling about having so many people in my network. I appreciate and admire their advocacy and devotion on behalf of their singular passions, causes and missions. But the trade-off for that is the knowledge that while I do well with such folks IF they see that I'm supporting them and their agendas, that this is as far as it goes as far as online friendship goes. I know that any friendship I enjoy with such people is solely based on their causes and agendas and is not about friendship in the strict, social sense. These are people who use social networks for reasons other than social networking which to them is only a means to an end. To me, it is sad that we live in a world that we have to spend so much time and energy meeting needs that we feel that we lack time for friendhip for its own sake.
Whether CEO's of nonprofits or official volunteers (especially if called "senior" volunteers), I have noticed the love, admiration, cameraderie, trust and caring that such people enjoy, especially if their ties are with nonprofits that are highly regarded. And so much of that high regard of some nonprofits, even ones that are not well-established or proved, is based mainly on what these nonprofits promise or claim they do or will do. I have visited many sites and have seen "Donate" buttons and offers for volunteer opportunities, but which don't always provide even basic information that a public which they ask for donations from is owed, such as the nonprofit's fund distribution (and how much actually goes for their stated missions), where donations are used, how they are used, the nonprofit's by-laws, and its screening policies for employees and volunteers. And yet we are so quck to offer both our time and our money to nonprofits based on their claims and their promises without "reading the fine print" of the nonprofit. Nonprofits reserve the right to run background checks on us when we want to be admitted to their teams as volunteers and to demand sensitive information, so we have the right to expect accountability and transparency from them.
To illustrate my point, let me share something of my own experiences with nonprofits. First, there are my positive experiences. Many years ago, I applied to a local agency and am still "volunteering" with a couple of its clients, though the original program has dissolved through lack of funds. The other nonprofit I deal with is a large, well-established one where I sponsor a child in the country of Mexico. These experiences have been challenging and rewarding.
Unfortunately, my experiences with nonprofits have often been negative and have been the sources of personal pain and depression. Years ago, I applied to volunteer my time with a local crisis pregnancy center that served those facing unplanned or unwanted pregnancies. My application process seemed to be satisfactory and so, to "keep it real," I disclosed my Marfan's Syndrome (which affects heart, eyes and joints) and at a separate time, my epilepsy. A month after I began my volunteer work there, I was terminated and my termination was witnessed by another volunteer who tape-recorded me without my permission. And I was told that I was not a "good fit" for the nonprofit.
More recently, over two years on social networks and two separate times, I applied to nonprofits, both not well-established, relatively new and both which I learned about online only and which seemed to have only an online presence. Both nonprofits have "courted" me, seeking to win my trust through their friendliness and expressed appreciation of my support and hard work on their behalf. I wanted to "step up" my involvement as "just a supporter," and wanted to be admitted to volunteer status. So two separate times, I applied and because there were disability-related questions both times, to "keep it real," I disclosed my self-diagnosed autism spectrum condition, Marfan's Syndrome and epilepsy. Both times, I was asked to surrender my Social Security Number (SS#); while the CEO's and staunch supporters of these nonprofits had initially been friendly to me, after I was refused as an applicant, each time, I was "dropped like a hot potato," just as a boy who wants intercourse with a girl treats her when he is through with her. Both of these experiences have caused me much personal grief, depression and which forced me to re-live my past, questioning whether ANYONE could be trusted.
Of course, I know that my bad experiences are largely because I applied to nonprofits that were not sympathetic to my life experiences and which were not well-established, well-funded or proved. I had believed their glowing claims about themselves and the claims of their supporters without seeing the results of their work. In the case of the two nonprofits I more recently applied to, there has been very little accountability or transparency on the part of either one. If anyone reading this wants to volunteer time with a nonprofit, know that in this era of background checks (thanks to the unethical, even criminal acts of volunteers or employees), you can expect to be required to surrender your SS# to "prove who you are" and you may be asked for other sensitive personal information; online searches may even be done to dig up "digital dirt" on you. And if, as I do, you have invisible disabilites that are widely misunderstood or stigmatized, you cannot count on the nonprofit to respond to your self-disclosure of your situation with empathy or support. This is not to discourage anyone from applying to volunteer your time, as long as you know that you "have the stuff" they are looking for and have done your homework about the nonprofit.
Yes, I know that every nonprofit has the right and the duty to carefully screen those who want to gain access to them through wanting to be received as official volunteers. This holds especially true in these days of our culture of lies and deception and high-profile exposure of too many unethical, even criminal acts of volunteers. In these days of increasing lack of trust and background checks, it is easy to be soured out on the very idea of volunteering and giving to nonprofits. Though nonprofits promise us a sense of belonging and community through volunteering or giving, we need to remember that nonprofits are NOT our friends and that we are only a means to the end of their protecting and serving their clients and furthering their interests as nonprofits and that they will value us only if they see that we can benefit them. And I have found this out the hard, painful way!
I realize that some organizations, like those that serve families with missing loved ones or which seek to identify deceased people, have to "keep close to the vest" and be close-mouthed about many matters to protect investigations. But ANY nonprofit that asks for donations from the public or that asks applicants sensitive personal information like SS#'s and the like, owe the public transparency and accountability! Based on my own, painful personal experience with certain nonprofits and based on others' experiences that I have read about, I discourage anyone from applying to ANY nonprofit that require you to sign vaguely-worded, sweeping waivers and confidentiality agreements that are set up solely to protect nonprofits and reduce THEIR liability while increasing YOURS. Such agreements are meant to "gag" you from exposing any unethical or unlawful practices or which "cover their rear-ends" if your experience with them should turn out to be a bad one. And I encourage anyone to be leery of ANY nonprofit that insists on your SS# and other personal information without providing transparency or accountability concerning themselves. After all, the Bible tells us to be "harmless as "doves" but also to be as "wise as serpents."
Yes, we are to give of our time, our talents, our skills and our resources. But there are many options to give and to share and many opportunities. Kindness, giving and sharing do not have to equal stupidity or being taken advantage of. Volunteering and giving can be wonderful, rewarding experiences for us as well as blessings to those we serve when we are discerning as well as generous. Below are links to sites that empower us to be discerning as we seek to give and to share. Please take the time to check them out.
http://www.charitynavigator.org/
This website provides comprehensive information about nonprofits in general and databases about many specific nonprofits. Not every nonprofit is evaluated there and we are not to read anything into that except that we are better-off to try to stick to nonprofits that are easy to evaluate and that are listed. My opinion.
http://www.bbb.org/Find-Business-Reviews
This is the Better Business Bureau website where we can find information about nonprofits that are listed with it and where we can file complaints about nonprofits (and for-profits) that we see engaging in unethical practices.
http://www.irs.gov/
This is the website for the Internal Revenue Service (IRS). There is a "Charities and Nonprofits" tab there with much information about nonprofits and tax-exempt status in general. There is also a search tool, "Exempt Organizations Select Check" where you enter the basic data for a nonprofit and you can see if it is officially registered with the IRS.
http://privacyrights.org/
This website has much information about issues of privacy and as these pertain to other related issues.
On social networks, people who run nonprofits as CEO's are who have official volunteer status, now fill the networks, including my own. It seems that the majority of people in my network have ties to nonprofits in some form or other; those who don't seem to be in the minority. I have mixed feeling about having so many people in my network. I appreciate and admire their advocacy and devotion on behalf of their singular passions, causes and missions. But the trade-off for that is the knowledge that while I do well with such folks IF they see that I'm supporting them and their agendas, that this is as far as it goes as far as online friendship goes. I know that any friendship I enjoy with such people is solely based on their causes and agendas and is not about friendship in the strict, social sense. These are people who use social networks for reasons other than social networking which to them is only a means to an end. To me, it is sad that we live in a world that we have to spend so much time and energy meeting needs that we feel that we lack time for friendhip for its own sake.
Whether CEO's of nonprofits or official volunteers (especially if called "senior" volunteers), I have noticed the love, admiration, cameraderie, trust and caring that such people enjoy, especially if their ties are with nonprofits that are highly regarded. And so much of that high regard of some nonprofits, even ones that are not well-established or proved, is based mainly on what these nonprofits promise or claim they do or will do. I have visited many sites and have seen "Donate" buttons and offers for volunteer opportunities, but which don't always provide even basic information that a public which they ask for donations from is owed, such as the nonprofit's fund distribution (and how much actually goes for their stated missions), where donations are used, how they are used, the nonprofit's by-laws, and its screening policies for employees and volunteers. And yet we are so quck to offer both our time and our money to nonprofits based on their claims and their promises without "reading the fine print" of the nonprofit. Nonprofits reserve the right to run background checks on us when we want to be admitted to their teams as volunteers and to demand sensitive information, so we have the right to expect accountability and transparency from them.
To illustrate my point, let me share something of my own experiences with nonprofits. First, there are my positive experiences. Many years ago, I applied to a local agency and am still "volunteering" with a couple of its clients, though the original program has dissolved through lack of funds. The other nonprofit I deal with is a large, well-established one where I sponsor a child in the country of Mexico. These experiences have been challenging and rewarding.
Unfortunately, my experiences with nonprofits have often been negative and have been the sources of personal pain and depression. Years ago, I applied to volunteer my time with a local crisis pregnancy center that served those facing unplanned or unwanted pregnancies. My application process seemed to be satisfactory and so, to "keep it real," I disclosed my Marfan's Syndrome (which affects heart, eyes and joints) and at a separate time, my epilepsy. A month after I began my volunteer work there, I was terminated and my termination was witnessed by another volunteer who tape-recorded me without my permission. And I was told that I was not a "good fit" for the nonprofit.
More recently, over two years on social networks and two separate times, I applied to nonprofits, both not well-established, relatively new and both which I learned about online only and which seemed to have only an online presence. Both nonprofits have "courted" me, seeking to win my trust through their friendliness and expressed appreciation of my support and hard work on their behalf. I wanted to "step up" my involvement as "just a supporter," and wanted to be admitted to volunteer status. So two separate times, I applied and because there were disability-related questions both times, to "keep it real," I disclosed my self-diagnosed autism spectrum condition, Marfan's Syndrome and epilepsy. Both times, I was asked to surrender my Social Security Number (SS#); while the CEO's and staunch supporters of these nonprofits had initially been friendly to me, after I was refused as an applicant, each time, I was "dropped like a hot potato," just as a boy who wants intercourse with a girl treats her when he is through with her. Both of these experiences have caused me much personal grief, depression and which forced me to re-live my past, questioning whether ANYONE could be trusted.
Of course, I know that my bad experiences are largely because I applied to nonprofits that were not sympathetic to my life experiences and which were not well-established, well-funded or proved. I had believed their glowing claims about themselves and the claims of their supporters without seeing the results of their work. In the case of the two nonprofits I more recently applied to, there has been very little accountability or transparency on the part of either one. If anyone reading this wants to volunteer time with a nonprofit, know that in this era of background checks (thanks to the unethical, even criminal acts of volunteers or employees), you can expect to be required to surrender your SS# to "prove who you are" and you may be asked for other sensitive personal information; online searches may even be done to dig up "digital dirt" on you. And if, as I do, you have invisible disabilites that are widely misunderstood or stigmatized, you cannot count on the nonprofit to respond to your self-disclosure of your situation with empathy or support. This is not to discourage anyone from applying to volunteer your time, as long as you know that you "have the stuff" they are looking for and have done your homework about the nonprofit.
Yes, I know that every nonprofit has the right and the duty to carefully screen those who want to gain access to them through wanting to be received as official volunteers. This holds especially true in these days of our culture of lies and deception and high-profile exposure of too many unethical, even criminal acts of volunteers. In these days of increasing lack of trust and background checks, it is easy to be soured out on the very idea of volunteering and giving to nonprofits. Though nonprofits promise us a sense of belonging and community through volunteering or giving, we need to remember that nonprofits are NOT our friends and that we are only a means to the end of their protecting and serving their clients and furthering their interests as nonprofits and that they will value us only if they see that we can benefit them. And I have found this out the hard, painful way!
I realize that some organizations, like those that serve families with missing loved ones or which seek to identify deceased people, have to "keep close to the vest" and be close-mouthed about many matters to protect investigations. But ANY nonprofit that asks for donations from the public or that asks applicants sensitive personal information like SS#'s and the like, owe the public transparency and accountability! Based on my own, painful personal experience with certain nonprofits and based on others' experiences that I have read about, I discourage anyone from applying to ANY nonprofit that require you to sign vaguely-worded, sweeping waivers and confidentiality agreements that are set up solely to protect nonprofits and reduce THEIR liability while increasing YOURS. Such agreements are meant to "gag" you from exposing any unethical or unlawful practices or which "cover their rear-ends" if your experience with them should turn out to be a bad one. And I encourage anyone to be leery of ANY nonprofit that insists on your SS# and other personal information without providing transparency or accountability concerning themselves. After all, the Bible tells us to be "harmless as "doves" but also to be as "wise as serpents."
Yes, we are to give of our time, our talents, our skills and our resources. But there are many options to give and to share and many opportunities. Kindness, giving and sharing do not have to equal stupidity or being taken advantage of. Volunteering and giving can be wonderful, rewarding experiences for us as well as blessings to those we serve when we are discerning as well as generous. Below are links to sites that empower us to be discerning as we seek to give and to share. Please take the time to check them out.
http://www.charitynavigator.org/
This website provides comprehensive information about nonprofits in general and databases about many specific nonprofits. Not every nonprofit is evaluated there and we are not to read anything into that except that we are better-off to try to stick to nonprofits that are easy to evaluate and that are listed. My opinion.
http://www.bbb.org/Find-Business-Reviews
This is the Better Business Bureau website where we can find information about nonprofits that are listed with it and where we can file complaints about nonprofits (and for-profits) that we see engaging in unethical practices.
http://www.irs.gov/
This is the website for the Internal Revenue Service (IRS). There is a "Charities and Nonprofits" tab there with much information about nonprofits and tax-exempt status in general. There is also a search tool, "Exempt Organizations Select Check" where you enter the basic data for a nonprofit and you can see if it is officially registered with the IRS.
http://privacyrights.org/
This website has much information about issues of privacy and as these pertain to other related issues.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)